asswind and asswits

August 16, 2007

  I was going to do a schmooze the news post, but there is so much stupid shit I couldn’t cope.  I’m beginning to think the news is just bad fiction designed to keep us from realizing that life is spectacular.  To much happy would ruin the plans of the vast left wing and right wing conspiracies.

   Well…they fucked up, because I’m borderline ecstatic.  That magilla gorilla looking prick Hugo Chavez continues to follow exactly the plot that I said he would.  Now his plan is to do what the lefties think George Bush intends to do here.  Remove term limits and continue being in charge.  This of course is a good thing.  Socialism did more to stabilize the world as the antithesis to democracy than the current islamofascist opponent seems to do.  We should probably get with bombing the muslims into the stone age so we can face that world conquering cocksucker Hugo.  Not to get personal or anything, but what kind of parents name their fat kid Hugo?

    I assume you already heard that al qaeda is bombing the hell out of the Kurds?  This is also very good news in that the Kurds were always the punching bag for the muslims in Iraq, and a return to traumatizing them means that things are almost back to normal in Iraq.  Does anyone really think that this is the war on terror?  Not you George, go back to yanking it to the family photo album.  Does anyone else think so?  thought not.

   How about those ratbastards in China?  We now know that the Chinese government knew about the magnet issues.  I’m sceptical that they didn’t know about the lead paint as well.  Chinese exports have been feeding our kids lead for over 30 years….lead…it makes you retarded…..er….does a body good?  What really bugs the shit out of me is that 80% of the toys sold in America are made in China, and that means there are a lot of parents that really don’t give a shit if their children are attacked or not.   Nice job mom and dad.

  Did you see where this heinous harlot in Tennessee shot her preacher husband in the back while he was sleeping, and got 67 days?  Now I realize he was probably a rotten guy, and am even willing to grant that he did every single thing that she says he did.  Fact is, he is dead and can’t dispute it.  My question is why didn’t the stupid hag leave?  I’m totally sick of women to dumb to get out of bad relationships getting away with murder.  Her ass  should rot in jail…just like his would have if he had done the same.

   Theresa Earnhardt is now the wicked witch of NASCAR.  First she forces  the son out the business that was meant for him, and now she won’t let him have the car number he’s had since he started racing.  This has obviously become a pissin contest hillbilly style, and business is no longer a part of it.  You go Theresa…may you rest in peace.  Not dead yet?  No hurry, but when you do, …yanno

there was this huge fight out in front of the grocery store when I went and dropped the weekly C-note for sustenance.  It appeared to be between some incredibly obese illiterate gals, and some over tanned, house shoe wearing hussies.  The gangster boyfriends with their pants cinched around their thighs stayed out of it.  I’m assuming for fear their pants would fall down.   Or it may have been because the girls were tougher than they.  Either way,  I got WWE smackdown thrown in for free on my grocery tab.  what a great country.

On the lighter side, it was discovered today that the reason Barack Obama’s message has become so shizophrenic is his new handlers are Larry, Curly, and Moe.  Did this guy wake up three weeks ago and decide, man i’d rather smoke some dope than be president?  also, why suddenly are the democrats so concerned about Hillary’s bad trickle down effect?  Did they just realize that only Indiana votes for its Reps?  Her high standing in liberal enclaves has always posed a risk for the democratic candidates seeking office in more conservative states.  I think its cool…the democrats trying to sabotage one of their own.   Political cannibalism.  When this all works out we might have Mike Gravel as the last man standing.

  I already miss Karl Rove and he isn’t even gone yet.  It’s almost sad the way this wonderful administration is slinking off one by one into the sunset.  Good thing they stacked the supreme court, or we’d have nothing to remember them by.

   I wasn’t going to do this, because I really don’t care, but could you assmonkeys supporting Ron Paul can the conspiracy crap?  The only legitimate conspiracy may be that some of his followers are really Mitt Romney fans, and are trying to convince the voters that Dr. Ron is as nutty as his supporters.

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