Pauliac: paw-lee-ack A zealous follower of Ron Paul, manifesting itself primarily on the internet, but can also be found scattered across the Northern Mexico Territory of Texas, and in small enclave’s scattered across North America.
How To Tell If You Are A Pauliac
Each yes answer is worth one point. Scoring is at the bottom.
1. Have you voted more than once in the same online poll?
2. Does your reading comprehension decrease when you read something negative about Ron Paul?
3. Have you caught yourself saying “but the other candidates are worse” in lieu of an actual point in an argument about Ron Paul?
4. Do you own more than 7 handguns and belong to a militia?
5. Do you think racism is blown out of proportion, and not really relevant in todays society?
6. Have you ever drooled more than a quart while on one of your famous tirades about the magnificence of Ron Paul?
7. Do you think libertarian means “the complete destruction of the federal government” in favor of a totalitarian regime led my the miniscule marvel?
8. Have most of your friends stopped talking to you, and do your neighbors drive around the block rather than have to wave to your crazy ass?
9. Do you believe taxes should be like the earth….flat?
10. Have you ever when locked in your bathroom reading Ron Paul Today with your pants around your ankles thought, “man he is such a hunk?”
11. in your Ron Paul loving lexicon, is liberal defined as “gay” and is conservative defined as “fascist?”
12. Do you think criminyjicket is the wisest blogger on the face of the earth?
if you answered yes to 12 questions you are utterly confused, and not allowed to vote because you are currently incarcerated in a penal or mental institution.
if you answered yes to 11 questions you are not only a pauliac, but are also being sought by the law in at least four states, and by unwed mothers in at least three others.
if you answered yes to between 6-10 questions you are a garden variety Pauliac. There is no hope for you. You will spend the next 1.5 years walking in the shadow of his vainglorious personage, utterly convinced he has a chance. You will spend the 4 years after that saying “things would have been different if Ron Paul hadn’t been ignored by the media.
if you answered yes to between 3 and-5 questions you are a pauliac, but you’ll get over it when you realize that he is just another politician.
if you answered yes to 2 questions, and neither of them was number 12, you are a liberal. You just haven’t figured out yet that Ron Paul Hates You.
if you answered yes to only one question and it was not number 12, you are a centrist. Once it all sorts itself out you will vote for the democratic candidate that wins the primary.
if you answered yes to only one question and it was number 12, you are either a blood relative, incredibly bright, or are sucking up to me in hopes of suckering me out of something later.