let’s schmooze the news

Haven’t done this in a week or so.  I’ve been to busy writing about inane crap to contemplate writing about the truly banal baloney…

well the iraqi parliament is leaving on their August hiatus.   Like our congress, their vacation is far more important to them than their people are.  What I really like is the almost afterthought at the bottom.


So much for honor amongst thieves.  Michael Vicks co-conspirator is singing like a canary.  It looks bad for Michael, but we shouldn’t rush to judgement.  We should casually walk to it, as casually as he abused these dogs.


The Elect Billary campaign is insulted by the fashion article about ms. hillary’s cleavage.  Like its a bad thing.  Trust me hillary, you want me looking at your breasts and not listening to your words. Oh who am i kidding…I’m a nancy’s jugs guy anyway.  Hillary couldn’t get my vote if she did a cirque du soleil act naked with the swedish bikini team.


There is a wind blowing in from Iowa, and it’s going to save us all.  Smells like asswind to me, but if the DOW hits 17,000 like they suggest they need to turn their attention to a problem with global ramifications…roscoe’s attitude.


your asshole is on my facebook.  Just go read it.  sexual predators are to easy a target, and I’m not in the mood for ez.


Well grease me up with butter and beat me with a horsewhip…a feel good news story on criminyjickets.  This one just made me smile.  No clues for you.  duh, look at the link before you go if you’re that curious.


I bet it doesn’t pass, but here’s another honest government bill.  The only thing I don’t like is it doesn’t say the lawmakers name will be publicized with his earmark, and I think that would be a deterrant.  It does make it tougher to keep an unrelated earmark in a bill though.


You go Rosie.  I still think you’re a pig, but this was class all the way.


HoBama?  I like it.  Their little fued is going to distance them from the rest of the candidates, and just a coupleweeks after I said they would be the ticket for the dems, Newt Gingrich agreed.  We should maybe do the butter/horsewhip thing again here.


ok, that doesn’t even scratch the surface, but I’m hiking slagcaster moulds up steps tomorrow, and I wish to go lie down and hate the idea of that for awhile.  I didn’t mention the depths of human depravity stories I found.  Lots of murder and death today.   lot of  dead children.  Sorta ruins the mood.

15 Responses to let’s schmooze the news

  1. Wheezler says:

    I fear there is something amiss with your link to a Rosie story.

  2. hi wheezler…sorry about that. I’ll try to fix it.

  3. Conundrum says:

    I’m going to try that meditation thing to see if I can make my tired-ass stock portfolio rise up to 17000 with the fine folks who are transmeditating our economy. I’m surprised Mr. Greenspan didn’t join them years ago.

    I wonder if I have to put my legs behind my head for that meditation or if the lotus position would do? Maybe just pushing back in my recliner with a nice chilled glass of chardonnay would do it.

  4. I’m almost certain nothing shy of being able to lick your own colon will generate the necessary mind waves…let me know how it goes.

  5. Conundrum says:

    If I could lick my own colon, I’m sure I could earn millions in porn films and then I wouldn’t give a shit…er…ah…give a damn about the meditators.

    Plus I’m sure I would suddenly be very popular at parties.

  6. you have to go check out the link i’m about to post Con. If you haven’t seen this you will thank me profusely

  7. Conundrum says:

    Reading the Rosie item reminds me that a neighbor recently mentioned that she is annoyed that the infamous Dr. Neil Clark Warren won’t allow gays to use E-Harmony.com.

    How foolish of him. Think of all those high-income no-child-care-expense folks looking for love who could and would pay those fees.

    Makes me wonder if he is a misguided money-grubbing businessman whose financial greed is blinded by his bible-thumping ways.

    Maybe Baba Wawa can get him to appear on The View and quiz him mercilously until he admits he is either a homophobe or a nazi…or both??

  8. i saw something about that. I remember thinking it was almost as ridiculous as our entire government struggling as to whether gays should be equal or not.

    I hate to sound stupid, but it’s really not their call.

  9. Conundrum says:

    Ah – the amazing “Sanctity of Marriage” debate.

    For a long time I was so confused about the”‘Marylou and Harold Gunches’ of the world being so agitated that their marriage would be meaningless if Bruce and Steve next door were allowed to marry.

    Then I realized that gays and lesbians are the only Americans against whom it is still legal to discriminate…plus the bible-thumpers and the GOP crowd need a common enemy to bring them together. The nazi’s had the jews and the radical-christians of America have those damn homosexuals.

    I bet if the gays could marry they might change that 50% divorce rate by a percentage or two and that would just embarrass Leroy and Gertrude to no end.

    And don’t even get me started on the utter stupidity of “don’t ask, don’t tell”. If someone is patriotic enough and so inclined to defend our country, then damn well let them.
    I truly could not care less who they sleep with when they are off-duty. I understand that most industrialize nations of the earth have no such anti-gay restrictions and all goes well.

  10. i concur with all that except the part about the only ones we can discriminate against…we can dog the shit out of hillbillies any time we want and nobody says anything, and if you think you can’t be discriminated against, light up a smoke. *L*

  11. Conundrum says:

    Oh, there is a whole bunch of discrimination out there but most of it is illegal – and – legal discrimination was my point.

    I’ll have to think about the hillbilly angle. I’m not exactly sure how to research that because with the Beverly Hillbillies all dead, I’m not sure who wants to claim to be a hillbilly – who do I turn to for the perspective of that group?

  12. go to kentucky and ask the first person not wearing shoes…or you could check out the blue collar comedy tour

  13. Conundrum says:

    So Crimmy

    Living as I do in DC – your nation’s capital, I am perfectly positioned to enjoy my existence as a news-junkie.

    Today when the reports were swirling about concerning chief justice roberts collapsing with a seizure at his summer home in Maine, the local reporters were standing in front of the Supreme Court reporting that Mr. Roberts was seen foaming at the mouth when loaded into the ambulance.

    I suppose I don’t know too much about seizures but I’ve never read that foaming of the mouth is a regular symptom.

    I’m conflicted about this – Do I want him to go kaput now with W able to nominate his replacement (albeit with the “other” perty controlling Senate for confirmation) or hope he lingers on until the next president is in place hoping it is someone with enough intelligence to choose someone more to my liking.

    I’m very unhappy with a Supreme Court that doesn’t believe that their is a right to privacy.

    This is one of Connundrum’s connundrums.

  14. Conundrum says:

    Isn’t the blue-collar comedy tour mostly about rednecks rather than hillbillies? I don’t know, I’m just asking.

    Ah – Reminds me of the probing question – the guy in kentucky writes a letter to “Dear Abby” to ask, if my wife and I get a divorce, will she still be my sister?

    Or the other question:

    What do a hurricane in Texas, a tornado in Kansas and divorce in Kentucky have in common?

    A: Somebody’s losing a trailer.

  15. hi Con….I’m a huge fan of linger on since wishing for someones demise (not counting ex’s) is simply not cricket. Besides, foaming at the mouth is entertaining, and the ourt can use a little color.

    or the definition of a kentucky virgin…an ugly 8 year old that can outrun her brothers.

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