the sex in the news thing….again

September 1, 2007

Sorry, can’t help it.  Not my fault sex is so newsworthy.  It’s all you voyeurs that can’t seem to quit peeping into the private  ives of others.  Actually, some of these are kind of public, and at least one or two will just plain make you shake your head.

     Here’s a wierd blowjob/insertion story for you. When this guy said there was a new sheriff in town, he meant it.  there are a couple of more experienced officers as well.  I’m dying to know what the word object refers to here?  A buick?  a cob of corn? a hamster?  what are we talking here, and will it change the severity of the crime?

the number of adult virgins having plummetted to the single digits world wide, this is how deep you need to go to find a hot virgin story.

    In the “fat chicks need love. too, section” we have a bit of a freak.  Not only does savitri take off with some stud thats new in town and a little bit wild, but apparently this dame left her lesbian lover to do it, breaking her po’ tubby heart.  Oh quit whining about the fattie bullshit, and check this out.

    This is either our gay sex segment or our” he wanted to do what in the crapper?” segment.  Let me explain it to you one more time larry.  Barney is a democrat so he can pack all the ass he wants and not lose his job.  you are a Republican, and “picking up a piece of paper,” (clever euphemism for “I want you to pound my shitter till I scream for my momma right here in this restroom, cowpoke”), means you have to resign.  You can go chase boys in Boise, but you can’t do it here.  Yeah,  Larry’s pals… a great group of gays….guy’s, I meant guys.

  In our “no sex for you” section we have abstinence run amok.  Or maybe “run a monk.”  If you don’t have sex for years you end up arguing about something stupid written on the internet.  To say nothing of night seepage, blue balls, and a disposition like a hophead jonesin for a fix.

Oh man, what a dick.  Someone really needs to kick this guys ass.  Again.  I think it should probably be a weekly event.