the california republican debate

January 31, 2008

    Was absolutely unimportant.  Why?  Several reason, not the least of which is that John McCain can’t beat any of the remaining democratic candidates.  For that matter he couldn’t beat Al Franken.  He can’t even beat Al Franken in an honesty challenge.

     I don’t care for McCain.  I have a number of reasons for this.  I suppose #1 is that he represents the worst in what America is. Don’t believe me?  Let me cite a little public record for you.  If you think I’m making any of this up go see for yourself.

    He feels the most important thing he has ever done involved bombing the shit out of some people that at no time in their history ever threatened America.  Not just any people.   Third world people with no ability to defend themselves.  These people had to count on aid from China and the Soviet Union to have any hope against the far superior military technology of the United States.

   I’m not a particular fan of Hanoi Jane, nor having been a member  of the U.S armed forces do I find them reprehensible on any level.  I do however find myself disgusted by someone who failed miserably at his job claiming to be a hero.  Why do I say he failed?    Far less than 1% of sorties flown over North Vietnam ended in the pilot being shot down.  Therefore 99% + of all pilots were better at their jobs than this mullet, and you don’t see them running around begging people to recognize their heroism.  They came home, and with little fanfare went about resuming their lives.

    He’s a liar.  Consistently and on the public record the man lies and obfuscates in the hopes of being seen as better than his fellow man.   He doesn’t just lie, he twists the truth in such a way as to sway public opinion for his own benefit which I find particularly despicable in a public servant.  I think everyone else should lie a lot and with relish.  Want an example?

I’ll paraphrrase here because I’m way to lazy to look up the words of a man who lies consistently and for self aggrandizement.  If we leave Iraq without victory it will make our military look like failures.  Not so Jack…er….John.  It will make our politicians look like failures, and your own little war already proved to the world our politicians really don’t have the stomach for it.

    He’s a perpetual loser.  He has run for president more times than Jesse Jackson, and has never gotten a sniff.  He believes this isn’t because he’s a garrulous petulant little pain in the ass.  He believed so strongly that it was money alone that blocked him that he joined with Russ Feingold to create a finance reform plan that, while unconstitutional, was what he saw as his only hope to compete with people who were given money because people liked them.

He’s an elitist prick.  He smirks at Mitt Romeny for being a successful businessman( and other successful business people by proxy).  Yet at the same time he disdains anyone who isn’t a warmongering sycophant.  If you are not part of the John McCain fanclub you are unworthy to have an opinion, and again tonight he showed his disdain for any viewpoints but his own.  I hate that in a person.  Unless it’s me of course.  that was for you micky, you scumsucking retard.

   I guess probably what I hate most about him is his fossilized ass doesn’t have the grace to retire into obscurity.  He just keeps banging his little war tomtom.  Tonight, when asked why voters should consider him the best man to lead in regards to the economy, he immediately began reciting his war resume.  He claims a level of character he thinks none of us should dare aspire to, while flat out lying about Mitt Romney.  He well may be the most scurrilous politician of our time.

   Now, you wanna here what I like about John McCain?  I like how he is about to get his ass trounced by a girl in the general election.  He has taken advantage of the Republican parties historical “it is now your turn” style of choosing a candidate.  He won’t be able to benefit from that when his lack of ideas that coincide with what the voters want become exposed in the race for president.  Anyone who could start a debate in 2008 with “yes i think the american people are better off than they were 8 years ago” should be beaten with a bat until sanity returns.

   Nothing personal John.  You’re just a petulant little asshole who has been around so long nobody will call you on it.

Mitt:  you just look wrong, dude.  What common guy with a budweiser in his hand and his shrew of a wife cooking dinner barefoot in the kitchen could ever vote for someone with that perpetually pedantic look on their face.? I think you’d blow the rest away on the economy, except Ron Paul.  It’s not your turn Mitt…that’s why republicans keep showing you thier backsides.

Ron Paul:  I’m not sure why he wasn’t there tonight.  He’s the only conservative in the race, and should’ve been at the debate.  Oh, you say he was there?  CNN and Andderson Cooper will disagree with you.

Mike:  God you suck.  Go back to preaching.  The seperation of church and state is supposed to protect us from religious zealotry.  It hasn’t for the last 8 years, but it truly is time for a change.

What it comes down to on the Republican side is do we wish to have a president willing to squander away all this nation has achieved into the moneypit in Iraq or do we want someone who can lead us away from American Imperialism.  As Ron Paul isn’t even recognized, and McCain is being deified, I reckon we have our answer.  For the first time since I started voting I’ll be voting democrat. 

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The endorsement waste of time

January 30, 2008

     The alternator went out on my car the other day.  It’s no big deal.  A couple of bolts, a couple of wires and right on top so I decided to fix it myself.   The weather was a balmy 12 degrees when I rose about 2 p.m. so I headed over to Billy Bob’s Salvage yard and Latex Pecker Emporium to get the part.

    Billy Bob is somewhat of a savant when it comes to American Politics, so when we’d finished the de riguer discussions on String Theory and Occum’s Razor the conversation turned to recent endorsements.  BB keeps up with politics on CNN, FOXNEWS, and MSNBC.  The reason he does this is becuase Billy Bob don’t like to let facts get in the way of his opinion.

    I enquired as to how he thought the latest endorsements were going to affect the campaign.  These are a few of his theories.

  Ted Kennedy’s endorsement:  This is almost sure to land Obama a larger percentage of the lardassed, drunken, white male vote, but is likely to cost him the Mary Jo Kapechne foundation endorsement.  The NEA (the teachers union, not the endowment for the arts) will likely be split since Ted Kennedy killed a teacher, but continues to fester in the no child left behind debate.

Maxine Waters for  Hillary Clinton:  This one surprised Billy Bob.  He can’t seem to understand how a woman that spent more time on her knees in the oval office during the Clinton Administration than Monica Lewinsky could possibly endorse the guys wife.  I spewed a little clarity on the issue when I explained that Maxine probably swung both ways and therefore was expecting to do a little face time when Hillary is president.

Rudy for John McCain:   Billy Bob thinks this will push John McCain to the republican nomination.  He figures McCain has now locked up the crossdressers, the adulterers, and the italian dwarves with one fell swoop.

John Edwards for ?????  :  Whoever gets this endorsements gets all the people too poor to get to the polls,   the narcissists, and the white lawyers.  Add to this allthe special interest money from revlon and Breck, and you have a prettty solid voting block

All things considered  Billy Bob thinks the endorsements are unimportant.  He’s waiting for the candidate that comes out solidly in favor of sex toys, drunken revelry, and misogyny.  White men still outnumber everyone else but white women in his opinion, and they can always kick the shit out of their wives and not let them vote.

Billy bob’s world might be fantasy, but it sure is fun  Oh yeah, the redneck cocksucker sold me the alternator for 60 bucks…fucking pirate.


It’s not prejudice, it’s pride

January 28, 2008

     I think I probably spend to much time paying attention to things not worth the effort.  This election cycle is certainly the most important one in history.  I know this because Wolf Blitzer said so.  What’s really not important is the crap that passes as news on this campaign.  Bill Clinton had it right when he said the fighting and bickering is what the news wants to report on, and so they feed the candidates questions that lead to more bickering, and then stand piously on their pedestals crying “for shame.”

    The race issue was a given.  There is a half black guy in the race, and therefore race will be an issue, because race sells advertising and newspapers.  John McCain lying about Biff Romney’s stance on timetables in Iraq (which most americans supported a few months back) isn’t nearly as juicy as Bill Clinton saying Jesse Jackson won in ’84 and ’88 in Soputh Carolina.  This comment is true, but is delightfully newsworthy because the wonks can call it anti-black code speak.

   Now, calling Bill a racist is like calling David Duke a champion of minority rights, but reality isn’t at issue.  What’s at issue is how can we wring every bit of drama we can out of a primary that is rapidly turning into the equivalent of a chowhall food fight.  Bill isn’t a racist, and anyone that doubted black South Carolina would vote for Obama should probably hearken back to the 80’s when they twice voted for Jesse Jackson. 

   Meanwhile,  coservative groups are robocalling as fast as their 486’s can pound out the calls to tell everyone who will listen what a bad bad black hater Clinton is. 
Now why would the conservatives do that?  Is it because they believe Barack is a much easier foe than Hillary?  I do, and I’m your basic dull normal midwesterner.  The Clnton’s are a formidable opponent.  Barack on the other hand hasn’t proven that he will be.

    I remember watching him at the Convention in 2004 and thinking “there stands the first black president of the United States.  I didn’t know he was half black or I may have called him the first brown president.    I also didn’t know he would risk that possibility by running before he could walk.  He is a first term senator from Illinois.   His self proclaimed experience on the world stage was a trip to Africa as a youth, and this may or may not be enough for him to traverse the labyrinth of international issues facing America’s next president.  Awww, hell, thats a damn lie.  there is no way he is ready.

    So the phrase used in this title is being bandied about by the experts/idiots on all the news shows.  I believe it.  I don’t think blacks vote for Barack because they hate whites, though in many cases that may be the case.  You would be hard pressed to find anyone that would admit it if they did, and there is nothing wrong with racial pride anyway.  I especially like the kind of racial pride that causes blacks to lambaste the only president that really did anything for them.  Don’t tell me about LBJ.  His racism IS a matter of public record.

   I like Barack.  I think he has the best intentions, and I think he really believes he can make a difference.  The reason I won’t vote for him though isn’t my racial pride.  It’s that the chunky chick with the big butt has proven she can go to war with the scoundrels and malcontents that infest the halls of congress.  She has also proven that she knows it requires breaking eggs to make an omelette, and for better or worse that will mkae her the most entertaining president if not the most effective.  I’ve long since given up hope that any of them have a clue how to put the dirt back in the hole they’ve dug for us. 

   For those of you who say Hillary had nothing to do with the success of the Clinton Administration and therefore has no right to take credit for it I say this.  You’ve never been married if you believe that.


The Lobbying Conundrum/Canard

January 27, 2008

   I’m pretty sure there is an election going on because the politicians are bad mouthing the lobbyists.   They’re an easy target, and therefore are front and center when the nitwits give their speeches. Tonight it was Barack, but they all do it, and like lemmings headed for a cliff we follow along never bothering to contemplate what a lobbyist is.  They aren’t the modern day equivalent of the flying monkeys in the Wizard of Oz.

    All a lobbyist is is someone paid to get some face time with our congressional representatives to ensure that our particular special interest isn’t ignored when it comes time to dole out the cash  our government so egregiously squanders.  Believe it or not each of you probably has a lobbyist working for you.  If you’re old, the AARP has your back.  If you have a union job the AFL/CIO is working every day to ensure that your voice is heard.  If you like chasing down Vicodin with nyquil the pharmaceutical companies have trained monkeys in suits trying to keep the good times rolling for you.

     Everyone is represented.  Every splinter of our society has someone taking care of them in one way or another on capital hill.  The truth is lobbyists are to politicians what candy is to children, and they no more want to see the system changed than do you or I when you think about it.  I’m almost certain my congressman can’t fit all his constituents into his busy schedule what with working on his golf game and all.  I’m glad someone has his ear.  Maybe what we should do is expect our elected representatives to listen to our lobbyists, and then do what is best for the country.  Our lobbyists aren’t the problem.  Our politicians are.  Without their tacit and sometimes overt agreement, the corruption and wholesale fleecing of the populace couldn’t occur.


what will you do with your tax rebate?

January 26, 2008

   Well, its apparently an almost done deal that over 100 million Americans are going to get a tax rebate between 300 dollars and 1200 dollars.  In addition, another 300 bucks per kid per family so if you have 1000 children it could really add up.

I’m curious as to what people will do with this cash.  It’s such a stupid Idea I can’t decide whether to cash the check and stuff the money up my ass and shoot myself so I can take it with me; or turn it into pennies and melt them down and make friendship handcuffs out of them.


we hold these truths to be self evident

January 26, 2008

   I’ve been wandering into Ration Reality  playing pissoff the assclown for the last couple of days.  For those of you who have never been, ‘they’re an eclectic bunch of turtle herders that aren’t real gentle on sacred cows.  When they’re done picking on fat people they start in on whatever else is within striking distance.  If it is likely to offend it is probably there, but the site is more than that.  It’s also gauranteed to make you laugh, cringe, or lose IQ points.  I personally enjoy the hell out of it.

     Pissing off the ass clown was really quite simple on this occassion.   Basically I started with a comment about bitchslapping that garrulous old fuck McCain, and moved on to a quite simple claim that we are making a mistake in the middle east, and a short, basic explanation as to why.  My mirth knew no bounds as this troglodytic miscreant started spewing the bush party line.

   Are there really people left out there that think the war in Iraq serves a valid purpose?  That it makes us stronger freer or safer?  Apparently one, but if there are more of you I’d like to hear what you have to say.  I think you’re a fucking idiot, but I love hearing what people opposed to my opinion are thinking.

while you’re at it, I mentioned about 8 months ago that inflation waso ut of control, recession was just around the bend, and Pakistan was the most important powder keg on the planet when it comes to our security.  Your opposing viewpoint on these issues is also welcome.

  


The politics of nausea

January 23, 2008

     It’s hard not to get that room spinning stomach churning feeling if you’re paying attention to politics these days.  Particularly if you’re a conservative.   Which I am.  I’m still going to vote for Hillary if she wins the Democratic primaries.  Which makes me a little green around the gills. 

   Why would I do such a thing?  Because to be quite frank I have a one eyed dog that gives me far more confidence than any of the conservative candidates.  Faux heroism, intellect, and morals do not sway me, and none of the Republican candidates have a realistic plan to place America back on a track worthy of the people that reside here.

    Lets start with McCain.  The only thing he has going for him is he was a war hero.  He consistently goes against the will of the people in his policy ideals, and like it or not that makes him a very bad employee.  The heroism thing is even a huge stretch to a thinking person.  Lets face it; the man volunteered to drop bombs on civilians in a soveriegn nation.  He was shot down during this criminal endeavor, and granted was treated horrendously during his captivity.  News flash….drop a bomb on my kids and see if you’re asking me to pass the canapes when I catch your sorry ass.  Like it or not, the true heroes of Vietnam were the conscripts that went and fought a war for no other reason than their government told them to.  Or even my personal favorite, Muhammad Ali, who faced prison rather than to go against his beliefs.  McCain was no hero.  He merely persevered through trying times that his own actions set in motion.

    Mighty Mike Huckabee.  I know this will offend some of you, but I believe his god is a case of mythology run amok.  I believe in him the same way I believe in Prometheus and Thor.    I do not want to be led by a man who bases his decisions on a god that has no more connection to reality than do Hercules and Hermes. 

   Giuliani and Romney….I put these two together because they are both the same sort of individual.  They have proven to say whatever they need to in order to get what they are after.  Puissant pandering does not a president make, and while they have both had limited experience making things function at the state and local level, neither has any proven ability to lead a nation in a world that is somewhat more complicated than running the olympics or taking credit for the hard work of others after what has been dubbed a national (an incredibly localized I might add) tragedy.

   Then there is of course Ron Paul.  I I’d like to vote for him.  I’d also like to ravage the swedish bikini team in a large vat of vanilla bean ice cream slathered in chocolate syrup.  Fantasy is cool, but hardly intelligent when it comes to casting your vote.   The man has never built a coalition in his entire congressional career.  Not a track record for change.

   So I’m left with Hillary.  Barack has the least experience of any candidate.  Voting for Barack is sort of like hiring a dishwasher to change your head gasket.  I can’t see it.  About the only thing he seems to have going for him is his tint.   Hillary on the other hand was intimately involved with an administration that balanced the budget,  increased the net worth of each American family, and managed to enact legislation that produced the strongest economy America has experienced in decades.  Her husband has been labelled a racist by Obama because Obama needs Bill to be a racist.  All the facts show that he isn’t, and that his administration fought for minorities and made their lives better.  This even though he was saddled with a congress dominated by the Republican party through most of his administration.

    So there you have it.  I’m voting for the girl with the big butt.   It’s not an easy thing to do, but based on history she is the only one that has any knowledge of how to build a coalition that is capable of changing the course this country is on.