Two monkeys, a rabbit, and an idiot preserve

February 8, 2008

    If you’ve been here before you may have already heard the expression “like 2 monkeys fucking a football.”  What it means is there’s a whole lot of activity, and not much accomplishment.  Well, it has defintely been that kind of week.  This may turn into scatalogical drivel in a minute, so you can stop here if you’d like.  You’ve probably learned something already, and the value of that should never be underestimated.

    I missed all but Monday at work.  My daughter’s been running a fever, and gasping, and wheezing, and on our third trip…yep, third, the little shitheel looks up from his stethoscope and proclaims “I think she has pneumonia.”  Now I’m not a physician, but I’m thinking from day one it’s bronchitis or pneumonia, and told him so on the first visit.  This of course has caused a bit of an epiphany.

    I don’t use doctors much.  I find their cost generally outweighs their value, especially since pharmaceuticals are generally readily available on the sidewalk out front.    Having learned over the course of the last couple of months that the system is incredibly rife with profiteering and outright fraud I question the intelligence of getting the government anymore involved.  The hand specialist that has been treating me is raking in (this is an estimate based on actual time spent working on my hand) 18k an hour.  I don’t mind this so much, but had i not had insurance I would’ve stitched the frankenstein finger and let the other bones set on their own.  I doubt I’d be any worse off, though the scarirng may have scared small children; an undervalued gift that.

   Then the pharmacy was the original clusterfuck from hell.  My bad.  I went to walmart.  Generally I find walmart to be sufficient to the need for supplying things like paper, flour, and shampoo.  My experience has been that while semiliterate cretins would serve the rest of us best by being expunged from the gene pool, a decent alternative is putting them to work, and walmart serves this function admirably.  You do not, however, want them filling your prescriptions for you.  I spent an hour trying to assist them in getting it right as they ran hither and yon to no little effect.  I finally just took my prescriptions back, complimented them on their exemplary display of ineptitude, and contemplated as I exited the premises how much I would rather eat shit from the dispenser than go through that again.  I then went to the Walgreens, and for 1.05 more was out the door in 12 minutes.  Another thoroughly satisfied customer.

    The pace de resistance to my week was when I arrived home to find general tso wrapped in the embrace of an entirely to dead Roscoe.  I knew that sooner or later his lechery would be the death of him, but always assumed he would die of a heart attack while pulling his 3 pound furry jackhammer routine on my ankle.  I was a bit put out by it all.  Does this mean that that fucking cat is a better lay than me, or was it a simple case of his number was up?  Whatever the case, I suppose I should be thankful that he gave me something to contemplate other than how deeply I despise the human race at this particular juncture.  I left out politics here, as it would get me back to full roar on the whole despise thing, but I’ll break it out after I chase a couple of rum and cokes with a couple vicodin….kind of a Heath Ledger cocktail.

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Ron Paul; by the numbers

August 25, 2007

   I have come to the conclusion that people really don’t wish to support a candidate without understanding what effect the candidates platform will have on them economically.  That being the case, I thought I’d share with you The fiscal impact Ron Paul’s vision will have on you.  First, I’ll give it to you scientifically.

1.   uh, I dunno.

That takes care of the scientifically derived at numbers for Ron Paul’s issues.  Now we shall move on to the rhetorical.

1.  uh, I dunno.

   You see, Ron Paul isn’t giving us any numbers.  There is nothing substantive in what he says.  He will save us money by ending the war, but then he will spend it defending our borders.  There is no economic model designed to tell us what his constitutional form of government will cost/benefit us, but rather merely the assurances of the good Dr. and his merry men.  I suppose a Robin Hood analogy is inappropriate, because from what I can tell the one thing that is certain is that the poor will be screwed severely by a Ron Paul presidency.  That hardly matters of course, because poor people vote democrat, don’t they?  Hardly, but they aren’t going to be voting for Ron Paul.  They know he hates them, as do any liberals that have paid attention over the last two decades of Ron Paul in office.

    The crossover vote isn’t going to happen.  The vast left wing media armada will put the boots to Ron the minute he appears to be a viable candidate.  The left wing blog world already has, and if you read the daily kos you know what I mean.  Basically, Ron Paul’s only supporters are those who dream of a mythological kingdom where honesty and fairplay conquers reality, and a small time doctor can live his dream of  colonial domination.

   Show me some numbers.  Anybody.  Give me something tangible that would make me think Ron Paul would make my life better.  Don’t offer me his dream of freedom, because freedom in todays society is something you have to take.  Don’t give me more rhetoric about the free market making everything right.  The free market has long been fraught with fraud and corruption, and in no way benefits the vast majority of American people.

   It’s smoke and mirrors gang, until he proves otherwise, and thats why the mainstream media doesn’t cover his campaign.  There is virtually nothing to cover.