Headlines I’d like to see

Violent Lesbian Gang Attacks Rosie O’Donnell As She Cheers Them On

Ron Paul Eaten By Cannibalistic Militiamen in Wyoming, federal government says it has no jurisdiction

President of GlaxoSmithKline Defecates Himself to Death After Taking Alli

Paris Hilton Requests to Stay in Jail; Cites Privacy Issues

In The Interest Of Fairness, Congress Outlaws Heterosexual Marriage

In Exchange For 12 Million Illegal Immigrants Washington D. C. Ceded To Mexico

France Has Become….no, I can’t…to ez.

Hillary Elected President: Rest of World Dies Laughing

Intelligent Human Found Writing Blog: World Wide Web Shutdown in Alarm 

Dick Cheney Declared Big DooDoo Head By Congressional Leader Nancy Pelosi; in related story, bra strap breaks and kills three

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