These are not necessarily in any order. Order is the ruination of mankind, and any little thing I can do in my own personal existence to advance the cause of chaos I do. in other words I’m to lazy to put them in order.
1. My daughter returned from her trip to the amusement park with her friends. She brought me a gorilla. it is 6″ high. She said as she gave it to me. Here’s your $100.00 gorilla. Now I don’t owe you anything. I call that daughter math.
2. I have returned roscoes sheila to its rightful owner. Mollie is upset from hell, but Roscoe seems to be taking it just fine. Apparently he’s one of those “i got mine” fella’s. Anyway, we’re going to get him a permanent mate this weekend since he didn’t eat this one.
3. diet soda appears to be a stronger issue than i thought it would be. At least to some people who obviously have dead taste buds, and a lack of full length mirrors.
4. a buddy from work brought me a whole sack of homegrown tomatoes. My yard does not face the right direction to plant them. Is there anything better than a nice beefsteak tomato, thin sliced purple onion, and mayo sandwich on 12 grain bread? Washed down with anything but a diet soda?
5. It’s payday. I only vote for Ron Paul on wednesday. I like to imagine what my tax dollars are spent on. This week I’m buying new knobs for the ladies senatorial washroom doors. I hope them skanks wash their hands after. The remainder of it Nancy Pelosi is going to siphon into a private slush fund and buy a half a bra with it.
6. Khaled Abdul-Fattah Dawoud Mahmoud al-Mashhadani is really tom johnson, a truck driver from des moines. he has no links to al qaeda but was arrested on July 4th . It took two weeks for the Bush administration to beat him into agreeing to say he was khaled so that they can continue to link al qaeda to the war in Iraq. *my conspiracy theory for the day.
7. I had to cut and paste that name…can you imagine having to spell that in kindergarten? It’s no wonder these clowns grow up to be terrorists. No, not Tom Johnson. you must be a pauliac.
8. I filled the car with petrol. I could’ve bought a hooker and a bag of weed. Life blows.
9. My boss was in a mood. When I asked him what he would like me to accomplish today he said” go see how many more people you can piss off enough that they call me and complain about you.” I got to 7 before he asked me nicely to cease and desist.
10. on the way to work i saw one of those morris the cat looking cats that had been smooshed by a car…beside it was a sign that said I can beez cheeseburger. (this was for the mullets that keep coming here from the i canhazcheeseburger schlepfest. Never let it be said that I don’t try to please my readers.
11. Here are some things you should never do on a blog. Talk politics. Talk religion. Talk diet soda. Talk cats. Talk animal sex. Poke fun of stuff.
12. If those are true this blog doesn’t exist, and you have been drinking way to much if you think you are reading this.
13. My son has decided to joiin the Marines. My first instinct having been one was to yell “I forbid it.” “What came out of my mouth was “don’t sign anything unless I am there.” Being a dad can suck sometimes.
14. I finally asked you know who to marry me.
15. Ok, that last one was hilarious.
Posted by criminyjicket 
because I said so again, why? 
Osama Bin laden is dead
July 30, 2007I’ve been looking at pictures for days now, and the only conclusion I can come up with is he is dead. I know nobody else says so, but it’s the only rational conclusion. If he isn’t dead, then he is in captivity, and that implies a conspiracy theory so convoluted that it defies imagination.
This of course is an opinion, but not an uneducated one. Let me make some points.
1. A live Osama Bin laden is best for all concerned.
Al Qaeda, and islamic fundamentalism is stronger if the muslim world thinks he is alive. He is a folk hero to them, and enjoys incredible popularity throughout the region; including those countries who support the U.S. Plus, it is awfully hard to find a dead guy, and boy do we look dumb searching for him. Shaming America is a big deal to the radical islamic movement.
George Bush would play hell continuing his war on terror without the great satan to hunt. American’s are already tired of the bloodshed, and loss of human life. Less than 1/10th of the casualties we experienced in vietnam, and if you put it to a referendum we’d have troops flying home by the weekend. Had Osama’s corpse been presented 2 years ago the war in Iraq would be long over.
Congressional democrats want him alive, because the disaster that the war on terror has become for the Bush Administration has already given them control of both houses of congress, and barring some miracle (like a freshly thawed body of Osama Bin Laden being put in front of the news cameras) they will enlarge their majorities, and win the White House because of what one long dead terrorist started.
2. Not one single reputable source has shown conclusive proof that he is alive.
Not one. The last conclusive evidence came before the 2004 elections. He mentioned bush and kerry so it is likely he was alive at the time, but since then not one shred of logical evidence proves he is alive.
3. He went to Dubai in 2001 for dialysis.
Kidney problems don’t just disappear, and the affects on him physiologically we’re obvious in later videos. It would be difficult in the extreme to receive anywhere near proper medical care. Especially while being the worlds foremost fugitive .
Most American intelligence agents have been shifted away from Afghanistan,. and the hunt for Osama has been in name only for several years. You can say thats because Bush toook his eye off the ball, but it’s just as credible to surmise that somewhere deep in the vaults is a portfolio marked top secret that has a dead photo of Osama in it.
It’s far easier to bilk the American people out of billions of dollars if the news keeps sporting hunt for Osama slogans, and the world believes the man is alive and masterminding further mischief. It’s not so easy to respond to a couple of very simple questions:
1. If he is alive, and his followers could be emboldened by his presence, why have none of the photo’s or video’s borne any proof of the date? it would be quite easy to accomplish, but none have been shown?
2. Why, if he is sick, and needing dialysis just to stay alive; and we really want to catch him..why have we removed those assets from the regions he is thought to be in? We’ve had years to track him, and not one sighting, not one wierd medical shipment, not one shred of evidence found that he is still alive
This is all conjecture of course, and i’m no expert, but until they prove he is alive he is dead dead dead. Thats my conspiracy idea for the day.