Sunday is for random thoughts #9

August 5, 2007

It’s sunday again.   Time for more random thoughts from the thoughtless.  If you are easily offended hit the out button.  My blog has been caterized, and I’m decidedly cranky.

1.  our schools are in disarray, our infrastructure is crumbling,  and we have over 500 varieties of beer to choose from.  I don’t see a problem here.

2.  I feel that tarring and feathering should be part of the criminal code, and this is when it should be used.

3.   Roscoe chewed through the wires on my cable box.  This was either a suicide attempt or a murder attempt.  Either way it was poorly executed, since we are both still alive.

4.  I would like a bagel with everything so i can go put it under the tire of my car and run over it.  It’s like hanging someone in effigy.  It packs no punch, but you get to feel like an idiot.

5.  If whites and blacks can’t agree that dogfighting is bad, what hope have we of agreeing on anything?  I think blacks only find dogfighting to be ok when its a famous black person.  Kind of like the whole O.J. and murder thing.   It kind of bothers me that this has been made racial.

6.  Give me a hammer, a paring knife, a roll of duct tape, and a fifth of anything with a spanish sounding name, and I’ll make McGuyver look dull normal.

7.  I’m not pleased with the way random thoughts is going today, but at least my Tourettes Syndrome appears to be in remission.

8.  19 million people in Bangladesh and India think Al Gore is a dumbass, and I’m smart as hell…more global wetting issues.

9.   sex is overrated and underutilized.

10.  that being said, you may disrobe now.

11.  While it may seem cute, buying your newborn a shirt that says “now that I’m safe I’m pro-choice” is a fashion no-no.

12.  I’m to sexy…well, I’m not but this is:

my son taught me how to do that.  It has come to my attention that being blog illiterate is not safe.  If only for self defense I need to know how to do more than just type blithering idiocy.  That clip was bastardized from the world of warcraft.  All I can say is that is not a proper form of birth control, but probably works in the abstinence category.  I’ll credit this later…he didn’t get me the URL.

13.   Locking your pets out of your room almost gaurantees a decent 3 hours of sleep.  At which time they will decide they miss you and start fighting like children.  I’m not sure why one of them isn’t already dead.  Dog? Rabbit?  I want some gotdam blood.

14.  Dale Jr. won the pole at pocono, Wisconsin is ranked 7th in the preseason poll, some steroid infused monstrosity hit his 755th home ron, and A-rod got to 500 faster than anyone ever has.  Oh, yeah, some hockey for Janie. Edmonton is going to pay Dustin Penner 21.25 million over 5 years.  Dustin is a 29 goal scorer.  call it 30 and 21 million for argument.  Thats $140,000 per goal.  10 dollar hookers definitely got into the wrong line of work.   

15.  Blogs I read everyday at least once are listed in the blogroll.  The one blog I refuse to miss on sunday, is Anita’s.  She prays.

16.  I’d send y’all over to Ration Reality, but on sunday mornings they read chicken bones, beat up small fur bearing creatures with tire irons, and sacrifice virgins to Loki.

ok, thats enough of this.  Hope your weeks went well, and if they didn’t their will be better times than these.

  


todays events

July 18, 2007

  These are not necessarily in any order.  Order is the ruination of mankind, and any little thing I can do in my own personal existence to advance the cause of chaos I do.  in other words I’m to lazy to put them in order.

1.  My daughter returned from her trip to the amusement park with her friends.  She brought me a gorilla.  it is 6″ high.  She said as she gave it to me.  Here’s your $100.00 gorilla.  Now I don’t owe you anything.  I call that daughter math.

2.  I have returned roscoes sheila to its rightful owner.  Mollie is upset from hell, but Roscoe seems to be taking it just fine.  Apparently he’s one of those “i got mine” fella’s.  Anyway, we’re going to get him a permanent mate this weekend since he didn’t eat this one.

3.  diet soda appears to be a stronger issue than i thought it would be.  At least to some people who obviously have dead taste buds, and a lack of full length mirrors.

4.  a buddy from work brought me a whole sack of homegrown tomatoes.  My yard does not face the right direction to plant them.  Is there anything better than a nice beefsteak tomato, thin sliced purple onion, and mayo sandwich on 12 grain bread?  Washed down with anything but a diet soda?

5.  It’s payday.  I only vote for Ron Paul on wednesday.  I like to imagine what my tax dollars are spent on.  This week I’m buying new knobs for the ladies senatorial washroom doors.  I hope them skanks wash their hands after.  The remainder of it Nancy Pelosi is going to siphon into a private slush fund and buy a half a bra with it.

6.  Khaled Abdul-Fattah Dawoud Mahmoud al-Mashhadani is really tom johnson, a truck driver from des moines.  he has no links to al qaeda but was arrested on July 4th .  It took two weeks for the Bush administration to beat him into agreeing to say he was khaled so that they can continue to link al qaeda to the war in Iraq. *my conspiracy theory for the day.

7.  I had to cut and paste that name…can you imagine having to spell that in kindergarten?  It’s no wonder these clowns grow up to be terrorists.  No, not Tom Johnson. you must be a pauliac.

8.   I filled the car with petrol.  I could’ve bought a hooker and a bag of weed.  Life blows.

9.  My boss was in a mood.  When I asked him what he would like me to accomplish today he said” go see how many more people you can piss off enough that they call me and complain about you.”  I got to 7 before he asked me nicely to cease and desist.

10.  on the way to work i saw one of those morris the cat looking cats that had been smooshed by a car…beside it was a sign that said I can beez cheeseburger.  (this was for the mullets that keep coming here from the i canhazcheeseburger schlepfest.  Never let it be said that I don’t try to please my readers.  

11.  Here are some things you should never do on a blog.  Talk politics. Talk religion. Talk diet soda. Talk cats. Talk animal sex.  Poke fun of stuff.

12.  If those are true this blog doesn’t exist, and you have been drinking way to much if you think you are reading this.

13.  My son has decided to joiin the Marines.  My first instinct having been one was to yell “I forbid it.”  “What came out of my mouth was “don’t sign anything unless I am there.”  Being a dad can suck sometimes.

14.  I finally asked you know who to marry me.

15.  Ok, that last one was hilarious.


Shake the tree

July 5, 2007

   Since blowing my own horn is never allowed here I won’t say I told you so.  I will however say that David Duke throwing his support behind Ron Paul should make a lot of you question where you stand.  You really can judge people based on the company they keep, and this guy is drawing every radical freakazoid militia racist gonzo whacko to his banner.  Also a lot of bloggers, libertarians, and conservatives I’ll grant, but the scum always rises to the top, and the David Duke report isn’t a good thing.

    in other non-news the Clintons are actually trying to delineate between their behaviour, well Bills, at the end of his presidency, and Bushies commuting of Scooter Libby.  Unfortunately they have a small point.  Libby is involved in the administration, and may, I say may, be covering for his bosses.  Quid pro quo? who knows.  A few of the folks Bill let off the hook knew where his bodies were buried as well, though.  John Conyers is holding hearings.  We’re paying for it.  Do you ever tire of the incessant handjob our politicians practice?  Its costly, and useless, yet they continue to do it no matter who holds the reins.

   The blog is healthy, long live the blog.  Met some new folks.  If you really wanna tickle your funny bone I recommend Mediapython.  He’s a good writer too.  It’s a decent place to drop a few minutes of your day.. his post about his to do list had me amused no end.

    Max Adams.  Here’s true talent.   Her blog is an eclectic hodge podge of creativity that should entertain you.   Warning to all you fellas.  clever or sexy, or the bouncer won’t let you in.  If you don’t believe she has talent, she inspired the first ever picture at my picture free blog.

MDVPhas a political (primarily) blog, and seems aware of the game.  He’s a Fred Thompson guy and you political types should check him out

for a different slant on the world take a peek at Stranger.  She’s funny, and observant.  A good combo.

I’ve already plugged D. Peace, but some folks just have it, and he has ten bucks everytime I do this.  I’m not really sure why this guy isn’t a drunken comedic lounge act, but I’m glad he’s here instead.

oscarandre is a writer.  that may seem dull as accolades go, but man, he is a writer

The rest of the blogroll is good stuff to.  I recommend vote-smart.org to anyone interested in politics, but not altogether sure they’re getting the straight dope from their candidates blog.

did I say dope? Man, i miss that.

for the roscoe the wonder  bunny fans…last night I caught the    penile purveyor sexually assaulting mollie the dogs water dish.  He’s a bit of a randy bastard, and I’m not sure whether I should have him in the same house as my teenaged children.  I’m contemplating leasing him out to some “b” movie clown and see if i can’t make enough loot to replace the water dish.  I wouldn’t drink out of it, and since mollie witnessed the above mentioned atrocity, I doubt she will either.

there…thats a wrap 

whoops…anita has a macabre thing going that will tittilate  those into that sort of thing.


why no pictures?

June 28, 2007

cuz

any other questions?

   I don’t steal much around the web…occassionally a list or a paragraph to pass along to the masses, but for the most part it isn’t my thing.  I write here.  Thats what you’ll find.  Day in and day out.  Same ol shit

Truthfully,  I don’t even write here.  I just drain off the overflow here.  It’s what the place seems to be for.  Like flushing the toilet.  It has to go somewhere.  So when I get twisted around a phrase or word I wish to use, and its not working for me; I come here and waste a few minutes on things of little real import.  I mean, how many thousand blog posts before you know all you will ever wish to know about Ron Paul?  I knew before I wrote the first, and I’ve only read maybe two or three because the style was catchy.

Alli?  total waste of time.  the people dumb enough to take something that will make them shit like they’re having a bad morning in Mexico are going to, and all the reasonableness and inflammatory castigation will not change that.

Writing?  That’s not really done here.  Blurting happens. bad haiku’s and limericks abound.  The occassional sonnet that was written on the roll of toilet paper in a truck stop in Oklahoma City appears, and then in a day is gone like a puff of smoke from a bong some clown was using prior to writing it/plagiarizing it.

Writing?  lets say 1000 blogs out of a million have honest to god writing.  i see tons with proper punctuation.  Several wth good sentence structure.  quite a few world class spellers around, and a couple of grammatical geniuses.  Have i mentioned alliteration? lost art that.  Of those 1000 50 also have an original thought, some devious little thread of conversation to pull you in and torment your mind for a few minutes.

Writing?  I’d say 50.  50 writers.  a million plus people running their mouths via keyboard, and 50 talented writers.  Thats really not bad.  I haven’t read the grapes of wrath hear yet, and I may never read another i have no mouth and I must scream if i live to be a million.  The simple fact that the potential is out there is enough to make me write.

no, not here.  What I write is mine.  This schlock?  This is my one method of feeling like a herd animal.  A grazing unfulate being fattened on good grass for the slaughter.  Me and the other million lemmings crashing headlong toward a cliff called utter disappointment.

  Someone told me make your blog welcoming, don’t say anything to caustic or inflammatory.  Don’t poke sacred cows. (cliff, its sound advice…i don’t wish to be popular though)  this guy is in my blogroll….he is one of the 50

then why write?


Blog Crackdown imminent

June 26, 2007

   The Federal Election Commission could be getting ready to crack down on those of us who like to talk politics.  It surprises me that the three democrats on the commission blocked an appeal of the judges ruling in the matter.  Check out this link

http://news.com.com/The+coming+crackdown+on+blogging/2008-1028_3-5597079.html


a literary tip

June 25, 2007

not many writers on here.  I mean everybodies writing, but most aren’t doing it well.  this guy is.  You may be a little put off by his ego, but I have to say the man can flat write his ass off. 

http://cliffjburns.wordpress.com/


sunday is for random thoughts #3

June 24, 2007

1.  Imagine my chagrin when I started to listen to classical music and found out it was played on all my favorite cartoons.

2.  Horse tastes a lot like cow.

3.  We should ban all hunting.  it is much more fun to watch animals die of starvation and disease caused by overpopulation.

4.  I wish the government would let me pick what to spend the 1 out of 3 dollars of my earnings that they snatch from me on.  I’d buy a bomb for fallujah.

5.     Droopy, woody woodpecker, and atom ant could so kick sponge bob’s, dexter’s, and chuckie’s asses.

6.    If you treat everyone the way they treat you, you will spend a lot of time alone.

7.  The blog definition of troll is “someone who doesn’t agree with every idiotic thing you think.”

8.  80 American soldiers have died in Iraq in June.  I have no idea how many have died in car accidents, in gun violence, in domestic situations, of diabetes, of cancer, of cirrhosis, of suicide, of drug overdoses, of neglect, of starvation, in work related accidents, or simply by falling.  While all of these are certainly higher numbers, no news organization see’s fit to give me a daily count.

9.    John Stewart and Stephen Colebert have exactly the same reasons to lie to us a Wolf Blitzer and Storm Davis.  They get paid based on popularity.

10.   Cynicism is the commingling of intellect and experience.  If you aren’t cynical you lack one or the other.

11.   Never loan someone money.  If you care enough to loan it to them give it to them.  It saves a lot of frustration.

12.   A loyal dog is a better companion than a disloyal mate.

13.   I’m not sure what that is, but I have an incredible desire to dip my scrotum in it.

14.   If you took the collective good deeds of all the candidates for president and put them in a pile, and then took the net worth of the same group….which would you rather leave to your children?

15.  You have it real good if you’re one of the millions that spend time at work doing non-work oriented things on your computer.  Any reasonable boss would fire you.

16.   You will sometime in the future be lied to by a friend, cheated on by a mate, disrespected by your progeny, or abused or neglected by those who are responsible for your care.  Ain’t life a bitch?

17.   working hard is not half as prosperous as screwing people over, but you can look at yourself in the mirror without saying “damn I’m good.”

18.  Don’t be so angry, so hurt, so despondent.  Doin’t let others change how you see yourself. Don’t join the herd of lemmings you see crossing before you, and never doubt your ability to make a difference.  Now get the hell out of here.  I’m out of random thoughts for today.

postscript:  don’t forget to contact your congresman at  

http://blog.aflcio.org/   Ron Paul and most other conservatives voted against it, meaning it has to be good for working americans.


steal little, steal big

June 18, 2007

I had a discussion with a friend of mine today. This is a person whose intellect is without question, and her passion for the issues of the day beyond reproach. She is, contrary to her political beliefs, a true believer in absolute freedom on the internet. Her viewpoint, though not all that far removed from my own, diverges when it comes to the wholesale theft of intellectual property on the net.

I feel it necessary to point out here that I have no intellectual property at risk, and therefore no ax to grind. Some will tell you I have no intellect either, but thats another story fraught with tales of late night illegal lobotomies, and tantalizingly sensual electroshock therapy sessions. Further, from an individual position I could care less who rips off hootie and the blowfish as I figure they ripped off someone else anyway. New thoughts are as rare as three legged rabbits that don’t become lunch.

What I care about is government intrusion. I like the fast, free, and fulfilling exchange of ideas that the blogosphere provides, and don’t feel that the 10% or so total whacko’s spewing vitriolic rhetoric against some public figure or another is a threat. However, when you dip into the coffers of large corporations you virtually invite, no demand government interference on the web. The same people that open their wallets to buy power for the menagerie of rapscallions, retards, and rogues populating capital hill are the ones contemplating ways to make inroads on our freedoms in order to protect their little moneymakers.

Have no doubt they will succeed. I was told the people won’t stand for it. I disagree. The population of this fair country has long since proven to be nothing but a collective of semi-aware lemmings being herded toward a cliff by the most mediocre leadership in world history. We haven’t pullled the “i am voter here me roar” card since prohibition, and its doubtful we’ll do it to protect the god given right to steal porn and scatter it across the web.

Now I’ve heard the argument that it would be too difficult to police the web, but I have my doubts that every keystroke isn’t already being logged in the basement of the state department. I don’t think tracking and punishing those that steal intellectual property would be of any real difficulty when those being raided get tired of the attack on their bottom line.

Go ahead. Steal that clip, that pic, and that story. Have fun with it. Post it on your blog to tittilate the masses. When the man comes calling