The Democratic Debate on ABC (obfuscation central)

August 19, 2007

  If I held up an apple, and said “what is this?” would you say apple, or would you answer with a discussion on the origins of the apple, the evilness of the individual that created the apple, and what you’re going to do about the apple?  See, all I want to know is what it is, but if you add enough dross to the conversation I may be confused enough to not realize that you don’t know what an apple is.

    While the Republicans express their desire to make sure all American’s speak English, the Democrats are trying to prove that English comprehension is unnecessary in the leader of the “free world.”  I think it’s quite possible that they are drunk on the heady wine that is victory 14 months early, and don’t feel a need to respond to the questions that are asked.  I know if my children answered questions the way this pack of over-educated nitwits do they’d be grounded until the second coming.

   Thats probably a good standard to set while watching these things.  “Would I accept that sort of answer from my child.” I’m a fairly gentle fellow, but I think if John Edwards talked over me the way he did Stephanopolous I’d take him out behind the barn, and see if he really remembers his roots in the textile mill.

   Faux Bonhomie does not an informative debate make, and the inability to directly challenge the viewpoints of their fellow nominees is becoming bothersome.  While they all do resemble each other on the issues, the fact is their are differences and it is cowardly not to stand up and describe your opponent as erroneous if you think they are.  Cowardice…write that down…it may well be a new standard for being elected to the presidency.

John Edwards failed to answer any questions that were asked of him without additional prompting, and it’s probably best that he didn’t.  I think his coffee this morning was of the Irish variety, and he appeared decidedly unpresidential.  I know that his campaign is struggling, but the Eddie Haskell oiliness isn’t going to help resuscitate it.  If this were baseball, he was wiffing at bad pitches.

    Whoa, how’d Hillary lose ten years?  It wasn’t just the beige pantsuit, she had a whole lot of lines missing from that mug of hers.  She looked, dare I say it…radiant.  Probably botox.  If it was makeup her face would have resembled a pancake being cooked on a horizontal surface by the end.  Her smoke and mirrors act worked very well when confronted by her high negative numbers, and all things considered she’s still the cream of this objectionably average crop.

Mike Gravel:  something has happened to this guy.  I think it could be alzheimers.  He used to be funnily relevant, now he’s just sad.

Dennis Kucinich:  He’s the genuine article.  He confronts each issue head on, and in this field that makes him unique.  Apparent;y he’s also mildly retarded, and would advance his cause best by not telling people to much about what he is thinking.

Bill Richardson:  He tries to play Washington outsider, but the fact is you don’t become a senior diplomat without riding a lot of jock , and owing a lot of favors.  Nothing in his agenda sounds reasonable or feasible.  It is fun to watch that big fat neck waddle sway as he talks though.

Chris Dodd:  The high point of his debate was when the fly walked on his starched hair at the end.  I’m being serious.  Another no hoper looking for a worthy exit.

Joe Biden:  I like Joe, but his ire doesn’t get up before noon, and it put him at a decided disadvantage.  He’s just not as inviting when he isn’t railing against the machine.   He’s still the guy for me, but he has no hope.

On the issues:

Health care…I’m not sure what they are thinking, but it’s certainly not how can we pay for this.

education…  No support for setting standards for teaching.  This hearkens back to the no accountability Democratic party of yesteryear, and all that stood for crumbled into dust in less than half a century.   We hold dishwashers accountable for making clean dishes, we should hold teachers accountable for creating students that can at least read and write.  We’re not asking for astrophysicists, just peole who can count change and balance a damn checkbook.  pathetic stance by all.

Iraq War:  there was so much equivocation on this issue that I’m beginning to think someone set these people down and explained to them the global ramifications of the current conflict.  For the most part, they intend to withdraw slowly….verrrrrrrrrrry slowly.  The only thing I’m absolutely certain of is  that if liberal voters use Iraq as a benchmark they are going to be sorely disappointed in our next president, regardless of party affiliation.   One more thing, a quick quiz…who was the last democratic president to get us out of a war?  Who was the last to get us into one? chuckle…I love that…liberal warmongers.

I left out Barack above because I wanted my feelings on his position to be seperate from the rest.  Do not make a back of the bus analogy.  I think he is onto something, that though the others toy with incessantly, they never put it all the way into play.  Barack appears to be the one who understands just how incredibly ignorant the voting public is concerning world events.  He gets that they don’t understand why he is wrong, so he can feel free to continue being wrong to his hearts content.  He’s planning on skipping most debates and forums between now and the primaries, which will sorely limit peoples ability to question his message.  Smart move barack.  When you seek the dummy vote, promise anything, and explain nothing.  Kudos to your campaign planners.

   As a group they look very confident, and why not?  They are so far out in front they’ve practically slipped into pep rally mode. 

Unless it happened in the first few minutes I heard nothing about immigration reform.

“we’re out of gas”

August 19, 2007

  Thats what he said.  Actually, what he said in its entirity was “hey dad we were on the way to this party and were out of gas can you bring us some.”

So, he needs gas to convey himself to a party that he never would’ve bothered mentioning to me if he had not run out of gas.

so i took him some gas.  Him is my son, btw.  and his hippie buddy will.  Upon further conversing, I learn that this is a girls birthday party and there won’t be any drinking or dope smoking.  Of course.  There was never any drinking or dope smoking at the parties I went to at his age.  It did bother me though that he offered the information.  I noticed he didn’t say there wouldn’t be any heroin shooting, coke freebasing, or animal sacrificing.

I’m old and therefore stupid so I wasn’t surprised when he came to borrow money from me because they were going to play poker.  thats a clever euphemism for “I need to buy a dime” I think. Puff puff pass, buttmunch….er…check check fold. Whatever.

   It doesn’t bother me that they think I’m stupid, but the fact they think i was born 45 years old is a bit of a bummer.  I thought I taught them better than that.  Never underestimate anyone. 

I gave him the ten bucks on the off chance it wasn’t for dope.  Besides, he’d of fronted the shit and had Bruno the killer pot dealer chasing him if it was and i didn’t give him the loot.

Teenagers suck.

uh oh…a sex post

August 19, 2007

I’m going to hell.  It’s a sure thing.  I’ve failed to ask forgiveness for having premarital sex, and that my friends is a sin.  Toss in an almost guaranteed ( I have no absolute proof they were married)  tryst or two on the wrong side of the adultery edict, and I’m almost surely headed for an eternal stint in the brimstone conflagration.

At least so say the Christians.  The Muslims on the other hand would have already sent me off to my ignominious perpetual damnation beneath a hail of rather hard rocks. They are not quite so enlightened as the just barely fell out of the evolutionary tree god worshipers.  They still have the eye for an eye and a rock for a stiff cock theory to overcome, and they’re far to busy trying to blow up Christians to get past it.

The Talmud is much easier on me.  thank god for those little Jewish bastards.  I’m allowed to hump any woman I want.  They could be kind of rough on the woman though.  In olden times she was even an adulteress if she had sex with anyone but her husbands brother after he perished.  Not the brother you sicko, the husband.  One more of those areas of life where you just kinda look to the heavens and be thankful you have that extra appendage.

oh my god…I’m researching this as i go…so that was an earnest oh my god of astonishment right there.  These asshole Hindu’s are going to make me come back as a creeping bug, after they make me die early.   Fornicating and adultery both fall under the lewdness clause of the holy scriptures ,so Instead of coming back as an inedible cow I get to be a termite.  They’re just jealous because they have small Indian penis.

whew, finally…a little relief.  The Taoists find my lewd and lascivious activities to be atrocious as well, but they aren’t going to punish me. They are going to lecture me onerously instead.  passage after stultifying  passage against the anomaly that is lewd behavior.

Is Buddhism really a religion? it looks like just a way for one Buddhist to keep score of how much more perfect he is than another Buddhist…who cares…no punishment for having sex.  I am now a Buddhist

So tell me, how did sex get to be so dirty?  I don’t think adultery is a bad thing.  least if you don’t get caught, or let your guilty conscience talk you into a confession.  Of course I’m not married.

there…a sex post…blow me.

Ron Paul wins Alabama and New Hampshire straw polls

August 19, 2007

  And he won them huge with 81% and 73% percent of the vote.  Mitt Romney came in second, and everyone else pretty much failed to show.  It looks like Ron Paul is starting to flex that vaunted internet grassrooots muscle his supporters have been talking about.

   Sure, get real.  The two polls between them had less than 500 voters, and at least one of them was a taxpayers organization picnic. I can’t seem to find what the event was in Alabama so I’ll surmise it was the annual incest, beer, and bar b q get together at the Hog Waller saloon.

   These tiny straw polls work well for a grassroots organization.  It’s easy for the average militia or right to life group to overpower the vote tally just by getting blood reletives involved.  I’m not trying to denigrate the victories, but I’m curious as to why the awesome change in direction the campaign has taken since Iowa.  If numbers are to be believed Ron Paul is now enjoying a surprising polularity cushion over second place also ran Mitt.

The contestants had this to say:

   It’s rumored that Mitt, while in his  cups down at the leather room in Mistress Trina’s House of Worship was heard to

exclaim ruefully “all it takes is free food to get Ron Paul’s bloggers to vote.”

  A representative for the Tancredo camp, appearing to suffer from shock stated “To hell with Iran.  We should nuke Alabama. I’ve never seen more house shoes and mumu’s, and less teeth in my entire life.”

Fred Thompson:  In what appears to be a Christian Coalition inspired hypnotic trance “Straw polls are bad law and bad medicine.”

Mike Huckabee:  while sucking his thumb “but god’s supposed to be on my side, what a gyp.”

Rudy Giuliani:  “you mean I kissed all these dirty smelly little peasants for nothing”

so there you have it.  Todays straw poll with just the hint of reality they deserve.