The retardation conflagration

  I haven’t been here much this week.  It’s been a bear, and we’ll leave that right there.

I’m a little curious as to how it is that the only thing  CNN and FOXNEWS can agree on is that one sad, closeted, gay senior citizen Senator should resign.  I’ll grant that it kind of gives me the willies that he felt a mens room was the place to look for sex, but if blowjobs from an employee (unpaid) in the oval office are ok, I’m not sure I find playing footsie with an undercover cop all that vile. 

   Oh my god.  The U>N> has weapons of mass destruction.  I think that we should perform a preemptive strike against the bastards.  We could call it shock and awe, and everyone could stay up to the wee hours of the morning cheering as we bomb the dogshit out of new york. 

author’s note:  I said that in jest, but the more I think about it the more I like the idea.

Now Silicone Valley has decided that unemployed American workers are so en vogue that they are going to ship manufacturing jobs overseas.  I wonder if these assclowns have stopped to consider that once all our jobs are over there, we won’t have any money to buy the substandard products they are pushing over here.

  A Colorado school has banned tag on its playgrounds because of student complaints of harassment.  About the only kind thing I can say about how we as a society are raising our snotnosed, whineassed,  pussified children is that I’m glad I’ll be dead before they are old enough to become good little muslims.

   Fred thompson has decided to finally show his ass, I meant cards, and enter the fray.  I’m not sure if he is entering because the opposition seems so weak, or if he really thinks he can win, but let’s get real.  The electorate is as smart as a house plant, and you know what that means.  Ron Paul baby…he’s the man.  I’m thinking about coming out with my endorsement of the Ron Paul insanity…er I mean campaign soon.

   What’s with  all the feigned surprise?  The chinese own more of the Democratic party than they do the island of Hawaii.  They’ve been buying the Clinton’s for so long the only question seems to be why don’t they stay bought?  Face it, if it would get her elected Hillary would hit her knees in the middle of Tianamen Square and wouldn’t get up until the last Wang was pleasured.

    Ron Paul had about 1500 people at his come one come all birthday Bar-b-q, incest fest, and Militia sign up.  We get that many at our block parties, and all we promise is free booze.  I guess promising freedom isn’t exactly the same as granting it.

  ok, that’ll do.  I left out the Austrian teen trying long pig, the mother who gave birth at McDonalds and trying to flush the baby down the toilet, the mathematical explanation for Jessica Alba’s sexiness, and the two Corey’s, because I fear actual medical conditions are apparent.

11 Responses to The retardation conflagration

  1. Condundrum says:

    Yeah – Fred Thompson. Finally willing to show his cards. Let the feeding frenzy begin.

    I’m not sure the reality of Fred Thompson-Candidate will be as interesting or exciting as Fred Thompson-Tantalizing-Potential-Candidate.

    He’s really not Ronnie R reincarnated even though so many GOP’ers wish him to become their salvation in that way.

  2. The senator tapped an airport cop’s foot. He should be crucified!

    BTW: It is my understanding that the cop’s last name is John. Officer John, the toilet cop. This pleases me.

  3. hi Bagel…hard not to like the whole story. I guess the closets are deep in Idaho. The whole thing is so wrong from so many angles….THAT pleases me.

    hello con…it should add a level of entertainment that really hasn’t been there. Someone at least moderately not psychotic on the Republican ticket, wh’d of thunk

  4. Geezer says:

    As amusing as the idea of Officer John of the toilet detail sounds, it happens that his name is reported as Sgt. Dave Karsnia

    Sorry for raining on the parade.


  6. Geezer: In my reality, the cop is still named Office John, and you are fibbing.

    CJ: In my reality, I can have everything, because I am everything.

    I don’t know what any of that means. I’m sleepy and I’d like to go home now plz.

  7. you’ll go home when I untie you, and not until…you work nights or something bagel?

  8. If by ‘work nights’ you mean ‘are you a hot, spoiled trophy wife who doesn’t have to do a damned thing all day but get stoned and play on the internets’, then yes. I work nights.

  9. If by ‘are you a hot, spoiled trophy wife who doesn’t have to do a damned thing all day but get stoned and play on the internets’, you mean you are a ” dowdy floor scrubbing, sleeping alone while hubby is out of town with his much thinner sexretary. A lonely dildo driving slut who huffs paint from a baggy and hasn’t changed panties in a week cul de sac queen” then yeah that’s exactly what I mean.

  10. Ok, maybe…
    If you’ll grant that I’m too with it to huff something so pedestrian as paint.

    Jenkem FTW!

  11. somehow you’ve gotten the idea that it’s ok to make deals. this is a benevolent dictatorship at criminy’s…you huff paint…deal with it

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