uh oh…a sex post

I’m going to hell.  It’s a sure thing.  I’ve failed to ask forgiveness for having premarital sex, and that my friends is a sin.  Toss in an almost guaranteed ( I have no absolute proof they were married)  tryst or two on the wrong side of the adultery edict, and I’m almost surely headed for an eternal stint in the brimstone conflagration.

At least so say the Christians.  The Muslims on the other hand would have already sent me off to my ignominious perpetual damnation beneath a hail of rather hard rocks. They are not quite so enlightened as the just barely fell out of the evolutionary tree god worshipers.  They still have the eye for an eye and a rock for a stiff cock theory to overcome, and they’re far to busy trying to blow up Christians to get past it.

The Talmud is much easier on me.  thank god for those little Jewish bastards.  I’m allowed to hump any woman I want.  They could be kind of rough on the woman though.  In olden times she was even an adulteress if she had sex with anyone but her husbands brother after he perished.  Not the brother you sicko, the husband.  One more of those areas of life where you just kinda look to the heavens and be thankful you have that extra appendage.

oh my god…I’m researching this as i go…so that was an earnest oh my god of astonishment right there.  These asshole Hindu’s are going to make me come back as a creeping bug, after they make me die early.   Fornicating and adultery both fall under the lewdness clause of the holy scriptures ,so Instead of coming back as an inedible cow I get to be a termite.  They’re just jealous because they have small Indian penis.

whew, finally…a little relief.  The Taoists find my lewd and lascivious activities to be atrocious as well, but they aren’t going to punish me. They are going to lecture me onerously instead.  passage after stultifying  passage against the anomaly that is lewd behavior.

Is Buddhism really a religion? it looks like just a way for one Buddhist to keep score of how much more perfect he is than another Buddhist…who cares…no punishment for having sex.  I am now a Buddhist

So tell me, how did sex get to be so dirty?  I don’t think adultery is a bad thing.  least if you don’t get caught, or let your guilty conscience talk you into a confession.  Of course I’m not married.

there…a sex post…blow me.

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2 Responses to uh oh…a sex post

  1. I thought you claimed to be a virgin.

    You want fornication-friendly religion? Come to The Church of the Kneeling Virgin. We’ll blow you.

    away.

    And btw, if sex isn’t dirty, you’re not doing it right.

    😉

  2. give me a few minutes and ill find a way to get this to jibe with my earlier claims to virginity.

    thinks

    calls John Edwards

    hi kate…good to see you

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