Your Tax Dollars at Work

   I’m curious as to whether this would happen under the constitutional government envisioned by Ron Paul.  I’d also like to know where all of the candidates stand on this issue, and would seriously hope that all of them would state there views publically and for the record.  I know Ron Paul is for smaller government, but is he also for smaller members? I also know that the federal government sends millions of our tax dollars to the states every year for law enforcement.  With good reason.  Heinous crimes like the one in this link are perpetrated every day in our society, and I don’t think we have even scratched the surface of this problem.

   If we can afford to spend Billions on the war in Iraq, The war on poverty, the war on drugs, the war on whatever the hell we want, then I think we should start a new war.  The war on masturbation.  I think this fine officer could be the New Whack-off Czar, in the newly formed Chicken-chokers Enforcement Agency.

   I’m serious.  All you spank monkeys better watch your ass.  We’re coming for you.  Ron Paul is going to nip this shit in the bud when he becomes president.  I envision a new constitutional amendment just for you self-lusting pervoids.   We’re going to put you in the newspaper and let your poor old grandma read about you in between her self-love sessions, and when we catch her she’s going in a cell with you.

I’m ashamed of this article, but I just couldn’t help myself.  You  bone beaters better organize.

I didn’t mention women in this article because women don’t masturbate.

9 Responses to Your Tax Dollars at Work

  1. reagan says:

    yes we do just not to lil kids

  2. hi reagan

    that was kind of sick…what made you think of little kids on an article like htis?

    you’re scary

    thanks for dropping by though…the more nutjobs the merrier

  3. John in IL says:

    First they came for the smokers, then they came for the trans-fat eaters, then they came (tee hee) for the masturbators…

  4. stanky says:

    My guess is that Ron Paul would take a strict ‘hands off’ approach on this issue.

  5. bret says:

    Haha… now you are seeing the insanity of attempting to “war” things out of existence. We gotta look at the root causes and address the problems that way. The reason nobody in politics does that is because – they don’t care, they just want to continue to get elected. A Paul presidency would hold Congress’s feet to the fire, because he’d be continually holding press conferences where he says “guys, this is broken, we can fix it A, B, or C ways, but something should be done, DISCUSS.” I think they’re terrified of actually having to do something, thus no formal war declarations, nobody ever raises a stink about the enormous deficit, yadda yadda.

    I agree, if war is the answer, why not war on everything? The answer, of course, is that war is not, and will never be, the answer.

  6. Conundrum says:

    I just might come out of self-imposed gleefully-underemployed semi-retirement to work for this new Federal department – if and only if I would get an exemption from this heinous rule and full immunity from prosecution.

    I have no intention of surrendering my…well, you know.

  7. thanks for the comments folks…i’m just not up for jakoff wars tonight or i would regale you with wondrous stories of past masturbation adventures that will be ogne if this war on beating it gets going

  8. Bloggernista says:

    I’m just saying that the mere mention of Ron Paul and masturbation in the same post has made me a little queasy. I am going to go back to watching guys beat the crap out of each other MMA style on YouTube.

  9. hi bloggernista…which explains my shame at having posted it.

    thanks for coming by

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