more search engine terms.

  Haven’t done these in awhile.  Not for any reason, but I figure you deserve to know how people get here.  You read this schlock, now its time to find out which paths brought you to Criminies house of inane.

1.  what is a spooge monkey  –  Believe me when i tell you had I seen this one before I started the whole post would’ve been about it.

2.  Max Adams  –  proving that Max is more famous than I.  I get a Max Adams hit every day or so.  I think they’re looking for her ghost story, which I just linked you with part 2 of.  Yes, I could have linked you to part 1, but I’m not in the mood to make anything easy for anyone right now.

3.  He can convince anyone of anything  –  which links you directly to me…how cool is that?

4.  how to masturbate without touching  –  I’m virtually certain that though I am the worlds foremost authority on touchless masturbation  I have never written about it here. 

5.  abstinence diagram  –  I didn’t even know there was such a thing…a diagram for how not to do it…handy that.

6.  pendulous jugs   –   Bet they were upset when they got here instead of   I should do more nancy pelosi’s one quality feature posts i reckon.

7.   thongs of interest  –  I do one story about octogenarians wearing thongs and I’ll never live it down.

8.  how to pee  –  this goes in “I’d never think someone would need a search engine for this.”

9.  is obama part of skull and bones  –  He went to college? get outta town.

10.  hookers sucking dick  –  Swear to god, all you have to do is mention hookersi n one post and dick cheney in another, and voila…you get this stuff.

11.  because I said so lingerie  –  obviously looking for my retail site…you never looked so good as you would wearing your with footies criminy jicket teddy.

12.  rabbit lust  –  i get a lot of these…i know not why, but Roscoe is pushing for royalties.

13.  nuclear device advice  –  someone is obviously trying to get the feds to notice me…fuckers.

i left out most of the lust stuff…this isn’t a porn blog, and i left out most of the political ones, just cuz.

9 Responses to more search engine terms.

  1. Why you left out the dirty ones? Those are the best!
    We rarely get incoming searches that aren’t deliciously rude.
    spooge monkey!

  2. max says:

    “I get a Max Adams hit every day or so. ”

    I am sure you are exagerating. [smile]

  3. nope..sure am not…sometimes of course it will be max adams+diet coke+ roscoe or some such, but it’s pretty much everyday…you must get zillions

    oh, hi max…good to see yuh

  4. max says:

    “sometimes of course it will be max adams+diet coke+ roscoe”

    Criminy you know it does not count if they are your own searches, right?

  5. not so max…my searches are more along the lines of erotica+ Max Adams+ polar bears

    good to see you…hope you’re well

  6. max says:

    Jeez, those court records were supposed to be sealed.

  7. morning Max…it’s amazing what you can do with a $20 and a friendly smile.

  8. conundrum says:

    “I am the worlds foremost authority on touchless masturbation”

    You owe it all of us, for the future progression of perverted society as we know it’ to share this knowledge.

    Inquiring minds need to know. Well, ok, I need to know.

    Do you offer a seminar with sexy models, athletes, spokesmodels and such or just a set of dvd’s available only on an informercial at 3 AM aired in Guam?

    Call our toll-free number now and we’ll throw in a set of virtual condoms! But WAIT – There’s more. We’ll also provide a year’s supply of glow in the dark lube.

  9. guess you’ll be checking out flights to Guam.

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