I’m writing this for Con because he worries.

It’s been a busy couple of weeks.  I was contemplating my existence the other day over at O’malleys.  I was nursing a rum and coke because it beats slamming shots when you’re in a rut.  Slamming shots when you are in a rut almost always results in a felony or two, and getting them miraculously turned into misdemeanors isn’t cheap.

O’malleys is not Cheers.  O’malleys is Cheers amped up on reality and testosterone, and then inebriated beyond the point of reason.  Nobody yells “Hey Norm” when Norm walks in.  Half of them have kicked Norm’s ass, and the other half had theirs kicked by him.  It doesn’t mean they won’t buy Norm a drink, but they are neither happy nor sad to see him. O’malley’s Ambivalent Bar and Eatery. Except they don’t serve food. 

So I’m sitting there when Smiley Joe walks in.  Since creativity and drunkenness do not comingle, he is called Smiley Joe because he smiles all the time.  A tourist mistook this affability for weakness once, and was literally slapped silly for it.  Smiley was smiling the whole time.  He smiles a lot, but he’s nobodies punk.  I bought him a Jaegerbomb ( a strange concoction that mixes booze that tastes like castor oil with an energy drink that tastes like shit), and we talked about the mundane for awhile.

I’ll finish it later…i need sleep.  I work tomorrow and then head for Michigan.  My latest scheme to enable me to quit working is turning into an awful lot of work.


11 Responses to update

  1. conundrum says:

    Con is relieved. You are such a nice and considerate boy. What a good son you are.

    This is amusing, love the Ambivilent Bar and Eatery, and so tantizing we will be eagerly anticipating your return from Michigan…wait, you are in Indiana and Michigan is next door.

  2. max says:

    You know you would feel more perky if you voted in a fun hot hunks poll.

  3. Being a bartender these last fourteen years, the antisocialist will necessarily speak with a kind of authority on the subject — and he says, in no uncertain terms, that your assessment of the jagerbomb is breathtakingly accurate.

    Please let us no how your latest scheme works out for you. God speed.

    Best of all possible regards.

  4. “Since creativity and drunkenness do not comingle, he is called Smiley Joe because he smiles all the time.”


  5. andyfox1979 says:

    I’ve longed for a bar like Cheers or The Regal Beagle for some time now, but they don’t exist.

    Bars in real life are where people go when they want to get drunk and have sex with a stranger, not form lifelong friendships based on mutual alcohol dependence and ribald humor.

  6. andyfox1979 says:

    I never responded about you adding me to your blogroll… Please do.

    I’ve added you as well, which is bragable since I only have 15 or so on there.

    Good blog, sir.

  7. We miss you, CJ! You’ve not been playing in our sandbox lately!
    I think I may have just now done something to make you forget all about the cat grudge fest….
    Sorry, in advance

  8. hi:
    anita, and thank you…it’s been…ummmmm….wierd

    con…ye it is next door, but i’ve done 6 states in two weeks, plus pulled my shifts at work…michigan seemed a long ways off.

    max… I did your hot hunks poll…it didn’t work…in fact, that was atypically horrendous advice

    anti…it is working far to well…i’m going to halfass it for a bit and see if my norma state of lethargy returns.

    Bagel…I’m almost afraid to look…who am i kidding…I AM afraid to look

    andy…thats funny stuff…I’ll add you this week…

    good to see all of you

    yeah…even bagel

  9. How are things, CJ? You’re sincerely missed.

    Drop by sometime, if you have a spare moment, which you probably don’t.

    Meanwhile, keep on keeping on.

  10. Soylent Ape says:

    “My latest scheme to enable me to quit working is turning into an awful lot of work.”

    I can certainly relate to that.

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