and i have spent my day inundated with them. A veritable cornucopia of nitwits, knaves, and thieves is what I have spent my day with.
so I came here. It should be so much better.
What did Uncle Sam do for you this week? Well, for whatever reason he thinks he did $427.00 worth for me. I’m trying to calculate what that is. There wasn’t a quarter pound of decent bud in the mailbox from congress, and I know those burnouts get the good stuff. George didn’t send me tickets to see cirque du soleil and a gift card for Ruth chris. The roads suck, the schools suck, the health care sucks, and anything the government touches sucks so what the hell are they doing with my money? I didn’t include the state, the medicare, the local, or any of the other gimmee your moneys, just the federal. It’s hard not to want Ron Paul for president to be honest. Just for the alleged tax decrease.
then I went to the bank. What is in the mind of young women? Do they really think flirting with someone old enough to be their dad is professional behaviour? And why the hell do they try to count when they lack a talent for the art, and the damn number comes right up on their little cash register anyway? Here’s a tip to CSR’s. Be polite. Do your job. Shut the hell up. I’m not interested in anything you have to say. If I want conversation I’ll wander over to O’malley’s and buy a round.
Bills bills bills. I really don’t mind this. I do it every couple of months whether they send a reminder or not. I don’t have any truly extraneous ones, except of course from rentasasquatch.com. As sex toys go they aren’t bad, and they make a decent maid if you don’t want fine detail work accomplished.
The dumb kid question of the day: Dad, can I have $200.00? the dumb dad question of the day “for what?” “I need some shoes” “No” The reason my question was dumb is because unless he found a way to stop world hunger with $200.00 he wasn’t getting it. He has set a new standard in lazy this summer, and I’m a little worn with it. Hookers and politicians show more ambition to work than this child that thinks he’s a man. His excuse is a good one. “I don’t want to work. I’m 17. It’s my last summer off.” I’d fall for it, but if i do he’ll end up saying “I’m 27, it’s my last summer off” someday.
Roscoe pulled an okie doke on me. I couldn’t find him when I got home. My first thought was “oh no, my porn.” Er, erotica. Then I remembered its online, and i went phew. Then I started looking. I checked the places I hoped he’d be first. He wasn’t on a plate on the table with greens, he wasn’t in the freezer, and he wasn’t in a pan on the stove. Hopes dashed, I continued to seek the furbag for about 20 minutes. When I left this morning I hung the towel on the hook on the bathroom door as always. Gravity, as always dashed my wishes, and Roscoe decided under that towel was a great place for a nice quiet nap. He has to nap during the day. If he doesn’t he will fail to wake me up every hour on the hour just to see what’s up. At least I hope thats why he slams his head into my resting place. He could be testing the structural integrity. One of these days it will collapse and i will become a love toy for a lagomorph.
The neighbor. I despise him like I despise sweaty testicles, pauliacs, and chihuahua’s. His ignorant bald lazy ass has something to say everytime I drive up. Today it was your dog was barking with a scowl on his face, and an insolent tone in his voice. I finally decided to hell with it. I walked around the fence and I proceeded to beat the holy living shit out of him. Once I finally beat him onto the ground I commenced kicking him in every vital organ i could think of…ok, I didn’t, but while he yammered on about the trauma caused by my dogs five minutes of barking I did visualize that scenario.
I ended up just ignoring his dumb ass and walked into the house. I haven’t mentioned work. The reason for that is i might not maintain anything that resembles sanity if i write about it.
so how was your day?