1 Now that she’s free, Paris Hilton should announce on Larry King Live that she will follow in the footsteps of Mother Teresa, but with a twist. Her mission shall be to give driving lessons to itinerant millionaires.
2. Rosie O’donnel should sign with MSNBC. She should host a talk show on conservative christian values that could compete with the 700 club on daytime TV. I’ll be at work.
3. Now that a massive forest fire is threatening the ritzy Lake Tahoe area, I think they should start talking about how forest fires are natural and healthy for the environment more. Let this one burn for awhile. The area has an infestation of multimillion dollar homes that need to be removed anyway.
4. As much as I hate to agree with the militiamen…Ron Paul IS being ignored by the media. He would get more press if he’d just listen to me and get a boobjob.
5. Anyone notice how there have been an awful lot of riots in Europe over the last few years? If thats what being more civilized is all about I’ll pass. They should act more like us.
6. In telling the tale of Roscoe’s love affair with my foot I received several anecdotes from others that lead me to believe that not only are rabbits liberals, but they are Bill Clinton liberals.
7. Tom Cruise wants to make a movie about Adolf Hitler. Now, considering he is a scientologist, I think he should attend the premiere. Maybe in Jerusalem? or Tel Aviv?
8. I think someone should slip Alli into the next congressional luncheons main course. It may turn the Potomac orange, but I think it would be worth it when you consider all the useless crap it would purge.
author’s note: This is a work of at best dubious humor. I do not now, nor have I ever advocated committing felonies against the leadership of the united states.
I’ve recommended they be exiled, but that’s as far as I go. I’m not a Ron Paul follower for gosh sakes.
9. While I hate to pile on, Dick Cheney should get off the high horse he is on, and obey the presidential directive. Instead he is accusing the democrats of playing politics, and they are. Just once Dickhead, er, I mean Dickless, no thats not it either. Uh just plain dick…just once, be the bigger buttmunch, and cave.
10. I need Ted Kennedy to tell me what the right thing to do is? Get outta town. We Talking Ted, I got drunk and drove my car into the water at Chappaquiddick killing a young woman, and have never had to pay any price for this crime Ted Kennedy? Why the hell do those Idiots in massachusetts vote for this murderer? He is the proof beyond any other except that rascist former KKK clown Robert Byrd that our system is fatally flawed. Both democrats. A racist and a drunken murderer…and they call conservatives bad people. thats nervy.