Sunday is for random thoughts #9

It’s sunday again.   Time for more random thoughts from the thoughtless.  If you are easily offended hit the out button.  My blog has been caterized, and I’m decidedly cranky.

1.  our schools are in disarray, our infrastructure is crumbling,  and we have over 500 varieties of beer to choose from.  I don’t see a problem here.

2.  I feel that tarring and feathering should be part of the criminal code, and this is when it should be used.

3.   Roscoe chewed through the wires on my cable box.  This was either a suicide attempt or a murder attempt.  Either way it was poorly executed, since we are both still alive.

4.  I would like a bagel with everything so i can go put it under the tire of my car and run over it.  It’s like hanging someone in effigy.  It packs no punch, but you get to feel like an idiot.

5.  If whites and blacks can’t agree that dogfighting is bad, what hope have we of agreeing on anything?  I think blacks only find dogfighting to be ok when its a famous black person.  Kind of like the whole O.J. and murder thing.   It kind of bothers me that this has been made racial.

6.  Give me a hammer, a paring knife, a roll of duct tape, and a fifth of anything with a spanish sounding name, and I’ll make McGuyver look dull normal.

7.  I’m not pleased with the way random thoughts is going today, but at least my Tourettes Syndrome appears to be in remission.

8.  19 million people in Bangladesh and India think Al Gore is a dumbass, and I’m smart as hell…more global wetting issues.

9.   sex is overrated and underutilized.

10.  that being said, you may disrobe now.

11.  While it may seem cute, buying your newborn a shirt that says “now that I’m safe I’m pro-choice” is a fashion no-no.

12.  I’m to sexy…well, I’m not but this is:

my son taught me how to do that.  It has come to my attention that being blog illiterate is not safe.  If only for self defense I need to know how to do more than just type blithering idiocy.  That clip was bastardized from the world of warcraft.  All I can say is that is not a proper form of birth control, but probably works in the abstinence category.  I’ll credit this later…he didn’t get me the URL.

13.   Locking your pets out of your room almost gaurantees a decent 3 hours of sleep.  At which time they will decide they miss you and start fighting like children.  I’m not sure why one of them isn’t already dead.  Dog? Rabbit?  I want some gotdam blood.

14.  Dale Jr. won the pole at pocono, Wisconsin is ranked 7th in the preseason poll, some steroid infused monstrosity hit his 755th home ron, and A-rod got to 500 faster than anyone ever has.  Oh, yeah, some hockey for Janie. Edmonton is going to pay Dustin Penner 21.25 million over 5 years.  Dustin is a 29 goal scorer.  call it 30 and 21 million for argument.  Thats $140,000 per goal.  10 dollar hookers definitely got into the wrong line of work.   

15.  Blogs I read everyday at least once are listed in the blogroll.  The one blog I refuse to miss on sunday, is Anita’s.  She prays.

16.  I’d send y’all over to Ration Reality, but on sunday mornings they read chicken bones, beat up small fur bearing creatures with tire irons, and sacrifice virgins to Loki.

ok, thats enough of this.  Hope your weeks went well, and if they didn’t their will be better times than these.

  

not really newsworthy

   Lets start with tonights debate.  The spin machine is pumping out what a new and different thing the You Tube debate will be.  Ok, tell me how?  Because “you” are asking the questions.  Lets look at that.  Over 2000 clips have been submitted according to CNN.  Obviously, they don’t have time in two hours to ask 2000 questions.  How do we pare it down?  Well, lets have CNN’s editors do it.  Out of 2000 maybe 30 will be used.  It’s not much of a stretch to imagine that the 30 will be those that CNN wants asked.  The only input you have is whether you wear a silly hat, or hold your stupid fleabitten cat while you ask it.  This is the first debate sanctioned by The Democratic National Committee this election cycle.  What to expect?  I think John Edwards and Barack Obama have to be more aggressive.  Edwards because if he doesn’t he is dead, and Barack just to show that he is capable of it.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/nf/20070723/tc_nf/54047

   I wonder which $2000 suit wearing reject allowed the Republican debate to be held in September?  Seems to me something real serious is going down in terms of Iraq that month, and it is likely to turn the Republican debate into a free for all.  Which is good for the viewers, and for Ron Paul, but it sandbags the hell out of the hawks on stage.  If I we’re Giuliani, McCain, and Romney I’d be mad as hell.  Why?  Well, do you think much is going to change in the next month and a half in Iraq?  Yeah, me either.  The Republican governors say its no big deal that their isn’t a front runner.  They may be right.  Conservatives are notoriously tight with their campaign funding until it shakes out, meaning they’ll be lots of money for the stretch run, and the geneal election.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20070723/ap_on_el_pr/republican_governors_2;_ylt=Ag.2ypj8XxumGruFLpERpQgL1vAI

   Have you paid your “support dead farmers” tax?  In a 7 year period over $1.1 billion in subsidies was paid to dead farmers.  The U.S. Department of Agriculture pays out over 40% of claims without any review process at all.  In most cases they rely on the farm corporations to inform them of a death.  They say staff shortages and competing priorities are to blame.  Another government agency tossing your money out the window, and generally to people one hell of a lot richer than you.   Don’t believe me? Read the article.  They’re spending money you could be putting away for your childs tuition to subsidize giant farm companies worth millions.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/19912382/

I was reading this and started doing the math.  .09 cents is 3%.  That means you now pay roughly $3.00 for a cup of coffee?  Oh man, you deserve to be bent over and rammed by Starbucks.  That’s pretty much the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/19918485/

Obama, Osama, and Chelsea’s Momma?  Well isn’t that clever.  I can understand Mitt’s argument.  He isn’t responsible for his followers, and during photo ops you can’t really stop and check every sign.  Further, this is kinda funny.  Still, if you’re Mitt Romney, you might not want to give anyone any more reason to wonder about you.  I know the Mitt fans are going to hate that comment, but he’s on decidedly thin ice anyway, and I see no reason to hand the guy with the gun some bullets.  The Mormon vote can’t get him elected, so he might want to make sure and not alienate “others” with stupid photo op tricks.

http://politicalticker.blogs.cnn.com/

Lil Wayne and Ja Rule got arrested Sunday night on weapons charges.  Lil Wayne also got zapped with drug charges.  I really have to know.  What is with hip hop stars these days? Do they think they’re in the NFL?

http://www.cnn.com/2007/SHOWBIZ/Music/07/23/rappers.arrested/index.html

You may not like him, But nobody packs a punch in publishing like Harry Potter.  The latest book “harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows sold 8.3 million hardcover copies in the U.S. in the first 24 hours.  That shatters the old record of 6.9 copies of…yep, The Half Blood Prince.

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,290346,00.html

The worst flooding in 60 years in Great Britain.  I’m not surprised.  Al Gore has not done enough to stop Global Wetting, and now you see the consequences.  Had he not spent so much time inventing the internet this tragedy could easily have been prevented.

http://www.mail.com/newsarticle.aspx?catId=3&articleId=1147296

whoops…i bet this guy supports gay marriage now. This is pretty funny stuff. His wife got licked, and he got stuck.

http://www.mail.com/NewsArticle.aspx?catId=2&articleId=1147225&newssiteid=1

sunday is for random thoughts #7

1.  how can our congress hold the Iraqi government accountable for reaching benchmarks?  What exactly have they accomplished this year?

2.  The Beckhams are here.  Soccer still sucks, and we already had enough inane women in Hollywood.  I wouldn’t call it a lose/lose, but it certainly doesn’t change the status quo.

3.  over 11,000 citations have been written in Seattle using “red light cams.”  Big brother may not be watching you, but big traffic cop is.  Can we say “cash cow” boys and girls.  BTW, these are advocated by the insurance industry.  Accidents go down, your rates keep going up.  That is some cool business they have.  The city pays for the cameras, your tickets buy all kinds of new things that the police can violate your rights with, and auto insurance companies have to pay out less claims.

4.    Religion does not grant morality.  If you don’t believe me ask your priest to get off the altar boy so you can talk to him about it.

5.   Morality is not as fun as immorality, but you get to go to a mythical place when you die.  I’m going to o’malleys.  They are going to cremate me and lacquer my ashes into the bar.

6.  pomegrante Smirnoffs are quite the tasty libation.  If you feel a little gay drinking them,  throw the empties away in the neighbors trash, and not even your garbage man will know.

7.  I have lost 14 pounds since may with my new weight loss regimen.  It’s called “work.”  Pretty catchy, hunh?  It works as well as Alli and no pants crapping.

8.    I bought the new Harry Potter book yesterday.  It’s very disappointing.  I don’t like the cover art, and it weighs less than 5 pounds.  No, I haven’t started reading it yet.

9.   I woke up to the sound of roscoe banging his head against his water bottle.  Sooner or later I can drive anything crazy.

10.  Senator Feingold has proposed censuring Bush.  Only because proposing to beat him with a bat would’ve got him arrested.

11. I think Michael Vick is a real shithead, but I don’t think that a federal government that uses dogs to sniff out landmines has a lot of room to talk.

12.  You shouldn’t speak ill of the dead.  It’s just not proper, and they can’t hear you so you don’t get the joy of pissing them off. 

13.  Introspection is the root of all evil.  I’m going to contemplate that in terms of my own life for awhile, and then i’ll tell you why.

14.  Flooding in japan, texas, great britain, kansas, and all over south east asia in just the last month.  If I turn on the news I’ll bet I see Al Gore whining about the problem of Global Wetting.

15.   Ron Paul is now at 2% in the polls.  Throw in the margin of error and he is exactly where he was when his campaign started.  I’m betting his followers have a different take on this, but they have a different take on spaghettios, as well.

16.  I am pro spaghettio’s…in case you were wondering.

17.  If elections were held today it would be Hillary Vs. Rudy.  Why do I feel underwhelmed about the future?

18.  Don’t look now, but nothing has changed since last week, all the good intentions, bad events, and political posturing haven’t changed anything.  oh wait, I’m one book that I haven’t read richer.  Enjoy your week.