more sex in the news

August 28, 2007

you west coasters  are pagans or heathens anyway so here’s a bonafide opportunity to get naked and jump in a pile.  Nothing like a lunar event.

what kind of an idiot tries to pass off fake bills in a strip club?  Like women who get paid via the tried and true methood called “tucking” aren’t going to recognize the feel of fake money?

 ahhhhhh, panda sex…it doesn’t get any better than this.  This girl failed to get another girl panda pregnant…awwww read it…its good stuff.

what would sex in the news be without a large cock?  No not a male chicken you dolt. 

I would suppose that guys coupling would count as gay sex.  Noy as glitzy as brokeback mountain, but interesting. 

cool…CBN brings us how to stay married to that adulterous scum spouse of yours.  Nothing like christians to teach you how to fix your sin filled life.

have fun….if you were looking for porn.  Tough


the debate (the criminy perspective)

July 24, 2007

  Well, that was fun.  It wasn’t a debate.  It was a forum, but thats a semantic thing.  I have a few observations.  Some of them might even come off as intelligent.  We’ll see.

The I look presidential, I sound presidential, and I will be the next president award goes to (someone just shoot me now) Hillary Clinton.  She did look presidential…except for the female and we’ve never had a female president thing  I was pretty impressed by her.  I still don’t like her, but you have to admit the pantyline made her seem more human.  I would bet against anyone that underestimates her. 

Universal healthcare may be the hammer that destroys the democratic party.  How about limiting it to health care for the indigent, children, elderly and handicapped?

The I don’t really know how this works award goes to Barack Obama for saying he would directly meet with Chavez,Castro, Kim Jong Il, Assad, and Ahmadinejad.  Hillary and Edwards we’re quick to jump on the diplomatic faux pas.  It worries me a little that I knew all their names…my memory should be shot by now.

Who I could vote for award goes to – Joe Biden.  He makes sense.  He’s been around the block, he isn’t some rich fat cat looking to pad his fortune, and he’s been serving this country through a ton of personal strife.  I like the idea of partitioning Iraq, since there is no other idea that has any chance of working.  If it wasn’t for his voting record in congress he’d be the man.  I loved “If thats your baby, you need help” and the followup “I hope he doesn’t come looking for me.”  I also like his position on troops to Darfur

The “surprise criminy” award goes to Bill Richardson for not reciting his diplomatic resume no matter what the question was about.

The I not only look crazy I am crazy award goes to Dennis Kucinich for suggesting that people alive today deserve reperations for something that ended 142 years ago.

The I’m in control (anyone remember Alexander Haig) award goes to Anderson Cooper.  This is no Wolf Blitzer.  He handled things as moderator impeccably.  This guy really never looks bad no matter what he is doing, and I can think of a gazillion journalists(sycophants) that need to watch him and try to emulate him.  If you don’t believe me go over to you tube and get a copy of Sean Hannity’s interview with Huffington.  He is the only idiot on the planet that could make her look intellectual.

The whineass award goes to Mike Gravel…even though i really like this guy.  The reason you are not asked a lot of questions is because you are a marginal candidate.  I liked his firm stance on the died in vain controversy.  I know it’s hard to take, but if you die fighting for a cause, and have no affect on future events…then you probably from that perspective died in vain.

I’m not giving chris dodd an award.  I’m just going to say that I was wrong to judge this guy by his behaviour in senate hearings.  He’s lucid, earnest, and has a reasonable vision for the future if you remove all the stupid I have to say this to please my base rhetoric.  Nice job Chris.

minor notes:

I think it’s cute how they all rail against special interests and corporations.  I particularly liked the corporate carbon penalty idea.  What I think a lot of people don’t realize is that the more we regulate our industries, and force them to pay the costs…the less able they are to compete in the global market that these same public officials created.  I know it sounds good, but we are flat getting our asses kicked in global trade, and it’s because the countries that are eating our lunch are not being regulated the way we are.

Bill Richardsons 40K minimum wage for teachers.  That sounds nice don’t it…ok…i have a confession…I’ve been working at my current job since January.  I will make substantially more than 40K this year.  Here comes the good part.  I’m a painter.  I don’t know about you, but I think a society that pays its teachers less than it pays its painters deserves whatever fate hell can dream up for it.

I want to find fault with healthcare for illegal aliens but i can’t.everyone should receive medical attention if they need it, and under current law, believe it or not…you do.  Hospitals can not refuse to treat you.  They can transfer you to another facility, but you have to be treated.  Insured or not.  In theory.

   The gay marriage issue I’m going to do a flip flop on.  It’s not governments business.  I think what Obama said was right.  If churches wish to honor gay marriage thats fine.  It is a civil matter.  I do think that they should have all the same rights and privileges as married couples, but think they should have all the same costs.  Once entered into a civil union they should have to get a divorce to break it, and pay all the appropriate alimonies child support etc that the court deems appropriate .  Thats what I call getting kissed before you get f%$ked.

I thought it was nice of all these wonderful religious people to think it’s okay for people not to be religious, and to think they should still have a voice in our society.  It was very inclusive of them. *smack*

All in all it was entertaining.  Some of it was funny, some of it was sad, some of it was just plain stupid.  A typical presidential candidate forum.


not really newsworthy

July 23, 2007

   Lets start with tonights debate.  The spin machine is pumping out what a new and different thing the You Tube debate will be.  Ok, tell me how?  Because “you” are asking the questions.  Lets look at that.  Over 2000 clips have been submitted according to CNN.  Obviously, they don’t have time in two hours to ask 2000 questions.  How do we pare it down?  Well, lets have CNN’s editors do it.  Out of 2000 maybe 30 will be used.  It’s not much of a stretch to imagine that the 30 will be those that CNN wants asked.  The only input you have is whether you wear a silly hat, or hold your stupid fleabitten cat while you ask it.  This is the first debate sanctioned by The Democratic National Committee this election cycle.  What to expect?  I think John Edwards and Barack Obama have to be more aggressive.  Edwards because if he doesn’t he is dead, and Barack just to show that he is capable of it.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/nf/20070723/tc_nf/54047

   I wonder which $2000 suit wearing reject allowed the Republican debate to be held in September?  Seems to me something real serious is going down in terms of Iraq that month, and it is likely to turn the Republican debate into a free for all.  Which is good for the viewers, and for Ron Paul, but it sandbags the hell out of the hawks on stage.  If I we’re Giuliani, McCain, and Romney I’d be mad as hell.  Why?  Well, do you think much is going to change in the next month and a half in Iraq?  Yeah, me either.  The Republican governors say its no big deal that their isn’t a front runner.  They may be right.  Conservatives are notoriously tight with their campaign funding until it shakes out, meaning they’ll be lots of money for the stretch run, and the geneal election.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20070723/ap_on_el_pr/republican_governors_2;_ylt=Ag.2ypj8XxumGruFLpERpQgL1vAI

   Have you paid your “support dead farmers” tax?  In a 7 year period over $1.1 billion in subsidies was paid to dead farmers.  The U.S. Department of Agriculture pays out over 40% of claims without any review process at all.  In most cases they rely on the farm corporations to inform them of a death.  They say staff shortages and competing priorities are to blame.  Another government agency tossing your money out the window, and generally to people one hell of a lot richer than you.   Don’t believe me? Read the article.  They’re spending money you could be putting away for your childs tuition to subsidize giant farm companies worth millions.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/19912382/

I was reading this and started doing the math.  .09 cents is 3%.  That means you now pay roughly $3.00 for a cup of coffee?  Oh man, you deserve to be bent over and rammed by Starbucks.  That’s pretty much the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/19918485/

Obama, Osama, and Chelsea’s Momma?  Well isn’t that clever.  I can understand Mitt’s argument.  He isn’t responsible for his followers, and during photo ops you can’t really stop and check every sign.  Further, this is kinda funny.  Still, if you’re Mitt Romney, you might not want to give anyone any more reason to wonder about you.  I know the Mitt fans are going to hate that comment, but he’s on decidedly thin ice anyway, and I see no reason to hand the guy with the gun some bullets.  The Mormon vote can’t get him elected, so he might want to make sure and not alienate “others” with stupid photo op tricks.

http://politicalticker.blogs.cnn.com/

Lil Wayne and Ja Rule got arrested Sunday night on weapons charges.  Lil Wayne also got zapped with drug charges.  I really have to know.  What is with hip hop stars these days? Do they think they’re in the NFL?

http://www.cnn.com/2007/SHOWBIZ/Music/07/23/rappers.arrested/index.html

You may not like him, But nobody packs a punch in publishing like Harry Potter.  The latest book “harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows sold 8.3 million hardcover copies in the U.S. in the first 24 hours.  That shatters the old record of 6.9 copies of…yep, The Half Blood Prince.

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,290346,00.html

The worst flooding in 60 years in Great Britain.  I’m not surprised.  Al Gore has not done enough to stop Global Wetting, and now you see the consequences.  Had he not spent so much time inventing the internet this tragedy could easily have been prevented.

http://www.mail.com/newsarticle.aspx?catId=3&articleId=1147296

whoops…i bet this guy supports gay marriage now. This is pretty funny stuff. His wife got licked, and he got stuck.

http://www.mail.com/NewsArticle.aspx?catId=2&articleId=1147225&newssiteid=1


Because you asked

July 17, 2007

  I’ve been told Its hard to figure out where I stand politically.  A lot.  I’m not that hard to figure out.  what you do is take a basic amount of common sense, a strong desire to leave other people to hell alone, and an even stronger desire to be left alone, and you have my political viewpoint.

I should end this post right there, but then I’d have people praying for roscoe to chew my nads off , and we can’t have that.  So what I’m going to do is list some things I feel strongly about, why I feel that way, and maybe even ad lib a little..just for a change of pace.

Abortion.  I think this is the issue rolled out every four years to incite the masses so that we can get a whopping half the people in this country to vote.  I am neither for nor against.  I do not have ovaries.  what I am for is letting a woman choose what to do with her body.

Gun control.  very important.  If you don’t have control you may not hit what you’re aiming at, and I’m very anti-miss on that.  I think guns are inanimate objects, and therefore should not be legislated against. I do however believe that because people are so incredibly messed in the head that it should be a very difficult process to get a gun.  There should be medical and criminal background checks, including fingerprinting.  there should be at least a 30 day waiting period, and each state should have a “gun board” that deals in nothing but approving or disapproving gun purchases.

Healthcare:  I believe there should be a safety net for those who are not able to work, and I believe that if you have the wherewithal to hire people you should have the wherewithal to insure them.  If this means controlling the cost of insurance I’m ok with that.  Lets face it, demanding that we carry auto insurance causes car insurance to go up.  If the government is willing to force prices upward they should also force prices downward.

foreign policy.  Its hard to negotiate when you’re the toughest dog on the block.  you’d rather just bite the bastard that’s pissing you off and get it over with.  I think the use of our military globally should be a last resort, and when diplomacy fails and it is used we should use it without mercy.  If it’s worth going to war over it is worth doing the “terrible swift sword” thing, and annihilating the opposition.

Immigration.  Unlawful immigrants should be detained and removed without prejudice.  they should be able to have a hearing to seek political asylum and then should be sent home.  Legal immigration should be open to anyone without regard to need,  ability or ethnicity.  A lottery would work fine as far as i’m concerned.  We make issues like this harder than they are.  has anyone sought to grant amnesty to the millions of americans who went to prison for crimes against property (versus crimes against a person)? Nope.  They let them carry that label for life. So why give amnesty to people that come from elsewhere illegally?

Voters rights.  This one is the cause of all our problems.  I don’t think just anyone should be allowed to vote.  I think you should be required to pass a test.  Voting should never be a right, but rather a privilege for those who take the time to understand what is going on.  Don’t hand me crap about to expensive and to time consuming.  The Bureau of Motor Vehicles could administer the test along with your driving test.

Gay Rights.  I’ve known a lot of gay people.  they act just like hetero people…except for the whole sex thing.  This one is simple.  they should have the same rights as anyone else, including marriage.  What do I care if rosie wants to marry Paula Abdul? or If Ron Paul wants to marry Henry Gibson?  I don’t care if you marry a panda as long as you keep your hand off my ass without my consent

political corruption.  This should be treated like a cop who commits  murder.  They have been put in a position of trust, and if found guilty the punishment should be fair firm and impartial.  Loss of all benefits should be part of the punishment, and the sentence should reflect the feelings of society at large…in other words if they embezzle tax payer money the sentence should be the same as if they embezzled funds from a company. If a congressman wants to go there and do nothing ala Ron Paul then the voters have the choice to get rid of him…thats not a crime.

sex crimes.  I love the registry, but I think we need to go further.  I think the deth penalty should be an option on the second offense, and no less than 20 years in prison on the first. I know its a disease they say, but a lot of this type of diseases can be cured with a bullet through the medulla oblongata.  No mercy for these sicko’s that destroy others lives, and to be honest they should start by imprisoning the judges who make light of sex crimes…and there are a lot of them.

Diet soda.  It should be outlawed.   No questions asked, and the people who produce it should be taken into the town square and be flogged until they are unconscious.  All diet soda’s taste worse than …well…anything else.

Corporal punishment.  I am for.  If you get caught stealing a good asswhipping in front of the townspeople will  probably discourage that behaviour in yourself and those who view it.  We spend to much money on incarceration when flogging would be inexpensive, and quite likely more effective.

capital punishment.  I’m okay with it if the case is a prima facie case.  No other case should even have it as an option.  Certainly not a circumstantial case.  Here again though it should be public.  Let everyone see exactly what happens when you kill your wife, or nanuk at the convenience store.  Deterrance hidden behind walls is not deterrance.

this isn’t everything, but it makes a nice starting point.