sunday is for random thoughts #5

1.Nothing will end a relationship quicker than talking about the relationship.

2,I talk to inanimate objects.  Half of the people that just thought “what a doofus” talk to plants, gold fish, and their spouses.

3. look, fishtracks

4. I’m older, wiser, and meaner than you.  Yeah, you have more stuff.  you win

5. text messaging is not the root of all evil, but it is the weapon of choice of idiots and knaves

6. 70 congesspersons are women, 16 senators are women, about 50 percent of the population is made up of women. The problem isn’t gone yet.

8. everyone is dysfunctional but me…I am datfunctional

9. i want world peace, and end to starvation and a cigarette.  Some of your goals should always be attainable.

10. I’m not nearly as impressed with the new 7 wonders as I was with the old ones.  Do you think thats because of online voting, or because 6 of the old 7 no longer exist?

11. the internet is not making us dumber.  It just gives more dumb people access. (more on this one later)

12. Jimmy Stewart, Idi Amin Dada, and Toulouse Lautrec’ three people i would not invite to dinner

13.  you can’t gargle with a ping pong ball in your mouth. (just to see if i get any search engine hits on this)

14.  if brains were made of cotton I know a lot of people that wouldn’t have enough  cotton to make a tampon for a termite.

15.  if everyone said what they thought I’d go to church on Sundays.

16.   If I could bring myself to believe in creationism it would be a lot easier to understand why the world is so messed up.  Was god in a union? was there a deadline? He could’ve spent several millenia just on free thought.

17.  I am stuck on bandaids, because bandaids stuck on me.  (random isn’t always that much fun is it?)

18. putrescence, sarcastic, and insipid….that covers congress for this week

19.  facetious, abstemious, and aerious.  three words that prove there are not just two words in the english language with all five vowels in their proper order

20.   nothing is ever as it seems, and everything seems different to everyone.  Add to that there is no hard “truth” outside of mathematics, and you can pretty well assume that whatever someone else is saying isn’t true for you.

21.  not tonight, i have a headache.   (see what i mean)

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9 Responses to sunday is for random thoughts #5

  1. For the record, you are correct about #13.

    I tried it.

    I’m also the same guy who (in elementary school) took a paper clip, unfolded it, and put each end into a wall socket.

    It’s amazing how you actually can bounce off a wall…

  2. YAYE RICHARD…i used a fork.

  3. How did we survive without some kind of oversight committee trying to make sure that no one plugged things into sockets? Hell, I even rode a 10-speed bicycle down Port Jefferson Hill (on Long Island) and I didn’t have a helmet and the bicycle had no brakes and according to the cool Tyco speedometer I had back then, I hit 45 MPH when I smashed into the curb. Life was more fun back when we didn’t know we were indestructible.

  4. mdvp says:

    A facetious post written by an author who is certainly not abstemious.

    Is aerious even officially a word?

  5. yeah….it means airy..i know i shouldn’t know that, but worthless crap is what i do bestest

  6. I’m noticxing a trend that disturbs me no end. My buddy Scott and I used to take turns driving while the other held onto the window of the car while riding a ten speed….not the new style fat tired ten speeds…the old thin tired ten speeds. 110 mph is probably not safe on them, but I can verify that it is doable

  7. The ten-speeds with the thin tires were the best. At least you felt like you were riding a bicycle, you know? Then, all of a sudden, the thicker (“safer”) wheels came along. That’s when I decided if I wanted to have any fun, I’d have to put my office chair attached to the back of my friend’s Ford pickup and go down the road. The chair hit a pothole when we hit 25 MPH and I got a little banged up. (And this was before I even knew about JACKASS.)

  8. deep sigh of relief….i’m not as nuts as richard…phew

  9. You ain’t nuts, man. You’re grapes.

    Euell Gibbons reference.

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