Keeping score

September 6, 2007

   Carla wasn’t sure how long she’d known, but sitting across from Dale she was aware that she did.  Something about being in the room alone with him, or maybe it was the intensity in his eyes.   The news was playing in the background, and Jerry had taken the plates into the kitchen to wash.  She was alone.  With him, and she knew what he had done.

“13,” he said.

“what?”

“13.”

“I don’t understand.”  

“That’s how many.  People we’ve killed…I mean.”  He said the last part lamely, almost as if he was ashamed.

Her mind raced back over the stories she’d seen in the paper, and heard about on TV.   the bodies found all over the state.  The cold recitations of the condition of the victims, spoken or written about by people who didn’t know them, and were to jaded to even realize the damage their words must have done to the loved ones of the victims.  the cheerleader outside of Charlotte, hanging upside down between two trees under a banner that said “Rah-Rah.”

There was the preacher in Bern, hanging from the pulpit by a brass cross that had been hammered through his throat, and the farmer near Jacksonville found face up in the feeding trough, his mouth gagged, and hands bound to the fence rail decrying the fact that he’d been alive when he was put there.

    The horror etched across her face becoming more apparent as the list ran through her mind, and then her face crumbling in the horror of that one word.

“we’ve.”  He had said we’ve.

“Jerry.” she mumbled, already knowing the answer.

“of course Jerry.”

“But why,” she said.  She didn’t really want to know, but couldn’t think of a way not to ask.  How do you not ask?

“Everybody needs a hobby. ”  His voice was devoid of emotion, and she looked up to see him staring intently at her.

Pointing toward the kitchen, Dale smiled and said almost cheerfully “14. ”  Then, With the slightest hint of regret he pointed at her, and said

“15”

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random thoughts # I forget

August 20, 2007

1.  It is easier to make a case for post birth abortion.

2.  I knew a kid that had sex with a pony when I was growing up.  He wasn’t real popular, but I’m not sure how the horses felt about him.

3.    When football season starts this blogging on sunday shit is over.

4.   I like greg the robber better than jerry the killer, but haven’t spoken to either in years.

5.    It only seems like I don’t care about anything.  It’s just that I care about so many things I can only care about each a little.

6.  Yeah, i like that one.

7.  I went to the love tag again.  When I need amusement I always end up there.  I have a tip for them.  If you REALLY love someone, you don’t stop.  It sucks, but there it is. 

8.  If you filled Yankee stadium, and then took an ax, a bat, a gun, a knife, a plastic baggie or a stale cheeto to each and every one of them rendering them into nothing more than organic matter; it would be equivalent to the number of people that will be murdered in America this year. (approx.)

9.  ex’s are like this really bad dream with creepy music and dour looking spinsters wearing long  sleeved dresses with cameo clasps occassionally stopping as they wander the incredibly white halls of the sanitarium to scream filth laced obscenities at invisible demons.

10.  Well, mine are.  Kind of.  they never shutup and they won’t go completely away, and its just creepy.  Ok, I’m done with that, but my head won’t stop moving side to side with my lips etching an overdone grimace across my visage.

11.  If your children tell you they hate you they mean it.  This is good.  You are doing your job, and with any luck they will keep hating you, and move away so you can move somewhere fun like Maui.

12.  Civility is not dead.  It is however undergoing defibrillation and has been treated for shock.

13.  Ron Paul is the new Charlie Waddell who once explained libertarianism as  “people who want government to ruin your life, but not theirs.”  May he rest in pieces.  Charlie had an unfortunate accident while working on a saw mill in South Dakota.

14.  For the first time in my life I can honestly say that I’m glad I’m not in Jamaica.

15.  Artificial life is likely just over the horizon.  I think if they have intellect they will find a way to kill us all…and I can’t say as I blame them.

16.  The fed has sent relief to Texas in hopes of getting a jump on Dean.  If it misses they’ll be blamed for wasting money.

thats it for this.  Have good weeks, be kind to your fellow homo sapiens, and if you can’t do that at least amuse yourself while tormenting them.


money is like manure, it should be spread around, and other fun news

August 13, 2007

  Ok, how many of you have had this one happen to you.  Oh c’mon, you can admit it.  You decide to fly to africa to pick up your online love, and zowie…it all just goes horribly wrong.  I love this story.

the 25 hottest schools, including the kissing-est spot in America.  Here is a hint, it isn’t Elk Mound, but it’s close.  Kind of a fun list, but your kid probably can’t get in many of them.

I’m the only person that read this, so now I”m going to insist that you do.  It’s really kind of funny.

well, I reckon we now know who can afford to win the presidency.  I like the bit about bain holding.  Mitt Romney, venture capitalist invested in Iran.  Kind of makes you chuckle

Dreams do come true.  Mary-Louise Parker, naked as a jaybird.  Oh, and she has this huge snake.  It’s an ad for her showtime series Weeds.

Money is like manure, it should be spread around.  This isn’t fun news in that she died, but rather in that she was 105, and, did so much with her century+ on this planet.

Kill someone, get 67 days.  Any old uncorroborated story will do in tennessee.  One more good reason to never cohabitate.  Just leaving wasn’t an option of course.

Ruin someone’s life for just $20.00 a month.  If revenge is your gig, this is your story.

There is no such thing as $10,000 cowboy boots, no matter what this story says.  I hate to say it, but I hope that God forgives this commandment breaker, because anyone claiming a pair of boots is worth that deserves to be ripped off.

A tape measure is a better  barometer as to whether you’ll suffer heart disease than a scale…Interesting article here.


Ruh-Roh (or roscoe scares me into getting him a babe)

July 17, 2007

I woke last night to the sound of voices.  I didn’t recognize either of them, but will remember them to my dying day.   Or maybe I didn’t awaken.  All I know is one of them was male, gruff, and had that two pack a day habit sound to it.  The other was feminine, almost giggly.  A drug induced euphoria cadence, and content.

gruff: what do you think?

euphoric.  I don’t know, but I know I’m sick to death of kibbles and chunks.

gruff: quit your whining.  I get dried oats and ground up hay.  Try living on that.

euphoric:  We don’t know how to work the grill.

gruff:  So what?  We’ll figure it out, or go with steak tartar.

euphoric:  What’s that?

gruff:  Raw meat.  I learned it watching emeril.

euphoric:  i only watch the purina commercials.

gruff:  So i’ll lay over his blowhole, and you bite him on the nuts.  When he opens his mouth to scream, I’ll stuff my ass puff down his throat.

euphoric: what if he wakes up before we get in position?

gruff:  Then you sit there smiling,  and i’ll hump his ankle.  It worked last time.

euphoric: Okay (giggle) lets do it.

I rolled over then, and coughed.  I heard the rapid thump of a retreating rabbit, and the sound of Mollie trying to crawl under the night stand.

then there were all these women, naked, and feeding me all sorts of fatty foods. there was music, and dancing midgets, and a herd of sheep walking through a meadow with lust in their eyes…

gruff(voiceoverish):  He’s not sleeping real sound.  We’re going to have to wait for another night.

euphoric (also voiceoverish):  If i have to follow him around with this stupid smile on my face for one more day I might just eat myself.

gruff:  You can do it.  Just think, 175 pounds of meat.

euphoric (All giddy): and no more getting my nails clipped, haircut, and living with a stupid rabbit.

gruff (lasciviously): exactly, but remember..i get dibs.

   I woke up late for work, and virtually fled out the door.  On the way home I stopped at a friends house and asked if she would loan me her rabbit.  For what she said.  Roscoe needs a woman says I.  she got all euphoric and said giddily..oh boy, puppies.  I don’t think they call baby rabbits puppies says I.  She said I’m the girl..i can call them whatever I want.   Fair deal.  Give me the damn rabbit…know anyone wants a dog?

 authors note: when i got home i tried to open the frontt door and it was stuck.  I could get it just far enough open to  see roscoe and mollie lying in a ball together.  I think they may have been laying in wait, but whatever the case, they wouldn’t move.   I had to climb in the bedroom window to get in my house.  There will be no sleep tonight.  I fear roscoe has ill intent.  poor little fluffy.  Who in their right mind names a vicious rodent fluffy?


Indiana news…god we suck sometimes

July 6, 2007

just a few, because its way to dempressing.

A driver was killed today while fleeing from a wrecker that was chasing him in an effort to repossess his car.  Now, sure the schmo should pay his bills, and he shouldn’t consider a possession so dear that he would lose his life over it.  Isn’t it wrong on some level though for a corporation to send out mercenaries to chase people on oour roads in an effort to regain “stuff?”   The report did not say charges would be filed against the wrecker driver.  Apparently repo men now have police authority.

   a man is going to trial for the beating death of his two year old daughter.  Thats it.  Lots of blah blah blah, but how do you beat to death a two year? what in the world goes on in your head to kill something that helpless for crying?  If you have a comment that begins with i can see how….please don’t post it.

   a 30 year old woman was sentenced to 2 years confinement for having sex with two teen boys.  It’s apparently not sexual predation when the yourth is a boy and the predator is a woman.

a chow attacked a 7 year old girl.  She apparently lost part of her arm and suffered head injuries.  The owner agreed to let the dog be euthanized.  What a sport.  They should euthanize his ass.  If you can’t control your pets you shouldn’t have them, and if they harm someone you should pay the price.

property taxes went up an average of 24%.  This after a promise that the stadium and consolidation of city services would not cause an increase.   Oh yeah, elect Ron Paul so these asswits have more power.

thats the local news.  I’d source it out but i got it off the radio.  you can check out wthr-13.  They may have more on these wonderfully uplifting human interest stories