campaign 2008 begins today

   Who knew.  You mean all this politicking was the pre-race race?  Nice to know we’re finally going to get down to business.  So how did your favorite candidate spend the first day of the race?

    Hillary did what any smart politician would do.  She broke out the big gun.  She took Bill to Iowa with her, and if anyone out there doesn’t think Bill Clinton could beat every assclown currently in the race, your dull normal credentials must be outstanding.

   John Edwards received the endorsement of two labor unions…the united mine workers and the united steel workers.  I’m a member of the United Steel Workers, and will end my political contribution to the union tomorrow. I will do everything I can to ensure that as few USW employees vote for this braindead piece of human waste as possible.

Ron Paul capped his big 3rd place finish in his home state with an announcement that his fans ruled the meeting, that he raised $100,000, and that as always Ron Paul was the only popular person there.  Sometimes making the stroking gesture with your hand is enough, but at times like this you just need to say…what the hell ever.  You have to love the spin control that this no hoper campaign has going on.  It is rumored that at this time he is laying in a fetal position with his own fecal matter smeared all over his dessicated ancient carcass, sucking his thumb and moaning.

Duncan Hunter  won in Texas.  According to the Ron Paul crybabies he cheated by campaigning there, and actually beating his holiness Pope Ron Pius the I.  Naturally Duncan will use this as an excuse to remain in a race he clearly has no hope of finishing better than 23rd in.

    Barack Obama spent the day attacking Hillary for being experienced.  I suppose if your experience level is still in the Lego’s phase, thats what you do.  I’m not trying to make it racial or anything, but isn’t there a black democrat with a brain that he doesn’t take out and play with available?

I’m not sure what the rest of them did, but one can hope they hung out with their families and acted like normal people for the last time in what could be 9 years.


3 Responses to campaign 2008 begins today

  1. “Duncan Hunter won in Texas”
    My father laughed when he heard the news and said, “No one showed up to that straw vote…” Hum.

    So right on with Bill. I’m sorry if this sounds all lefty but my life was good when Bill was in office.
    On the black democrat…can’t say I’m either left or right but I will be more than happy to take his place. There you have it. Black and female.

  2. hi arm. Based on his record as president I always assume that people that liked Bill are conservatives. He done much to enact the contract with America, weakened social programs across the board, and made big business think it was 8 years of Christmas.

    I liked him to, but it was mostly because a fat middle aged dude was pulling some serious pussy.

    I’ll vote for you. I think all the candidates suck ass.

  3. bhday says:

    I gotta admit, CJ, I’m growing increasingly despondent. I haven’t admitted it openly on my blog yet, but I think our nation is getting exactly what we deserve.

    I’ve tried to be all positive and so forth while talking to people about the insanity of our foreign policy, the economic “race to the bottom” we’re winning against our trading partners, and the way our insane government places corporate and special interests ahead of individual liberty and economic self-determination. But you know what? People just don’t get it.

    They either don’t see the problem yet, or they see the problem but fatalistically accept it. (Is that a word?)

    You know my favorite line? “It’s Biblical.” When I talk with someone about the wisdom of perpetuating pre-emptive wars halfway across the world: “It’s Biblical. We have to fight Islam.” When I talk with someone about the debasement of our currency and how our government’s fiscal insanity repels investment, destroys savings, and pushes us further towards a banana republic every day: “It’s Biblical. The Bible says we’re going to have one world currency.”

    OK, so let’s just sit back and patiently await The End Of The World As We Know It. I take some solace knowing that my portfolio is positioned to benefit from the uncertain times ahead, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to enjoy it.

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