I’m going to hell. It’s a sure thing. I’ve failed to ask forgiveness for having premarital sex, and that my friends is a sin. Toss in an almost guaranteed ( I have no absolute proof they were married) tryst or two on the wrong side of the adultery edict, and I’m almost surely headed for an eternal stint in the brimstone conflagration.
At least so say the Christians. The Muslims on the other hand would have already sent me off to my ignominious perpetual damnation beneath a hail of rather hard rocks. They are not quite so enlightened as the just barely fell out of the evolutionary tree god worshipers. They still have the eye for an eye and a rock for a stiff cock theory to overcome, and they’re far to busy trying to blow up Christians to get past it.
The Talmud is much easier on me. thank god for those little Jewish bastards. I’m allowed to hump any woman I want. They could be kind of rough on the woman though. In olden times she was even an adulteress if she had sex with anyone but her husbands brother after he perished. Not the brother you sicko, the husband. One more of those areas of life where you just kinda look to the heavens and be thankful you have that extra appendage.
oh my god…I’m researching this as i go…so that was an earnest oh my god of astonishment right there. These asshole Hindu’s are going to make me come back as a creeping bug, after they make me die early. Fornicating and adultery both fall under the lewdness clause of the holy scriptures ,so Instead of coming back as an inedible cow I get to be a termite. They’re just jealous because they have small Indian penis.
whew, finally…a little relief. The Taoists find my lewd and lascivious activities to be atrocious as well, but they aren’t going to punish me. They are going to lecture me onerously instead. passage after stultifying passage against the anomaly that is lewd behavior.
Is Buddhism really a religion? it looks like just a way for one Buddhist to keep score of how much more perfect he is than another Buddhist…who cares…no punishment for having sex. I am now a Buddhist
So tell me, how did sex get to be so dirty? I don’t think adultery is a bad thing. least if you don’t get caught, or let your guilty conscience talk you into a confession. Of course I’m not married.
there…a sex post…blow me.
Ain’t We Got Fun?
October 7, 2008My, my, my. Isn’t this just a pickle? I like being right, but there is a limit.I’m here to tell you, I’ve never had this much fun, and I’ve been to two world fairs and a goat fucking. Politics, finance, world order itself hang in the balance, and it gets no better than that.
In just the last month as I reckon it the federal government has injected or is on the verge of injecting over TWO Trillion (that’s trillion with a T) bucks into the financial market. What comes after trillion? it’s million,billion, trillion….but what comes next? Whatever it is, we’ve sunk a quarter of one of them into this mess. In fact, I’m not even counting the fannie and freddie buyout, so probably more like 3 trillion.
Yet, amazingly, no one is to blame. I keep stopping as I write this. Laughter overcomes me. A complete and utter dearth of leadership has created the situation, and suddenly we find that the two candidates aren’t really capable of leading either. Given an incredibly devastating economic crisis just 2 months prior to the election, and McCain panics whilst Obama cowers. The cowering isn’t exactly a surprise. It conforms to both the voting record, and the lack of forthrightness on the part of Barack. The panic was a little surprising. I take it that’s what a bonafide hero does when faced with a situation beyond his understanding. Lacking the tools to capture the essence of the crisis it is better to do be doing something useless than nothing at all. I remember the mindset clearly from my time in the military. I believe they teach it at The Basic Officers Course.
So what we have is a candidate willing to trounce longtime friendships as if they mean nothing, and a candidate incapable of dealing with those issues not related to beans, bullets, and bandages. Let’s look back:
We could’ve had Hillary. Mitt. Guiliani. A host of others. All uniquely unqualifed, but gifted with the egocentricity needed to believe one capable of performing that job. Bill probably would be nice to have around right now. Would be nice if he hadn’t used up his term limits before he achieved wisdom. Oh well. What we have are these two knuckleheads. Both of whom, coincidently, have less executive experience, and less personal appeal than the vice presidential candidate. The hockey mom. Not the inveterate liar and longtime defender of current social policy that has us where we are today. Of course, I’m partial to a well turned calve. Beats worn out political bullshit everytime.
Anyway. I just came by to chuckle. Spending what you don’t have got us here. Blame whoever you want, but that’s what did it. Your friends, neighbors, coworkers…maybe you, maybe a little me. that’s who got us here. Bad spending, atrocious voting. Accepting that in a free and democratic society the government should be bailing out private enterprise. We suck folks, and we just keep sucking. Come the first Tuesday in November we’re going to suck again. We chose these two to lead us to the promised land? We’re we drinking? Hopped up on speedballs and Latte’? Whatever the case. This is frigging hilarious.
awkward conciliatory and encouraging afterward:
If your job is sound, and you aren’t in hock up to your genitalia; if you spend little and conserve copiously you should come through this mess ok. If not, well, tough shit. You were warned.