If you’ve been here before you may have already heard the expression “like 2 monkeys fucking a football.” What it means is there’s a whole lot of activity, and not much accomplishment. Well, it has defintely been that kind of week. This may turn into scatalogical drivel in a minute, so you can stop here if you’d like. You’ve probably learned something already, and the value of that should never be underestimated.
I missed all but Monday at work. My daughter’s been running a fever, and gasping, and wheezing, and on our third trip…yep, third, the little shitheel looks up from his stethoscope and proclaims “I think she has pneumonia.” Now I’m not a physician, but I’m thinking from day one it’s bronchitis or pneumonia, and told him so on the first visit. This of course has caused a bit of an epiphany.
I don’t use doctors much. I find their cost generally outweighs their value, especially since pharmaceuticals are generally readily available on the sidewalk out front. Having learned over the course of the last couple of months that the system is incredibly rife with profiteering and outright fraud I question the intelligence of getting the government anymore involved. The hand specialist that has been treating me is raking in (this is an estimate based on actual time spent working on my hand) 18k an hour. I don’t mind this so much, but had i not had insurance I would’ve stitched the frankenstein finger and let the other bones set on their own. I doubt I’d be any worse off, though the scarirng may have scared small children; an undervalued gift that.
Then the pharmacy was the original clusterfuck from hell. My bad. I went to walmart. Generally I find walmart to be sufficient to the need for supplying things like paper, flour, and shampoo. My experience has been that while semiliterate cretins would serve the rest of us best by being expunged from the gene pool, a decent alternative is putting them to work, and walmart serves this function admirably. You do not, however, want them filling your prescriptions for you. I spent an hour trying to assist them in getting it right as they ran hither and yon to no little effect. I finally just took my prescriptions back, complimented them on their exemplary display of ineptitude, and contemplated as I exited the premises how much I would rather eat shit from the dispenser than go through that again. I then went to the Walgreens, and for 1.05 more was out the door in 12 minutes. Another thoroughly satisfied customer.
The pace de resistance to my week was when I arrived home to find general tso wrapped in the embrace of an entirely to dead Roscoe. I knew that sooner or later his lechery would be the death of him, but always assumed he would die of a heart attack while pulling his 3 pound furry jackhammer routine on my ankle. I was a bit put out by it all. Does this mean that that fucking cat is a better lay than me, or was it a simple case of his number was up? Whatever the case, I suppose I should be thankful that he gave me something to contemplate other than how deeply I despise the human race at this particular juncture. I left out politics here, as it would get me back to full roar on the whole despise thing, but I’ll break it out after I chase a couple of rum and cokes with a couple vicodin….kind of a Heath Ledger cocktail.
the debate (the criminy perspective)
July 24, 2007Well, that was fun. It wasn’t a debate. It was a forum, but thats a semantic thing. I have a few observations. Some of them might even come off as intelligent. We’ll see.
The I look presidential, I sound presidential, and I will be the next president award goes to (someone just shoot me now) Hillary Clinton. She did look presidential…except for the female and we’ve never had a female president thing I was pretty impressed by her. I still don’t like her, but you have to admit the pantyline made her seem more human. I would bet against anyone that underestimates her.
Universal healthcare may be the hammer that destroys the democratic party. How about limiting it to health care for the indigent, children, elderly and handicapped?
The I don’t really know how this works award goes to Barack Obama for saying he would directly meet with Chavez,Castro, Kim Jong Il, Assad, and Ahmadinejad. Hillary and Edwards we’re quick to jump on the diplomatic faux pas. It worries me a little that I knew all their names…my memory should be shot by now.
Who I could vote for award goes to – Joe Biden. He makes sense. He’s been around the block, he isn’t some rich fat cat looking to pad his fortune, and he’s been serving this country through a ton of personal strife. I like the idea of partitioning Iraq, since there is no other idea that has any chance of working. If it wasn’t for his voting record in congress he’d be the man. I loved “If thats your baby, you need help” and the followup “I hope he doesn’t come looking for me.” I also like his position on troops to Darfur
The “surprise criminy” award goes to Bill Richardson for not reciting his diplomatic resume no matter what the question was about.
The I not only look crazy I am crazy award goes to Dennis Kucinich for suggesting that people alive today deserve reperations for something that ended 142 years ago.
The I’m in control (anyone remember Alexander Haig) award goes to Anderson Cooper. This is no Wolf Blitzer. He handled things as moderator impeccably. This guy really never looks bad no matter what he is doing, and I can think of a gazillion journalists(sycophants) that need to watch him and try to emulate him. If you don’t believe me go over to you tube and get a copy of Sean Hannity’s interview with Huffington. He is the only idiot on the planet that could make her look intellectual.
The whineass award goes to Mike Gravel…even though i really like this guy. The reason you are not asked a lot of questions is because you are a marginal candidate. I liked his firm stance on the died in vain controversy. I know it’s hard to take, but if you die fighting for a cause, and have no affect on future events…then you probably from that perspective died in vain.
I’m not giving chris dodd an award. I’m just going to say that I was wrong to judge this guy by his behaviour in senate hearings. He’s lucid, earnest, and has a reasonable vision for the future if you remove all the stupid I have to say this to please my base rhetoric. Nice job Chris.
minor notes:
I think it’s cute how they all rail against special interests and corporations. I particularly liked the corporate carbon penalty idea. What I think a lot of people don’t realize is that the more we regulate our industries, and force them to pay the costs…the less able they are to compete in the global market that these same public officials created. I know it sounds good, but we are flat getting our asses kicked in global trade, and it’s because the countries that are eating our lunch are not being regulated the way we are.
Bill Richardsons 40K minimum wage for teachers. That sounds nice don’t it…ok…i have a confession…I’ve been working at my current job since January. I will make substantially more than 40K this year. Here comes the good part. I’m a painter. I don’t know about you, but I think a society that pays its teachers less than it pays its painters deserves whatever fate hell can dream up for it.
I want to find fault with healthcare for illegal aliens but i can’t.everyone should receive medical attention if they need it, and under current law, believe it or not…you do. Hospitals can not refuse to treat you. They can transfer you to another facility, but you have to be treated. Insured or not. In theory.
The gay marriage issue I’m going to do a flip flop on. It’s not governments business. I think what Obama said was right. If churches wish to honor gay marriage thats fine. It is a civil matter. I do think that they should have all the same rights and privileges as married couples, but think they should have all the same costs. Once entered into a civil union they should have to get a divorce to break it, and pay all the appropriate alimonies child support etc that the court deems appropriate . Thats what I call getting kissed before you get f%$ked.
I thought it was nice of all these wonderful religious people to think it’s okay for people not to be religious, and to think they should still have a voice in our society. It was very inclusive of them. *smack*
All in all it was entertaining. Some of it was funny, some of it was sad, some of it was just plain stupid. A typical presidential candidate forum.