There was a great road rage incident today out by the airport. I wasn’t in it, but had the good fortune of being right behind it. It’s kind of a funny road. It’s a T with a split in it, and it carries 3 lanes of traffic that split again about 1/2 a block north. The cars come together there all the time, but I’ve yet to be stopped by an accident. On the way to work two cars did the swerve thing, and came close enough together that they both ended stalled right in the middle of the road. This incredibly stout woman in the passenger seat of the one car screams out the window “you should learn how to drive.” In the other car is a runtish man of about 90 that can probably see just a little between the top of the steering wheel and the dashboard. The litte guy had moxie though, and he yelled back ” you should learn to shut your coc&$ucker.”
Well I was just tickled as shit. The mornings have been rough lately, and entertainment on the way to work is a good thing. I’ve been scowling a lot lately, and a nice little altercation between inept motorists was just what the doctor ordered.
It gets better. This woman gets beet red, and lumbers out of her car. She struggles to achieve a totally erect position, but I have to tell you she was as imposing as a grizzly when she did. So I’m thinking “this is to good to be true…I’m going to get to watch a little old man get the supreme crap kicked out of him by a semiambulatory behemoth of a woman.” So, I shut the car off, and I pull a Dew out of the cooler. Then this crazy wench does the strangest thing…
She reaches in between the two largest breasts I’ve ever seen. I’m almost sure they had their own gravity and were orbiting around her. She pulls out this gargantuan crucifix and starts praying for the dude.
If she prayed for him to start his car up and drive away while calling her a “loony B1tch” her prayers were answered. I’m not so much for the praying, but if divine intervention placed me right there, right then, I’ll happily kiss gods ass for at least a month of sundays.