Not News….Proof

July 26, 2007

  This one proves that the FBI is not on a witch hunt for terrorists.  Anyone will do.  It doesn’t seem to matter when in history, the FBI has proven to be as unscrupulous as any federal agency ever.

this one proves that no good deed goes unpunished.  The president who helped pull south africa out of apartheid is now being victimized by rumor mongers and former apartheid officials trying to keep the noose from around their own neck.  Apparently a nobel peace prize isn’t worth much anymore.

 Remember the movie where if you watch it the phone rings and you then die within 7 days?  Well, this cat gives you roughly 4 hours.  I don’t know about you, but I’ve always thought cats were satans minions, except max, of course, and this fat little furbearing feline proves it.  I want his feet tested.  Maybe he isn’t prescient…maybe he has poison paws.

This proves that science fictions and comic books are no longer the private domain of the geeky and nerdified.  heh…sure it does.

this proves that sex, funny, and liberal are popular in the blog bowl.  (like toilet bowl….beats blogosphere wouldn’t you say?)  It also proves that If Rosie O’donnell’s haiku’s get an A rating the rest of you haiku clowns should maybe throw in the towel.  It lists a bunch of celebs and what their blogs are about, and then grades them.

this proves that diet and companionship are more relevant to longevity than stress.

   This one proves that not raising taxes and having a universal health care package are the centerpiece of the liberal candidates agenda.  Pay particular attention to how detailed Chris Dodd is in his explanation about how it will be paid for.

this proves that politicians are dumb…they worry about this, when we have problems right now need fixing

this one proves that not only do governments waste oodles of dollars, idiots that write don’t always get their facts straight.  William Proxmire was a senator from Wisconsin, dummy.

While I certainly don’t get it, this proves that holy week is more important than drinking green beer.  Catholics make no sense at all.

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the week sans pictures

July 22, 2007

   Well, my daughter came home from Brown county.  They went horseback riding, and she greeted me with “dad you just have to get me that horse.”  When I responded that their was no way in hell I was getting a horse she said “well Kelsey’s cat had kittens….can I have one of those?”  Girls think they are so smart, but following on the heels of the $100 gorilla trick I wasn’t falling for it.  NO CATS.  Unless they are on a plate smothered in hollandaise sauce is a hard and fast rule in my house.

   I have decided on a Toyota Carolla as my car of the future, and the future is now.  My reasoning is its relatively inexpensive, has four doors, and  should last at least twenty years. By which time I have every intention of being part of the bar at O’malleys.

   Mollie and I dined on tostitos and cheese sauce with jalapenos and Rotel.  In a few short hours we should be lying in virtual agony staring miserably at each other.  I will teach her to quit eating my food even if it kills me.  What kind of friggin dog eats dried, rolled, pressed, salted corn for christsake?

i found some funny stuff.  In fact this one had me rollin.  I’ve been to the blog before, and it tends to be quite amusing.  This one was absolutely delightful though.

and then there is this one.  I like her wit, sarcasm, and wry biting editorializing on all things human.  Some very funny real life kinda stuff here.

   I see pakistan is making the news regularly now.  Wolf “asswind” Blitzer was trying to goad their foreign minister into saying something bad about the relationship with the U.S. Government.  He failed, mainly because the foreign minister blamed our media for the relationship problem.  It was pretty funny.  Wolf Blitzer couldn’t get a 6 year old to say “I want ice cream.”  He then tried to hammer on the Iraqi Deputy prime minister about their parliament going on break.  The DPM patiently explained to the nimrod that their parliament is kind of like our congress and does whatever idiotic thing pops into their collective ADD hampered brains.  I saw it live, but you can probably find the clips by typing “Hippo assfeathers and other idiotic things” into your browser window.  If that doesn’t work try “shitferbrains” or “CNN’s talking sphincter muscle.” 

I’m sure these will work because someone got to Criminy’s house of inanity by typing in “the journey of a tampon.”  Other great or near great search engine hits this week are “penguin javelin” (i think they were looking for D. Peace), gump &co khomeini (no idea), i have to pee so so badly ( i know why, i just don’t understand WHY?), and this just in “diet tampons.” Try one…wash it down with a diet soda for the apex in culinary disgust.

  I wrote a post on how Ron Paul could become President.  It included likely things like him taking barack Obama as a running mate.  The pauliacs seemed to think it all made sense, which pleased me because I thought I had at least two bats loose from the belfry whilst I wrote it.  To prove my theory was utterly preposterous, Ron came in with another rousing 2% poll number today.  I swear, that campaign is on fire.  He’s no John McCain, but maybe if they toss some petrochemicals on it they can be.  BTW, they crowed about how much better than McCain (who IS virtually dead) Dr. Paul was doing….McCain got 20 %.  Which means you won’t hear about this poll anywhere but here, because they only report well fabricated good news.

   I wonder if i can get the Toyota in a nice periwinkle?  Laugh trogs, I have a purple beretta.  Anything is possible if you set your mind to it.

Contrary to what you are reading all over the blog, President dipshits latest executive orders don’t mean any more than the others.  You can protest the war, they’ll torture whoever they damn well feel like, and people in topeka will continue to dream about living someplace nice like Guam.  These were not earth shattering changes in policy.  They were legalistic manifesto’s with maybe some historical significance.  Hard to blame him.  How would you like to be him in a history book 20 years from now.

In sports the National Felony League continues its meteoric rise to the top of the sports infamy list with that humane society poster child Mikey Vick.  He’s like the 40th football player arrested this year.  My only problem with the hue and cry on this is that people seem surprised.  People are being payed millions to play a game, are spoiled rotten, worshipped by agents, fans, and sport monkeys on ESPN, and then we wonder why they act like a bunch of rotten kids.

  In the NBA, an official has been caught betting on games he refereed.  Like a true American instead of taking his lumps he is talking about naming names.  Like the whole world doesn’t know organized professional athletics aren’t crooked as hell?  This doesn’t even belong on the news.  I want the names from the hooker book…Larry Flynt says he may release all 30 at once, and we’ll be stunned.  Yeah, I’m gonna be stunned because some pathetically disgusting politician is getting his crotch rocket juiced by a hooker.  That’ll happen. 

   Last but not least, for the last time Dick Cheney is not satan.  Satan is a girl scout compared to this guy.  I kind of like   him.  He’s like the chancre sore you appreciate when your great aunt edna the mouth kisser visits.


this week for me.

July 20, 2007

  What an interesting week its been. I’ve changed cars almost as often as socks, I’ve lowered myself to the level of a nitwit economist, I continue to distill a high level of either antipathy or apathy amongst my readers, and I’ve been called names again.  Hell, I even called a couple.  Work has been somewhat of a hoot, and the kids are grounded for intransigence above and beyond the call of duty.

   The much ballyhooed return of MDVP.  Not a moment to soon either.  I was annoying the hell out of some people while I awaited the return of the ultimate compassionate conservative.

Antisocialist has been added to the blogroll.  Another of those I don’t always agree with, but if I agree with anyone some of the time I find that to be an amazing achievement.  He does an incredible job of sourcing his articles, and has some excellent posts on his blog.

  I’ve also added a screed apart.  He writes some intriguing stuff about the shape our society is in.  He even uses charts and pictures so I don’t have to work to hard for it.

anita of whacked out, tormented stories without endings fame has a journal as well.  She intentionally hid this from me so that her friends wouldn’t know she reads my blog. she is a smart person.

   Other than that I’ve found the usual intolerant nonsense for the most part.  I think I’ll do a blog soon giving links to places that will make you piss your pants laughing.  Amazingly they aren’t all pauliac blogs.  I met an economist who flat rails against the use of knowledge, instead offering numbers as a reasonable option.  The problem is all his math is flawed. I actually like people like this.  You can go to there blogs, say anything you wish, and have a good argument.  You can even change your point several times (i know because I did this with the economist) and they won’t even notice.  They are so busy trying to convert you they have no clue what you are saying.  Blogging is a gas.  Of course reading these blogs is like watching two monkeys bang a football.  It’s all wasted effort.

The rum is chilling, the lime is sliced, the coke is new and therefore fizzy, and it is almost time for cuba libres’…

and the Harry potter book is 7 hours away


Ron Paul and the NAFTA Super Highway (with corrected links)

July 11, 2007

I apologize for the links.  They’ve been fixed

  As many of you know, I’m neither for nor against any political candidate at this point.  That being said I have shown more interest in Ron Paul than in many of the other candidates.  The reason for this is I believe Ron Paul is more dangerous.

   One of his bloggers the other day (name withheld) challenged me to come up with something they haven’t already figured out how to spin.  So here you go.  Explain this for me.

On October 30, 2006 He said this: http://www.house.gov/paul/tst/tst2006/tst103006.htm

what this article does not say is the NAFTA superhighway IS I-69. 

On march 12, 2007, Ron Paul made a request for funds.  It was for I-69, and was categorized as funding for roads. see this link.  (page 20)

http://i.cnn.net/cnn/interactive/allpolitics/0706/popup.congress.earmarks/pdfs/tx.14.paul.pdf 

Now, if he was against it in october, why is he trying to appropriate funds for it in march?  Don’t say “well he voted against it in the final bill.”  Just tell me why he tried to appropriate funds for the NAFTA superhighway.

  There you go ron paul bloggers.  Handle that… BTW, I am really curious about this, so if any of you have information let me know.  The NAFTA superhighway will go through my town, and I don’t like it.  China is funding deep water ports in mexico, which will make them the big winner in the whole deal.

thanks mike for bringing this to my attention