this bugs me

July 10, 2007

A lot of things do.  Mostly I ignore them, but every now and again I like to take the time to express it to you, my loyal readers…yeah, yeah, both of you…I’ve heard that one before.

Pakistan-  Maybe I just haven’t noticed, but it seems to me the worst part of our little war on terror is the destabilization of Pakistan.  It’s not a great leap for me to imagine the place in Muslim control.  no big deal, but they do have nukes.

New words-  I don’t mind them so much as it all seems to be a popularity contest.  Some person will say something like ginormous, and everyone will say “oh wow, they said ginormous.  Lets put it in the dictionary.”  You know who I’m talking about.  Red Hot something something.  I forget the name.  In case you’re curious, merriam webster released its new words…i’m sure you can find it.

 If stanley and livingston had been bloggers.  “Dr. Livingston…I have pinged you.”  we’ll never know that sort of intrepid fellow again.  Unless the whoremongers of Vitalicus send a spaceship.

okay, i just have to…it’s eating its way through my frontal lobe, and is headed toward the medulla oblongata.  If I don’t get rid of it now, it’s bound to leave me at best dull normal, at worst, vegetative.  Ron Paul is a quasi-libertarian, right?  Ok, I know he isn’t, and my readers generally seem to know he isn’t, but for the sake of this blurb we’re just going to go along with the program.  So, that being true it makes sense that his followers are likewise libertarians?  I think.  Anyway.  That generally means they are constitutionalists, right?  Meaning they support a government run according to the constitution.  I’m getting there, christ you are so impatient.  This means freedom of speech is a big thing to them.  Except, it would appear if you speak against Ron Paul.  Let me change that.  If you point out the real Ron Paul’s flaws.  It seems if you do that you are to be breaded, dipped in boiling animal fat,  and fed to the faithful. 

Semi-literate athletes that speak in the third person.  I should probably give them credit for knowing what that is, but I’m sort of inclined to think they don’t.  Call me cynical.

Irascible men.  I hate them.  i think they should be deported to someplace warm like Jamaica and be forced to imbibe in the flowering and seeding plants of that island with nubile young Jamaican harlots.

Political bumper stickers.  I don’t know why, but it seems every time I get some asswit doing 40 on the freeway in front of me he has an Elect Hillary sticker or some such.  Tell you what, turdburglar, you get that damn yugo up to 90 like your supposed to and I’ll consider it. 

Hyper- sexual rabbit day –  it seems to occur every couple of weeks.  I have finally figured out a way to fix mr. roscoe the wonder bunnies wagon.  I’ve purchased shin guards.  You know, like the field hockey (chick sport plug) ones.  He is going to bruise his tumescent ankle banger next time it happens

ok, I’m not particularly bugged by much of this, but I had a theme going.  I’m going to keep writing bug posts till the swelling disappears.  No, not roscoe’s swelling.

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music…i don’t do that

July 10, 2007

well, I like music, but I get bored snotless when people talk about it.  What could be more dysfunctional than spending all your time talking about your Ipod playlist?  I know, y’all now think I’m a heathen commie, and thats cool.  I’ve never been able to do a music post, but i found this site that adds perspective to music as it relates to life.  It’s sorta funny, and worth a look.

there, I have now done a post relating in some small way to music.  Feel free to shoot my boring ass.


Ginormo’s Karmic Revenge

July 10, 2007

   If you haven’t met Ginormo, he can be found here.  I, being an incredibly self righteous twit when it comes to bugs failed to be impressed by Ginormo, and having no notion what a sound mind does, mine told me to pick on the bug in questions.

Apparently insects have feelings, and juice with the karma deities.

I was working about 50 feet off the ground, on a 12 inch walkboard.  It was the usual hot, the usual humid, and the usual pain in the ass because you have to wear alll this safety equipment.  I was suspended between the plenum and the baghouse.  I hadn’t given a moments thought to Ginormo, or any potential for revenge that the book bench pressing ratbag might have in store.  Until I was swarmed by the hornets.  They got me good.  Like 50 times.  I managed to do the Tommy boy Bee dance off the board, and get to hell out of there.

I shall never question the theory of karma again.  I shall never pick on a bug again.  I shall, aw who am i kiddin, to hell with ginormo, tomorrow I’m going to kill me up some bees.

I’m also mad at max for loaning him her cell phone.  I don’t really believe in Karma either.  This was a conspiracy, a plot, an intentional scheme to attack my person for bering a wiseass.


6a.m. hateful #2

July 10, 2007

  even people I like piss me off this time of the morning.

i have just grounded my sleeping children for two weeks

the rest of you are also grounded.

and no tv, fuckers


When you want something

July 10, 2007

You tend to pull out the big guns.   You know what your big guns are, and you know how you’ll use them if the need arises.  It’s not unnatural or abnormal to do this.   A normal person will do what he has to to get what he wants.  Naturally there are societal pressures brought to bear that make most people limit the usage of their big guns. 

    Whats funny to me is how many really heinous things are lawful.  How many horrid things normal people can do to each other that never even approach unlawful behaviour.  Children are used all the time for bad purposes.  Got a divorce case? Break out the kids.  Make them hate mommy or daddy, or god forbid use them to make daddy stay with mommy , or vice versa.  It’s a rotten thing to do, and children, all children, deserve a better form of love than this behaviour implies.

    That to me is probably the ultimate legal big gun.  Tarring and feathering should be reinstated as a lawful punishment for people that would use their children in this way.  there are many, many, others.  Use your friends, your influence, your job, your talent, to get the reaction from someone that you desire.  It’s often without any wrongful intent, and I’m not talking about that.  When you use these things to bring harm to another though you have crossed an ethical line that may not be addressed by the law. Fortunately there is a little thing called karma that will balance it out in the end.  As for me, the normal things that normal people do, suck, and so do the normal people that do them.

author’s note: this is apropo of nothing.  if you think I am talking about you you are likely wrong.  I do not interject myself into the affairs of others, and therefore this can’t be about you.  


Not really news, but fun anyway

July 10, 2007

here are some stories that probably affect you not in the least.  That’s what’s known as good news, even if it’s not so good news for those it happened to.

http://www.mail.com/newsarticle.aspx?catId=1&articleId=1131088

i like this one for its irony.  Some would say that Mexico is America’s sinkhole.

http://www.mail.com/newsarticle.aspx?catId=3&articleId=1131217

aww those frisky Canadians.  Canada’s imperialistic intentions raise there ugly head in this delightful article about the arctic, and a rock.  The Danes and whatever you call greenland people do not think it’s funny, and the U.S. isn’t all for it either.  A private message to the canadian President.  Don’t get pimp slapped.  We’re almost odne in our other two wars, and I’ve long advocated an attack on you.  My reasoning?  You’re closest.

http://www.mail.com/NewsArticle.aspx?catId=2&articleId=1131128&newssiteid=1

astronaut chat looks familiar.  I don’t know about you, but when I wish to talk to someone I just walk up and pepper spray them.  Carrying a hammer is also useful, and nothing quite like a ginsu for a conversation starter.

http://www.mail.com/NewsArticle.aspx?catId=2&articleId=1130720&newssiteid=1

you don’t have a snowballs chance in Buenos Aires.  What a day this must of been for the kids. anyone under 94 hasn’t seen this there.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20070709/od_nm/pamplona_women1_dc_1;_ylt=AuVfgWUzDajUY0a2nMjiiYUL1vAI

equal rights in Pamplona.  In america, Running with the cows is known as “buffet style dining”

http://www.mail.com/NewsArticle.aspx?catId=3&articleId=1131177&newssiteid=1

how nice…prosecutors can be so understanding.  22 years in prison, DNA clears him, and the prosecutor in a generous move decides not to retry the guy.  I hope he ends up owning New Jersey

http://www.cnn.com/2007/US/07/09/hemingway.cats.ap/index.html

I can haz 6 toes?  The folks at icanhazcheeseburger may have been scooped here… Ernest Hemingways house gets to keep its cats…USDA defeated.  This may well be the only cat story I ever reference.  (CNN hard at it again)

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,288724,00.html

cure smoking , and drinking, and gambling…the addiction pill.  varenicline has proven effective against smoking, and now maybe drinking.  I wonder if it cures being addicted to bad relationships…that sucker would really sell..its from pfizer, I saw no mention of crapping your pants.   (foxnews)

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/19650857/site/newsweek/

this isn’t news.  this has been going on for a long time, from mcdonalds glasses with lead in the paint to color crayons, the chinese have never been real concerned about consumer safety.  This isn’t fun news, this is I told you so.  (msnbc)