Ron Paul in the spotlight

   An ABC news story about Ron Paul?  Whoa baby.  That oughtta get the genital juices flowing.  I fear a run on 6 packs, gun racks, and tighty whities.  It’s not much of an article.  They mainly rehash his wikipedia bio and talk about how I’mpressive his $3 million in campaign cash is.  They even say that his followers say that he could be a serious underdog candidate.  Oh man, thats about the kind of glowing reference I’d give my ex.  “her mom says she is nice,” and “when she isn’t demanding that you do everything her way, she might have real potential” her preacher stated.

   Really though, that’s who Ron Paul is.  He’s the ex.  Ex-libertarian, ex-doctor,  ex-communicated republican.  He continues to turn in the big 2% poll numbers, and if nothing else his followers don’t lack for persistence.  They will annoy the hell out of anyone that will listen about how this is the right man for our country.  Never mind that between his religious beliefs, and his political positions, even his followers can’t quite figure out what to call him.  I’m sticking with no hoper, until he can spin out a double digit number in any forum other than the net.  You have to leave your computer to vote, so his following here doesn’t count really.

6 a. m. hateful

it occurs to me that the more ignorant the comments get the better I feel.  I’m now even reaching dumbasses and getting them to think in their own little take-out-their-brain-and-play-with-it way.

its raining hard.  Thats bad.  when it rains in indy everyone becomes an idiot, and driving to work is more adventurous than Indiana Jones and The Temple of Doom

i hate my friggin pets.  They are noisy, inconsiderate, and only just barely more intelligent than your average Libertarian.

Oh shut up and go back to sleep

i’m outta here

Ron Paul has more great news

Does it ever stop?  Ron Paul is riding the juggernaut, and it just keeps getting better.  I’d be willing to bet that he fears it’s a dream, but isn’t willing to pinch himself to find out.First he gets put on a coin, and then he leads all candidates in donations from the military.  One would think that would be enough, but the news keeps getting better and better.  Here’s a list of things I’ve pulled off the wire in the last 2 hours.

The first Pauliac has graduated from the Libertarian College of Shoe Tying.

A young boy in Piedmont, North Carolina donated an empty soda bottle, a ball of string, and three rubberbands to the Paul Campaign.

Ron’s poll numbers jumped a staggering .00007% amongst undecided voters who might vote if they aren’t to drunk to drive.

A clairvouyant asserts that Ho Chi Minh told her that Ron Paul is right.  The pullout from Vietnam did go better than anyone expected.  He had intended to kill 6 million people, not Just 3 million.

 The Bubba Gump Shrimp Company has agreed to let Ron have free shrimp for life for his efforts to subsidize the shrimp industry.

An International Oil Consortium has bestowed upon Ron the title One Oily Bastard for his efforts to subsidize off shore oil exploration with tax payer dollars.

An old fat lonely lady in biloxi has named her cats ron and paul in honor of her favorite candidate.

Every single muslim in the middle east thinks Ron Paul is a better man than Salman Rushdie.

700 militiamen have sworn affidavits that they did in fact spell Ron Paul’s first name correctly on the gun rack of their trucks.  In the only bad news for Ron this week, only 12 of them got his last name right.

 Mensa has released a study that proves Ron Paul has “at least” a double digit following of people with IQ’s over 73.

   Them are just the important notes folks.  i dredged through 5000 or so that i thought didn’t make the cut as big news.

Authors note:  while this post has a minor degree of humor in it, this is the type of news that keeps Ron Paul fans the world over orgasming in there sleep.  I’ve found 350 blogs about his big win in the military donation arena…and still counting.

watch me pull a barrel of oil out of this hat

  George you retard.  what are you thinking.  This camelbanger Maliki says we can leave whenever we want.  Pay attention here big fella. WE WANT.  They’re ready for doom.  They know that no matter how long we stay they are doomed to die horrible deaths on the shifting sands of the Muddle East (not a typo).  We can’t win this, they can’t survive this, so let’s quit putting off the inevitable.  I know it bites to be wrong.  I hate it to.  Yet when you have the temerity to think you can pull down the only powerful secular leader in a region full of oil and extremism, you kind of have to expect to fail.  Going in was a mistake.  Staying in once the leader they chose says you may go is, dare I say it? Anti-American.

     Ron Paul declares that the U.S. will not declare war on Iran, but will rather trick them into a confrontation.  I like Ron’s position on many things, but realize that he is a waste of time.  He has the ability to ensure a democrat wins the presidency, but his myopic libertarian stance is sure to make him unelectable.  I read an interesting peice on libertarians that all political junkies should read.  Duck, here comes the LINK.  Do not judge a book by its cover.  This post is well written, factual, and the title and name of the blog just add a little humor.

wag the dog.  Here is a tip for some of you that just like international intrigue.  It’s not real factual stuff.  I’ve been reading it for awhile.  It’s amazing how the internet can have an impact on what is at best a minor issue.  type Iranian oil bourse in your browser, and enjoy the tale.

the blog is doing well.  I likely post to often, but it’s mine, I’ll play with it if i want.  I first used that argument when i was 13 and was in the bathroom and…nevermind.  I found a new site I like. the pic caught my eye, and then what the blogger was doing piqued my interest.  It’s well done, and fun so what the hell.  Go look at the pic if you do nothing else.

 Since I haven’t dug up many new decent blogs let me pitch a couple things i’ve found on some old ones.

  Anita is at it again with her unfinished stories.  what a concept.  Let the reader torture themselves about how it ends.  I really liked this one.

MDVP is on hiatus over at forest opine while he works on his islamo-magnum-opus.  A fun thing to do while he is away is to read his hiatus post backwards.  It will make Al Gore appear in hologram in your bathroom.

  If you ever wander past celluloid blonde, and you scroll like 86 feet down to the bottom, there is a little tab marked Random Blonde.  You won’t like everything you find there, and some of you may not like it at all.  I personally highly recommend it for its variety, brevity, and creativity.  the pictures are great, the storytelling emotional, and the blurbs sometimes outrageous.  Take the post apocalyptic you quiz while you’re there.

  Roscoe the wonder bunny has a new collar and leash.  i have belled the bunny.  It’s my version of the sexual predator registry.  now when he wants a little ankle time I’ll here him coming.

That takes care of this week in my world.  Oh yeah, 6 a.m. hateful has been well received.  I’m not doing it on the weekends because who wants to hear that crap on their days off.

What is a Pauliac? (quiz)

  Pauliac: paw-lee-ack  A zealous follower of Ron Paul, manifesting itself primarily on the internet, but can also be found scattered across the Northern Mexico Territory of Texas, and in small enclave’s scattered across North America.

How To Tell If You Are A Pauliac

Each yes answer is worth one point.  Scoring is at the bottom.

1.  Have you voted more than once in the same online poll?

2.  Does your reading comprehension decrease when you read something negative about Ron Paul?

3.  Have you caught yourself saying “but the other candidates are worse” in lieu of an actual point in an argument about Ron Paul?

4.  Do you own more than 7 handguns and belong to a militia?

5.  Do you think racism is blown out of proportion, and not really relevant in todays society?

6.  Have you ever drooled more than a quart while on one of your famous tirades about the magnificence of Ron Paul?

7.  Do you think libertarian means “the complete destruction of the federal government” in favor of a totalitarian regime led my the miniscule marvel?

8.  Have most of your friends stopped talking to you, and do your neighbors drive around the block rather than have to wave to your crazy ass?

9.  Do you believe taxes should be like the earth….flat?

10.  Have you ever when locked in your bathroom reading Ron Paul Today with your pants around your ankles thought, “man he is such a hunk?”

11.  in your Ron Paul loving lexicon, is liberal defined as “gay” and is conservative defined as “fascist?”

12.  Do you think criminyjicket is the wisest blogger on the face of the earth?

if you answered yes to 12 questions you are utterly confused, and not allowed to vote because you are currently incarcerated in a penal or mental institution.

if you answered yes to 11 questions you are not only a pauliac, but are also being sought by the law in at least four states, and by unwed mothers in at least three others.

if you answered yes to between 6-10 questions you are a garden variety Pauliac.  There is no hope for you.  You will spend the next 1.5 years walking in the shadow of his vainglorious personage, utterly convinced he has a chance.  You will spend the 4 years after that saying “things would have been different if Ron Paul hadn’t been ignored by the media.

if you answered yes to between 3 and-5 questions you are a pauliac, but you’ll get over it when you realize that he is just another politician.

if you answered yes to 2 questions, and neither of them was number 12, you are a liberal.  You just haven’t figured out yet that Ron Paul Hates You.

if you answered yes to only one question and it was not number 12, you are a centrist.  Once it all sorts itself out you will vote for the democratic candidate that wins the primary.

if you answered yes to only one question and it was number 12, you are either a blood relative, incredibly bright, or are sucking up to me in hopes of suckering me out of something later.

just news stuff….my way

so In New Hampshire, you can register to vote as an independent, but only Republicans and Democrats are allowed to run in the state primary.  44% of New Hampshire’s voters are registered independent, making them one of the most independent in the country.  Now if a third party can’t get a fair shake in New Hampshire…?

One more heave for the immigration bill.  They vote again tomorrow on exactly the same bill that was shot down a couple of weeks ago.  We the people have actually exerted enough force to scare the hell out of our representatives up for re-election.  I think this one will go in the win column for the people.  If not…may anarchy rule supreme, and may we all riot in the streets.

Ah yes more gun control.  The issue is releasing gun purchaser data.  Now interestingly enough this would be an invasion of our privacy not unlike the ones in the Patriot act.  Not many liberals are screaming about this one though.  They are the most wishy-washy bunch of turd eaters I’ve ever seen…all they want is to have it both ways.  Looks like it will be shot down….to many rural democrats elected last time that are concerned for their seats.  The democratic party isn’t all that liberal friendly anymore.

Ann Coulter and John Edwards old lady had a cat fight on MSNBC last night.  Ann coulter wishes John Edwards would be killed by terrorists (it was said in a different form, which really didn’t imply she wanted the guy killed at all, but thats the media, and bloggers like me for you…never get it quite right.  I wish Ann Coulter would make her living giving handjobs, and wish Mrs. Edwards would just come out and say if it wasn’t for Ann Coulter her jackass richboy husband couldn’t raise enough money for a cup of coffee.  Every time Ann Speaks they put it in a newsletter and on the web, and beg for funds.

Ron Paul is going to hold a soiree in the same Building as the debate he wasn’t invited to in Iowa.  On the same day.  He is a fiesty little dickens, and like his people say, he’s against raising taxes, and against abortion so its unreasonable for him not to have been invited.

the ultraliberals in charge of the Senate (in this case Patrick “I should’ve been dead 10 years ago” Leahy have subpoena’d more crap from the white house and Dick.  Seems they want to know how much infighting there was in the executive branch over the search warrant free wire tapping rules.  I say….who cares.  My phone isn’t tapped because I’m not a friggin whacko.  I think the liberals just hate the pathetic administration and will try to make a case out of any moronic issue they can.

Rosie O’donnell will be back on Nip/Tuck…good plan…a little real life nip tuck is recommended…also about 18 stitches across her mouth.