I’ve nothing to write about

  well, i was going to write, but it just isn’t there.  Big surprise.   My mind is on the coming bar-b-q, drinkathon, fireworks extravaganza, and keeps being invaded by random dumbness.  I have maybe 20 good ideas a day on what to write about, but I only have them when I’m not in the vicinity of anything to write with.  If a tool for communication is present i have all the creative ability of an oyster.  Which is I why I keep dropping all these pearls on the three of you.

    Does Great Britain get pissy and plot revenge on the fourth of July?

    Do liberal females support islamic radicals because Burkha’s look so comfortable?

    I know its not commonly known, but freedom of speech goes hand in hand with the freedom to STFU.

    Do personal attacks bother you?  When someone attacks my person I generally go clip my toenails. 

    Have you ever been in a bar, half drunk and thought “there is no one in this whole place that I’m going to sleep with tonight?”  

    me neither

    when your phone rings do you find yourself sneaking up on it hoping the call isn’t from you know who?

    when you get in your car do you feel sexier, or does that just happen to bald fat middleaged men driving vettes?

    How mad would you be if you found out that vegetables being healthy was just a government disinformation    campaign designed to help out farmers?

    Have you ever been talking to someone, and out of the blue you think “i’ve finally found my soulmate?

    Have you ever been right?   again, me either

     If it wasn’t for my children I would likely be rich, incredibly adventurous, and very unhappy.

     there are exactly 7,436,519 reasons why men and women should not live in the same house.  Yet they still persist in this insanity.

     they keep making gadgets that will make my life easier.  All I want is something that will bend over for me.  that I could use.  Nope, its not a feature on the Iphone so I will never own one.

     If being poor isn’t fun why are so many people poor?

     to my liberal fan base:  If George Bush is so stupid, how did he beat Al Gore and John Kerry?  I mean, if they’re the best and the brightest the liberals have to offer, how did a dumbie get the job meant for them?

      If you ever have a few minutes to kill, and your ignorant about what the fight against islamic fundamentalism is all about…type the words “sharia law” in your browser window.  No, don’t bother.  you’re funner when you don’t know what the hell you are talking about.

      I have ribs marinating, rum and tequila cooling, and my neighbors expecting our attendance at the usual 4th of july get together.  

    Thank god i have rum and tequila cooling.  Inebriation is the only thing that makes neighbors tolerable.

     My son just woke up.  Had I ever slept past noon my father would have…well…it’s why I call him father, and not dad.

    Happy fourth of july.  May the freedom we cherish be recognized as something others fought and died for. 

    

   

    

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15 Responses to I’ve nothing to write about

  1. mdvp says:

    Happy Fourth of July. I would think the British do plot revenge. I know that I get mad at them on Guy Fawkes day (I’m Catholic). Well, at least the one time when I knew it was Guy Fawkes day.

  2. the movie V for vendetta has a guy fawkes theme running through it i think its like the 5th of november?

  3. mdvp says:

    Never saw it, it looked stupid and I’ve already read 1984 so I get the basic premise, just change it so the main character has a mask. Somewhere in the November-October area, I think.

  4. its actually quite good on a number of levels. If though you watch movies to see some literary cretin purge his system this one isn’t so much for you.

  5. mdvp says:

    No, I’m not that sort of person, really, but I do think it really seemes like a sort of 1984-ish thing. maybe I’m wrong about it, I suppose the basical premise seemed okay.

  6. I give it my highest cinematic rating…its not a waste of 2 hours. Husaa

  7. mdvp says:

    Maybe I’ll rent it sometime then.

    This is the fastest I’ve ever completely forgotten what I was taling about in the first place.

  8. that my friend is called “good conversation.” *L*

  9. Anita Marie says:

    My Birthday is on November 5th…so sure, I know when it’s Guy Fawkes Day-my Dad’s family were from Scotland so I’m not short on Fawkes Folklore.

    Here’s a link if you’re interested: http://www.bcpl.net/~cbladey/guy/html/main1.html

    Anyway on the 4th of July I like to call my friends in Scotland and yell over the sound of Fireworks and people screaming, ” hey that was my eye you dumb ass ”

    -” Guess who WE’RE celebrating Independence from?”

    You ain’t lived till you’ve been cursed by entire villages in Scotland.

    amm

  10. Oh, Anita. Your malevolence is both hilarious and heartwarming. Do you pick on them about the kilts?

  11. Anita Marie says:

    Nah that’s way too easy.
    They’re ALWAYS reads for it.
    Darn.
    amm

  12. mdvp says:

    Oh yeah, I forgot. Remember remember the 5th of November, yes, blah blah, etc. but here’s my favorite part:

    A penny loaf to feed the Pope.
    A farthing o’ cheese to choke him.
    A pint of beer to rinse it down.
    A faggot of sticks to burn him.
    Burn him in a tub of tar.
    Burn him like a blazing star.
    Burn his body from his head.
    Then we’ll say ol’ Pope is dead.
    Hip hip hoorah!
    Hip hip hoorah hoorah!

    of course I don’t think they sing that part any more.

  13. this was all i could find of it, but i got to reading something else and forgot what i was doing

    Remember, remember the fifth of November
    The gunpowder treason and plot.
    I see no reason why gunpowder treason
    Should ever be forgot.

    Guy Fawkes, twas his intent
    To blow up king and parliament.
    Three score barrels were laid below
    To prove old England’s overthrow.

    By God’s mercy he was catched
    With a dark lantern and lighted match.
    Holler boys, holler boys, let the bells ring
    Holler boys, holler boys, God save the King

  14. mdvp says:

    Yes, and traditionally, the bigoted bit came after that, but seeing as you can’t hurt anyone’s feelings any more.

  15. hey, i was happy to see it. the web is awonderful place.

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