Ron Paul or Hillary Clinton…the change candidate

August 15, 2007

  This political season it would be nice if everyone would just sit back, take a deep breath, and think about the election logically.  As things now stand we have eight what I would call viable candidacies.  Hillary Clinton, John Edwards, Barack Obama, and Bill Richardson on the left, and Mitt Romney, Rudy Giuliani, Mike Huckabee, and Ron Paul on the right.  That’s as far as I can pare it down for now, though I really think at least three more of these could be written off right now (Richardson, Edwards, Huckabee).  The only thing that keeps me from doing that is  people elected George Bush twice in a row, so we shouldn’t cut out the whacko’s and perpetual losers to quickly.

so, everyone keeps talking about change.  Everyone wants change.    So now, with just one word for each I’ll list the only change each of these candidates brings to the table.  The reason I say only is because with the exception of Ron Paul, everyone of them has the same business as usual credentials

 Hillary Clinton:  Breasts

Barack Obama:  ignorance  (you thought I’d say black, but I’m not really sure he is.  I’ll wait until the black folk let me know.)

Bill Richardson:  corpulence

John Edwards:  wife  (you can’t tell me that little attack monkey isn’t different)

Rudy Giuliani: accent (how does he talk like that?  Does he insert something in his anus to get that pent up sound?)

Mitt Romney: twohundredandfiftymilliondollars  ( I cheated…if you say it real fast though i’ll get away with it.)

Mike Huckabee:   nothing

Ron Paul:  integrity

One of those folks doesn’t really belong on the list.   Of all these folks Ron Paul offers the only change.  I don’t believe he’s capable of getting it, but we won’t really know unless he gets elected.  As for me.  I’m down to breasts or integrity.  It’s going to be a long 6 months trying to figure out which is more important.

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The democrats had a forum

August 8, 2007

  Soldier field was never so dreary.  15,000 union members, well aware that the sun is setting on their way of life, hunkered down in Soldier Field to once again try to determine which candidate would screw them least.  There were no Republicans on the gridiron this hot August Day as the unions know that their “great white hype” will not have  “screw America’s middle class” conservative values.  Instead the table was set with a meager fare of left wingers and centrist liberals.  Like potatoes with no gravy this ass ugly crew of never done wells came to denigrate the intelligence of the American Worker, and deservedly so.

    Hearken back several years, and you will find that it was a Democrat (Bill Clinton) who signed into law one of the worst defeats ever for union labor.  We also joined the WTO under his administration, and Union membership and jobs have been declining drastically ever since.  Interestingly, the wife of that president was on this stage, and nearly half of her fellow candidates had voted for NAFTA and the WTO.

    So these downtrodden masses came to see if there was hope for an afterlife for American labor.  They left with T-shirts, and promises.  Promises that will be broken as soon as it becomes politically expedient.  Promises of Pension protection, universal health care, a rebuilding of American Industry; the list goes on and on, but the reality is it was a night for Snow White and the Seven Dorks to play dress up and hand out treats to the children.  Nobody present could possibly believe the lies they were told,  having been marginalized so often in the past by the party claiming to be for the working man.

   I said Seven Dorks because it was Kieth Olbermann who played moderator, and they couldn’t have found a wimpier guy for the task.  His actual cartoon character should be puss in boots, because he let the candidates walk all over him.

Dennis Kucinich sadly believes he has a chance.  He actually has a solid voting record in relation to union issues, and is possibly the most decent guy on that stage.

Bill Richardson went back to his style of reciting his resume, but he failed to mention his vote for NAFTA

John Edwards has done the legwork, but he comes off as so insincere that voting for him would be the equivalent of playing russian roulette.

Christopher Dodd was forceful, but has lost whatever charisma he had found over the last several weeks, and was all in all utterly boring.

Barack Obama is the George Bush of the left.  He can’t admit when he is wrong, even if the average 10 year old knows it.

Joe Biden was terrific.  When Kieth olbermann asked him if he would end no bid contracts and gave him 30 seconds to answer he said “yes.”  At least if he’s lying he kept it short.  Again, I could vote for this guy.

Hillary is going to be the Democratic nominee for president, but I think Joe Biden is a wiser choice for VP than Barack.  Barack needs weathering, and a better understanding of what it takes to be a player on a global stage.  The union folks for the most part didn’t seem to appreciate her all that much, but they no longer hold sway as they once did.


the debate (the criminy perspective)

July 24, 2007

  Well, that was fun.  It wasn’t a debate.  It was a forum, but thats a semantic thing.  I have a few observations.  Some of them might even come off as intelligent.  We’ll see.

The I look presidential, I sound presidential, and I will be the next president award goes to (someone just shoot me now) Hillary Clinton.  She did look presidential…except for the female and we’ve never had a female president thing  I was pretty impressed by her.  I still don’t like her, but you have to admit the pantyline made her seem more human.  I would bet against anyone that underestimates her. 

Universal healthcare may be the hammer that destroys the democratic party.  How about limiting it to health care for the indigent, children, elderly and handicapped?

The I don’t really know how this works award goes to Barack Obama for saying he would directly meet with Chavez,Castro, Kim Jong Il, Assad, and Ahmadinejad.  Hillary and Edwards we’re quick to jump on the diplomatic faux pas.  It worries me a little that I knew all their names…my memory should be shot by now.

Who I could vote for award goes to – Joe Biden.  He makes sense.  He’s been around the block, he isn’t some rich fat cat looking to pad his fortune, and he’s been serving this country through a ton of personal strife.  I like the idea of partitioning Iraq, since there is no other idea that has any chance of working.  If it wasn’t for his voting record in congress he’d be the man.  I loved “If thats your baby, you need help” and the followup “I hope he doesn’t come looking for me.”  I also like his position on troops to Darfur

The “surprise criminy” award goes to Bill Richardson for not reciting his diplomatic resume no matter what the question was about.

The I not only look crazy I am crazy award goes to Dennis Kucinich for suggesting that people alive today deserve reperations for something that ended 142 years ago.

The I’m in control (anyone remember Alexander Haig) award goes to Anderson Cooper.  This is no Wolf Blitzer.  He handled things as moderator impeccably.  This guy really never looks bad no matter what he is doing, and I can think of a gazillion journalists(sycophants) that need to watch him and try to emulate him.  If you don’t believe me go over to you tube and get a copy of Sean Hannity’s interview with Huffington.  He is the only idiot on the planet that could make her look intellectual.

The whineass award goes to Mike Gravel…even though i really like this guy.  The reason you are not asked a lot of questions is because you are a marginal candidate.  I liked his firm stance on the died in vain controversy.  I know it’s hard to take, but if you die fighting for a cause, and have no affect on future events…then you probably from that perspective died in vain.

I’m not giving chris dodd an award.  I’m just going to say that I was wrong to judge this guy by his behaviour in senate hearings.  He’s lucid, earnest, and has a reasonable vision for the future if you remove all the stupid I have to say this to please my base rhetoric.  Nice job Chris.

minor notes:

I think it’s cute how they all rail against special interests and corporations.  I particularly liked the corporate carbon penalty idea.  What I think a lot of people don’t realize is that the more we regulate our industries, and force them to pay the costs…the less able they are to compete in the global market that these same public officials created.  I know it sounds good, but we are flat getting our asses kicked in global trade, and it’s because the countries that are eating our lunch are not being regulated the way we are.

Bill Richardsons 40K minimum wage for teachers.  That sounds nice don’t it…ok…i have a confession…I’ve been working at my current job since January.  I will make substantially more than 40K this year.  Here comes the good part.  I’m a painter.  I don’t know about you, but I think a society that pays its teachers less than it pays its painters deserves whatever fate hell can dream up for it.

I want to find fault with healthcare for illegal aliens but i can’t.everyone should receive medical attention if they need it, and under current law, believe it or not…you do.  Hospitals can not refuse to treat you.  They can transfer you to another facility, but you have to be treated.  Insured or not.  In theory.

   The gay marriage issue I’m going to do a flip flop on.  It’s not governments business.  I think what Obama said was right.  If churches wish to honor gay marriage thats fine.  It is a civil matter.  I do think that they should have all the same rights and privileges as married couples, but think they should have all the same costs.  Once entered into a civil union they should have to get a divorce to break it, and pay all the appropriate alimonies child support etc that the court deems appropriate .  Thats what I call getting kissed before you get f%$ked.

I thought it was nice of all these wonderful religious people to think it’s okay for people not to be religious, and to think they should still have a voice in our society.  It was very inclusive of them. *smack*

All in all it was entertaining.  Some of it was funny, some of it was sad, some of it was just plain stupid.  A typical presidential candidate forum.