10 years ago

July 11, 2007

this is a weak at best tag from  MAX.  In order that you may avoid this, if you read this post you are tagged.  If you leave now you are stoopid…it could be good.

What were you doing 10 years ago?

I was Managing a rubber dick store.

What were you doing 1 year ago?

Painting bridges for the Monon Trail  Barbie pink.

Five Songs That You Know All The Lyrics To.

1. Jinglebells.

2. Henry the 8th by herman and the hermits.

3. the star spangled banner by francis Scott Key

4. The 1812 overture by Pyotr Ilych Tchaikovsky

5. Roll Me Away by Bob Seger

Five Things You Would Do If You Were a Millionaire.

1. Buy Roscoe a woman

2. Go on an unsane Victoria’s Secret models buying spree. Could anything be more fun for me than buying every model in the catalog? Could anything be more fun for the sales person? Love fest!

3. Tell my kids they can’t have any of it just to see the expressions on their faces.

4. get some new 501’s, and a maid to wash them.

5.   go to work…a million will be gone after the first Victoria’s Secret model I’m thinking

 5 Bad Habits

I have no bad habits…my heart is pure

Five Things You Like To Do.

1. name redacted

2. name redacted

3. name redacted

4. name redacted

5. sleep

Five Things You Would Never Wear Again.

1. a Blast hood.

 2. fatigues

3. tafetta.  (nope…it’s none of your business.)

4. boxers with scooby doo or rudolph  on them.  

5.  an inmate number.

5 favorite toys

1. Blonde

2. Brunette

3. Redhead

4.  sheep

5. pauliacs

tis done

so today

June 15, 2007

  I was called names.  Darn it.  whatever shall I do.  My blog was hijacked, and i was slandered by a young woman who by appearances is quite perturbed with me.  Again with the darn it

for all you gold digging hussies out there.  I do not have a book deal with random house, nor am I banging that horsefaced anal retentive ann coulter.  I do however have a job, never borrow money, and raise three kids by myself.  want some of that ladies?  Then let me go farther, i am short, fat, bald, have only one testicle, a large goiter on the side of my neck suffer from polio and angina, have only three teeth remaining, and based on past performance am intolerably bad in bed.  There are roughy 7000 pictures of my naked genitals somewhere on the net, and they will all prove that my weapon of mass dysfunction is not John holmesian.

   What I do have is an incredible talent for bringing out the worst in people.  That being said, you should maybe hang around some.  You probably haven’t seen your worst yet.  I can take an almost sane, only slightly bipolar, and suffering from ADD, human and turn them into a snivelling quivering fuzzy little ball of hate.  This takes mere minutes.  If you want towering hateful gelatinous mass of rage you gotta gimme a minute more than that.

What the problem is folks is honesty.  I lack tact…i sneer at diplomacy, and i find some shit just too damn funny to pass up.  This is fine at blog central, but in the real world it pisses off your average room temperature IQ packing refugee from the shallow end of the gene pool.  Which is nothing compared to what it does to a closet narcissist, openly claiming to be insecure type human.

   But then what do I know, as my good friend johnny b goode aka whitish rabbit says…..aw hell, i  can never remember what chicks say.  I guess trading an ear for a third arm was a big mistake after all