The retardation conflagration

  I haven’t been here much this week.  It’s been a bear, and we’ll leave that right there.

I’m a little curious as to how it is that the only thing  CNN and FOXNEWS can agree on is that one sad, closeted, gay senior citizen Senator should resign.  I’ll grant that it kind of gives me the willies that he felt a mens room was the place to look for sex, but if blowjobs from an employee (unpaid) in the oval office are ok, I’m not sure I find playing footsie with an undercover cop all that vile. 

   Oh my god.  The U>N> has weapons of mass destruction.  I think that we should perform a preemptive strike against the bastards.  We could call it shock and awe, and everyone could stay up to the wee hours of the morning cheering as we bomb the dogshit out of new york. 

author’s note:  I said that in jest, but the more I think about it the more I like the idea.

Now Silicone Valley has decided that unemployed American workers are so en vogue that they are going to ship manufacturing jobs overseas.  I wonder if these assclowns have stopped to consider that once all our jobs are over there, we won’t have any money to buy the substandard products they are pushing over here.

  A Colorado school has banned tag on its playgrounds because of student complaints of harassment.  About the only kind thing I can say about how we as a society are raising our snotnosed, whineassed,  pussified children is that I’m glad I’ll be dead before they are old enough to become good little muslims.

   Fred thompson has decided to finally show his ass, I meant cards, and enter the fray.  I’m not sure if he is entering because the opposition seems so weak, or if he really thinks he can win, but let’s get real.  The electorate is as smart as a house plant, and you know what that means.  Ron Paul baby…he’s the man.  I’m thinking about coming out with my endorsement of the Ron Paul insanity…er I mean campaign soon.

   What’s with  all the feigned surprise?  The chinese own more of the Democratic party than they do the island of Hawaii.  They’ve been buying the Clinton’s for so long the only question seems to be why don’t they stay bought?  Face it, if it would get her elected Hillary would hit her knees in the middle of Tianamen Square and wouldn’t get up until the last Wang was pleasured.

    Ron Paul had about 1500 people at his come one come all birthday Bar-b-q, incest fest, and Militia sign up.  We get that many at our block parties, and all we promise is free booze.  I guess promising freedom isn’t exactly the same as granting it.

  ok, that’ll do.  I left out the Austrian teen trying long pig, the mother who gave birth at McDonalds and trying to flush the baby down the toilet, the mathematical explanation for Jessica Alba’s sexiness, and the two Corey’s, because I fear actual medical conditions are apparent.

Followers of Ron Paul unite, at Braden’s

     The following of Ron Paul has always been part of the issue with me.  I try not to associate with nutjobs, whacko’s and knaves.  Lately it seems I’ve been running in to a high number of not only literate, but intelligent, and welll intentioned people who support him.  This is good, and I’ve tempered my attacks on the pauliacs.  Then I went by Braden’s to stomp him inot the verbal mud for alleging I’m a neo-con.  Talk about fighting words.  While I was there I read the always insightful work he had posted, and then the comments that followed it.  I am now fully aware of what exit all the nutjobs took.  That brodie fellow can make you positively vibrate with his banal take on …well, appparently whatever he’s talking about.

   I also got several hits from stormwatch.com.  You should check out the site.  It was…..ummmmm…..reason to shower.  Hard to make a president without some whacko’s showing up, but the herd has turned out in full force on this campaign.  Good luck Dr. Paul, and keep that firearm handy…you’re in strange company now.

The day in pictures…or not

   Because it happened to be occurring at the time I generally rise anyway, I slipped on some shorts and wandered barefoot over to the golf course to check out the moon.  I’d received a text message telling me I ought, and had decided last night if I didn’t wake up late I would.  this is what happens when you ignore your instincts.  The text message was from an ex and said something about “go look at the fucking moon asshole” or some such.

    My heart was warmed by this poignant prompting, and being obstinate I almost went and took a good healthy shit in rememberance of the relationship.  Instead, because I actually wanted to see it I did so.  It was a moon.  It was hard to see because it was in its fully eclipsed phase, and as noted at 6 a.m.,  blue.  As I was returning to the house I noticed something dark on the steps.  It wasn’t big enough to be a corpse, so with my disappointment already upon me, I tried to make out what it was.

   It was a cat.  A kitten rather.   A furry little puntable puffball of a kitten.  I’m not a cat fan.   I nudged it with my foot to push it off the steps, and the feral little fuck reared back and hissed at me.  In the best of times I’m not a particularly pleasant person, and in the morning I make Genghis Kahn look like a girl scout.   Had this thing been human it would’ve been soundly smited and sent packing.  Since it wasn’t, I went ahead up the steps and into the house.  My screen door tends to close at whatever speed the wind dictates, and I’m not particularly inclined to turn and close doors.  They close or they don’t, it’s all up to them.

   When I finished the morning blurb, bath, and beyond I returned to the living room to do the animal things.  Water the dog, feed the dog, water the rabbit, feed the rabbit, water the cat….what the hell is that thing doing in here?  Apparently the cursed little dung beetle had followed me in, and was all curled up next to Roscoe.  I reached down with ill intent, but as i tried to return it to its natural habitat (anywhere but my home) Roscoe started grunting at me.  Not his high pitched I want to bump uglies with your ankle growl, but rather these almost nurturing sounds.  I took a closer look at the kitten, and noticed that it was that blueish black color.  I like to think of it as necrotic.

    Each time I tried to extricate the kitten from Roscoe’s clutches he started with the grunting nonsense.  I decided to hell with it and went to work, where around nine a.m. I broke my finger, and just after lunch pulled a muscle in my chest.  Add to this the determination as to when I would take my forklift training, and the general all around ignorance of the workforce, and it was not a good day.  I did get the east end of the baghouse done, so at least it was productive.

    I drove home in one of them funks that has you cussing at everyone going slower than you for being an idiot, and everyone going faster than you for being a maniac.  Don’t lie…you’ve been there.  I’d forgotten about the cat.  Apparently he had forgotten about me as well, for when I walked in and headed for my flop zone the mangy little hair merchant was on my couch.  I didn’t see him, and the yowl eminating from him when my oversized ass landed on his microscopic body was in direct contradiction to the laws of probability.  It rattled the windows.  I was fairly impressed.

     Cats,  being spawns of satan, are incredibly hard to damage, and this one wasn’t injured.  I still felt bad, so I let it hang around.  Then my daughter came in.  Squealing with delight she snatched it up , and spent the next several hours doing the can we keep it thing.

   I now have a cat.  I blame it for the eclipse, the finger, and any other damn thing that went wrong today anywhere on the planet.   It’s name is general Tso’s kitten.  laugh fuckers.  The first time I smell cat in my house it will be general tso’s kitten, and my daughter will be in a convent.  

   

6 a.m. hateful

heard the phrase once in a blue moon?  well,  it’s fucking blue.

and you slept through it.  dipshit

more sex in the news

you west coasters  are pagans or heathens anyway so here’s a bonafide opportunity to get naked and jump in a pile.  Nothing like a lunar event.

what kind of an idiot tries to pass off fake bills in a strip club?  Like women who get paid via the tried and true methood called “tucking” aren’t going to recognize the feel of fake money?

 ahhhhhh, panda sex…it doesn’t get any better than this.  This girl failed to get another girl panda pregnant…awwww read it…its good stuff.

what would sex in the news be without a large cock?  No not a male chicken you dolt. 

I would suppose that guys coupling would count as gay sex.  Noy as glitzy as brokeback mountain, but interesting. 

cool…CBN brings us how to stay married to that adulterous scum spouse of yours.  Nothing like christians to teach you how to fix your sin filled life.

have fun….if you were looking for porn.  Tough

Ron Paul Campaign Reality Check

   Feeling a little froggy over there in Dr. Paul ville?  You have a few straw polls under your belt, the meetup groups are burgeoning, and he just had a birthday.  Let me put you in touch with some numbers you need to know.

The first one is you have not more than 6 months until this is over.  Since I’d rather not listen to you snivel about how you were robbed I’d also like to point out these numbers.  These a re the numbers it took to win each state in 2000.  Many of them of course are skewed because everyone drops out once its obvious who the winner is going to be, but these are still big numbers.

   Internet support is solid…you are still looking for that magic million, but even if you get to it, that’s only 20,000 per state on average.  Your meetup groups are tracking maybe as high as 50,000 members nation wide.  Thats 1000 per state on average.  Most states will require at least 100,000 votes to win. 

  In other words, you aren’t even close, and based on what I can see your numbers aren’t climbing fast enough to get you anywhere close.  You need more money, more advertising, more phone calls, and more reason if you hope to compete.

So get out of that armchair, put down the mac-10 and hit the streets.  You still have a lot of work to do.

Do not Tap your foot in the restroom at the airport.

  This is hilarious.  Senator larry craig is apparently light in the loafers.  He was tapping his foot, and got arrested for lewd behaviour.  Apparently tapping your foot in a mens restroom means you want a little man love.  I suppose it could also mean you have a song going through your head.  Another pervie senator…who knew.

You should stop and taste the flowers

   Carmine had a bad day.  Not horrific, but not good.  What he needed was to go for a walk.

As he strolled along the canal at twilight, he noticed a young lady bending over on the path ahead.

He asked her what she was doing.  She replied that she was smelling the flowers.  It’s always good to stop and smell the flowers.

Amused, Carmine smiled at the woman , and then with a cavalier bow bent and…

woke, laying in a mulch bed.  His wallet missing, his head throbbing, and the taste of rose petals in his teeth.

Carmine was having a bad day

16 years of scandal; maybe its time for Ron Paul

   The never ending treadmill of scandal has finally claimed Alberto Gonzales.  An honest to god rags to riches story, he is now naught but fodder for the uninspired inanities of career corruption facilitators Patrick Leahy (D-Vt) and Harry Reid (D-Nev).  If you add in the smarm merchant John Edwards, it has to be a devestating blow for Gonzales.  To be trivialized by a bunch of scoundrels who lack the ability to think on their own is surely a long drop from  being considered for a Supreme Court job, and being selected as the Attorney General.

   It doesn’t take a huge helping of intellect to understand that this is just partisan politics.  Congress never even bothered to name what it was that Mr. Gonzales did that would amount to wrongdoing, because in point of fact, they can’t prove he did anything wrong.  These same pontificating lackwits stood mute during the FBI file scandal, and the white House post office scandal during the Clinton administration, where not only wrongdoing did occur, but proof of said wrongdoing was available.

   I guess the question is whether the electorate is tired of supporting one band of rogues at the expense of another.  Neither major political party has moral standing, and integrity is a punchline for both.  They have spent the past 16 years making themselves and their friends richer while America languishes in every major economic category except the stock market, where the rich like to play.  Ineptitude and malfeasance have become the rule of law on capital hill, and Harry Reid is a known participant.  It’s a shame that he maintains his seat while a man trying to do what he thought was right for America goes home in disgrace.  I guess if Alberto needs consolation he at least has that.  That he at least tried to do what he believed to be right.  The slatterns nipping at his heels lo these many weeks know that they are not doing what is right for the country, and they don’t care.

   If there is one thing that would get me to vote Ron Paul this may well be it.  The major parties are too corrupt to trust America’s future to, and any who think otherwise are either mentally challenged or unaware of the depth of the larceny being perpetrated.  I believe that if Ron Paul were elected we would at least in the executive branch experience honest government for a change.  Not necessarily successful government, but honest none the less.

   It’s another sickening day for Americans.  A good man was dragged down like a wolf by feral dogs, and we are worse for it happening.  Those of you supporting these two parties are as much to blame for whats wrong with America as the parties themselves.  You lack the intestinal fortitude to  say “my party is wrong,” and instead spend your time looking outward, ignoring the enemy within.  We have less to fear from Jihadists than we do from Democrats and Republicans. 

Try and prove me wrong on that.  All the data is on my side.

Ron Paul on Aging infrastructure

  Lew Rockwell.com has a piece by Ron Paul on our aging infrastructure.  He doesn’t mention pigeon poop, which is highly acidic and may have contributed to the collapse, but he does mention some things that are a little troubling.  It’s true that our highway system has some issues, and actions are already being implemented to address these issues.

     I guess the most bothersome thing about this article is it’s timing.  Let’s just pluck the flavor of the day from the tree, and blame everyone else for what’s happening.  The fact is maintaining the highway system is incredibly expensive, and tax revenues alone are not up to the challenge.  Much of the system is over 40 years old, and decrying “ribbon cutting” as the cause for its condition is verging on scandalous.  While its true that the occassional bridge to nowhere ends up on a budget, the vast majority of highway dollars are spent on…well…highways.  If you don’t believe me when is the last time you went anywhere and weren’t hampered by road construction?  These projects aren’t cheap, and recent efforts to tie in private enterprise is showing promise, as will an increase in the gas tax.

   The Trans Texas Corridor section of the article is downright erroneous, and goes against some of his most prominent beliefs.  This is a case of state government and free markets working together to improve the quality of life from a safety and economic standpoint.  It has nothing to do with NAFTA, as Cinta is a Spanish based company.  His allegation that this is phase one of a NAFTA Superhighway is unsubstantiated, and therefore political rhetoric.

   What is factual is that this route doesn’t pass through Ron Paul’s districts, as one of the alternate route’s (I-69) did.   This means no revenue from the Trans Texas Corridor will directly affect his district, and in light of the fact that he sought funding for I-69 as recently as this year, it would not be a huge leap of logic that Ron Paul is unhappy with the route.

   Further Cinta is not only paying for a massive section of the corridor, (the section they will receive toll revenue from), but is also required to maintain it.  This while splitting toll revenue with the state on a sliding scale that will reach 50% prior to the end of the contract.  If someone offered to build you a businesss, maintain it, and give you half the proceeds, would you feel it was a bad deal?  Thought not.

   This article may be the first time I’ve ever felt Ron Paul was not only wrong, but hypocritical.  His free market stance and strong state government position is a matter of public record.  But calling for government oversight seems to be more big government interjection in a state issue.  Why is Ron Paul making unsubstantiated allegations, and calling for federal oversight of a state issue?  Maybe because like one of my readers once said, Ron Paul is for his freedom, and against mine.