Dad of the year

my son comes home and says “dad, I caused a car accident,” with a big smile on his face.  Regardless of the circumstances, that’s not a nice combination.  I asked anyway.  “I was walking down the sidewalk, and this woman drives by, and she’s got this rubberneck thing going on staring at me. Then wham, she plows right into a pickup from behind.”  “was anyone hurt?”  “nope.  I went over and checked.”  I’m pleased he went to check, but damn his ego is going to be hard to fit in the house.

son #2 comes home.  He says “Dad, I need to talk to you.”  My mind screams “uh oh.”  My mouth says “go ahead.”  Well, I really like my best friends sister, and you know more about this kind of thing than Zach, so what should I do.”

“well, first you should be a better judge of what others know,” says I.  I know almost nothing about women, and the only moderately successful relationship I’ve ever had ended in death.  “well Zach just said “bros before ho’s.”  (can you do that with quotation marks? who cares? So I said “no man who has succeeded in a relationship has lived by that addage since we were writing on caves with dung.”  “well, what should I do?”  “whatever you decide.  Let me know how it works out.”

Daughter comes home.  “dad, can I have $20 to go to the movies with Kelsey?  Her mom says she’ll go with us.”

Sometimes daughters are the easy ones.

14 Responses to Dad of the year

  1. mdvp says:

    “well Zach just said “bros before ho’s.”

    So your son is an Obama supporter?

  2. nah, he is my hip hop fan, and a wise arse. He is withholding judgement on who he is voting for. I’m trying to get him signed on to the grape ticket, but right now he is a hillary fan

    “bring up a child in the way that he should go, and when he is older he will…
    do whatever he wants

  3. mdvp says:

    Hillary? Really? That’s Obama’s unofficial campaign slogan.

    Well, at least you got him to do the whole ‘withholding judgement’ thing.

    Humph. Moderates.

  4. the problem with raising your children to be independent is that it’s hypocritical to quash the things they want to do that are wrong.

  5. snezpah says:

    I love this. It reminds me of my brothers and I and it reminds me of my dad. Some of the things we would say to him would scare him sometimes. I think

  6. hi snezpah…trust me…some of the things you said scared the holy living hell out of him

    thanks for coming by

  7. Conundrum says:

    Daughters are rarely the easy-to-raise children so cherish the moment. However, they are usually the ones we appreciate most as adults…but not always.

    Sounds to me like you have been doing something right in the child-raising department (I hate that child-rearing term…it’s just so icky – sounds like child abuse in a nasty way. I must be smutty at heart but I take no pleasure from it…well most of the time.) I digress.

  8. they seem to do well in spite of my failures as a parent. Dr. Joyce would beat me with a hammer. Parenting is one of those things you just do what you THINK is best, and hope for the best

  9. That comment about the only moderately successful one ending in death, Criminy…

    I fucking love that line. It belongs in a hard-boiled private eye novel.

    But grapes can’t be hard-boiled, can they?

  10. that was a very poignant moment for me. i hadn’t thought of her in at least an hour. The wound is fresh though. It only happend 18 years ago.

  11. Yeah. It’s funny how certain souls get into ourselves so totally and completely. Sorry for your loss. When it comes to pain, 18 years ain’t shit.

  12. better to have quite likely loved, and lost than to never have quite likely loved at all

  13. Anita Marie says:

    I don’t know, I think it’s a good thing that your son is talking to you about this stuff- about anything really.

    And your daughter…oh Criminy, she should’ve asked you for 40.00- you’d have given it to her I’ll bet.

    Hmmm..I think your kids are keepers. They sound great to me.

  14. oh she’s a crafty one anita…she came back for more. *L*

    and thanks…they’re good kids

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