Sunday is for random thoughts #6

1.  Everyone who has ever accused me of being self destructive was pissed off at me for putting me before them.

2. old people brag about wisdom because everything else is going to hell on them.

3. fashion tip: go down to the dock…look at what the hookers are wearing…and don’t wear that.

4.  more fashion:  I wonder which guys are walking through walmart, see the lingerie, and thinks  “my girlfriend/wife/boyfriend would so love that”

5.  If I tell roscoe (see previous post) that max “linked” to him maybe he’ll take it sexually and go after HER ankle.

6.  It’s unfair I had to work today, even if yesterdays slothfulness caused it.  God didn’t have to work on Sunday, and he has proven to be nearly worthless.

7. Starbucks closed it’s store in the forbidden city because people thought it “marred” a historical site…only approximately 13,000 more to go. Woohoo.

8.  I wonder why running students over with tanks in Tianamen Square didn’t “mar”  that historical site.

9.  If we could harness the hot air coming from the mouths of politicians and turn it into an energy source, we would never need fossil fuels again.

10.  I bet humans taste better than they look.  Except Salma Hayek.

11.  for the first time i was “hit” more by search engines than referrers.  I wonder if that means I’m now hated everywhere.

12.  My uncle glen died today.  Being in your forties seems to make this occur a lot more.  That makes 7 in two years.

13. I’ve decided to start wearing a kilt.  I look great in knee socks, and it will facilitate my efforts to revitalize the lost art of mooning.

14.  Vote Grape!!!!  I’ve decided the official wine for my campaign will be anything with a screw on lid… no cheap funky tasting corks for my supporters.

15.  I once rode a rodeo bull.  Well, sort of. It was open the gate fall off as i recall.  Drinking does not help one make good choices, btw

16.  It also does not make you charming.  It does make you more tolerable to other drunks though.

17.  A good diet, regular sleep schedule, and a low stress existence increases your chances of being able to wear a diaper, and be abused in a nursing home for several years instead of only a couple.

18. To give away to good home.  one rabbit.  He is vicious, perverted, and cranky as hell.  Tranquilizer gun and 12 darts included.  Call anytime after 6.

19.  Pauliacs make me laugh a lot, but some of his followers are kind of bright.  Which leaves you wondering what the hell is Tsoldrin smoking, anyways?

20.  Someday you will look back on the time you spent reading the criminy infestation, and wonder why the hell you didn’t spend more time clipping your nails.

21.  Have a good week.  Make a difference.  Eat something thats bad for you.  Avoid assholes (my readership will decline),and smile more than you did this week.Treat someone you like to an ice cream.  tell someone you don;t like the truth about how you feel about them and why.  Wait for the swelling to go down and then tell them again.  Persistence is always respected.

ps  I went to Susan the astrologer nutbags blog.  She pegged me on the love thing…missed by several miles on everything else.  Another hack.

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15 Responses to Sunday is for random thoughts #6

  1. Anita Marie says:

    Cool post Criminy

    It had fashion tips and political news and some Sunday school stuff, a couple of PSA’s ( I’m guessing your Roscoe stories are a public health thing ) and history.

    Hey…

    Start your own news show.

    I’ll watch it- oh you can get Thompson Guy to co-anchor it with you.

    Wow, I MIGHT start watching the news with the sound up instead of just sneaking a peek at the crawlers.
    amm

  2. funny woman…the female desire to torment males is why i avoid marriage.

    what is a PSA, and what was sunday school stuff? *L*

  3. mdvp says:

    #4, so now your random thoughts are equal opportunity?

    #9 Al Gore alone would do the trick.

    #12 sorry to hear.

    #14 If you’re eating the corks, you’ve got the wrong idea.

    #19 whatever it is, tell him to share.

    #20 I concur.

    #21 I’ve got the 2nd part down so far. had an eggroll that had, I think, cat in it yesterday. Or were you talking junk food?

  4. well, upstaged already on the random thoughts post…well done comment, bud

    I especially like #9 and #20

  5. Anita Marie says:

    PSA is a Public Service announcement

    and I’m guessing anything involving God is Sunday School Stuff. I really wouldn’t know, the last time I was in church was when my friends joined the Secular Franciscan Order.

    That was three years ago.

    amm

  6. yeah..i figured it out anita…i’m just a little thick…takes me a bit

  7. Anita Marie says:

    Criminy I’m sorry about your Uncle- it’s been a heck of a week, hasn’t it?

    amm

  8. thank you Anita. I’m at an age where this just happens. A lot. He was 88, and died in his sleep…hard to beat

  9. max says:

    I am so for the kilts.

    I am sorry to hear about your uncle.

    Did I mention I am so for the kilts?

    I bet Roscoe will be too.

    :::whistling:::

    [ps: did i not warn you about susan?]

  10. me too

    me too
    me too, again, and thank you

    growls

    you can’t even whistle

    you did

  11. max says:

    I can whistle like a finch.

  12. a woman of many talents

    i can whistle except the way when you stick your fingers in your mouth

    it’s one of my greatest disappointments

  13. I can whistle like Salma Hayek.

  14. Conundrum says:

    What a hoot – love your sunday random thoughts posts.

    I’ll leave the kilts to you guys with the nice legs – might join you for the mooning resurgence though.

  15. thanks con. I don’t do much on a regular basis, but sunday random thoughts have been here since i started

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