Ain’t We Got Fun?

October 7, 2008

My, my, my.  Isn’t this just a pickle? I like being right, but there is a limit.I’m here to tell you, I’ve never had this much fun, and I’ve been to two world fairs and a goat fucking.  Politics, finance, world order itself hang in the balance, and it gets no better than that.

In just the last month as I reckon it the federal government has injected or is on the verge of injecting over TWO Trillion (that’s trillion with a T) bucks into the financial market.  What comes after trillion? it’s million,billion, trillion….but what comes next?  Whatever it is, we’ve sunk a quarter of one of them into this mess.  In fact, I’m not even counting the fannie and freddie buyout, so probably more like 3 trillion.

Yet, amazingly, no one is to blame.   I keep stopping as I write this.  Laughter overcomes me.  A complete and utter dearth of leadership has created the situation, and suddenly we find that the two candidates aren’t really capable of leading either.  Given an incredibly devastating economic crisis just 2 months prior to the election, and McCain panics whilst Obama cowers.  The cowering isn’t exactly a surprise.  It conforms to both the voting record, and the lack of forthrightness on the part of Barack.  The panic was a little surprising.  I take it that’s what a bonafide hero does when faced with a situation beyond his understanding.  Lacking the tools to capture the essence of the crisis it is better to do be doing something useless than nothing at all.  I remember the mindset clearly from my time in the military.  I believe they teach it at The Basic Officers Course.

So what we have is a candidate willing to trounce longtime friendships as if they mean nothing, and a candidate incapable of dealing with those issues not related to beans, bullets, and bandages.  Let’s look back:

We could’ve had Hillary.  Mitt.  Guiliani.  A host of others.  All uniquely unqualifed, but gifted with the egocentricity needed to believe one capable of performing that job.   Bill probably would be nice to have around right now.  Would be nice if he hadn’t used up his term limits before he achieved wisdom.  Oh well.  What we have are these two knuckleheads.  Both of whom, coincidently, have less executive experience, and less personal appeal than the vice presidential candidate.  The hockey mom.  Not the inveterate liar and longtime defender of current social policy that has us where we are today.  Of course, I’m partial to a well turned calve.  Beats worn out political bullshit everytime.

Anyway.  I just came by to chuckle.  Spending what you don’t have got us here.  Blame whoever you want, but that’s what did it.  Your friends, neighbors, coworkers…maybe you, maybe a little me.  that’s who got us here.  Bad spending, atrocious voting.  Accepting that in a free and democratic society the government should be bailing out private enterprise.  We suck folks, and we just keep sucking.  Come the first Tuesday in November we’re going to suck again.  We chose these two to lead us to the promised land?  We’re we drinking?  Hopped up on speedballs and Latte’?  Whatever the case.  This is frigging hilarious.

awkward conciliatory and encouraging afterward:

If your job is sound, and you aren’t in hock up to your genitalia; if you spend little and conserve copiously you should come through this mess ok.  If not, well, tough shit.  You were warned.

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Some Observations on The Political Front

February 8, 2008

   Well, Mitt Romney has thrown in the towel.  This probably proves that on the right he was the best candidate for the job.  He knew enough to depart without pissing good money after bad, and that’s a lesson all our politicians would be well advised to partake of.  You kind of had to feel for the guy after West Virginia.  I mean, what was done there was a do over.   Put in football terms, after the Huckabee Patriots got their asses handed to them by the Romney Giant’s, They called the McClain scumsucking lying geriatric fuckwits (kind of lost my football motif their, but you get the idea) and borrowed a couple of linebackers and a running back.  The refs allowed this, and with more men on the field Huckabee beats Romney.  What kind of a halfwitted system is that?  I know in-breeding is common in Appalachia, but I had no idea the incest ran into their politics.

   The biggest problem for conservatives with Romney getting out of the race is simply he had the only chance left of beating McCain.  Romney at least won in states where a Republican could be expected to win.  I’m all but certain McCain isn’t going to win the presidency if he is counting on New Jersey, New York, Connecticut, and California to get him there.  I’d Have to say based on his moribund track record as a conservative a lot of Republicans won’t be wasting much time come November 4th.  They’re already showing this with a poll count tht is less than half that of the democrats.

   Speaking of which.  After years of trying to get out the black vote they have finally accomplished it.  Not only are they voting in droves, they are voting almost in lock step for Obama.  I think this is cool.  Everyone should participate, and all we had to do was make it color coded.  Shoot, an oreo cookie could’ve beat George Bush had we only known.  Scrape off the cream baby, if it ain’t all brown they won’t vote.  Pardon my obvious racism here, but is it unseemly to note that only guys like Hitler, Stalin,  Hussein, and Ahmadinejad enjoy an 88% popularity at the polls with people of their own race?  Before you climb that podium fuckwit, I’m not comparing him to any of them.  He is far less prepared to lead than any of them we’re upon seeking the highest office in their prospective countries.  If you’d like a comparison I’d go with Jimmy Carter.  Nice guy, incredibly intelligent, and so far out of his league that he well might have been the worst president in the 20th century.

   While it may have been her last good night in awhile, Super Tuesday was fun for a couple of reason for Hillary.  Can you imagine the joy at campaign hillary when they won Massachusetts in dare I say it….a landslide?  Apparently Ted’s powerful endorsement wasn’t exactly that.  It’s nice to see him out and about, and so pale he can’t be on the planet much longer.  I don’t mean to walk on his grave or anything, but what a grand day it will be when his expiration date is realized.

   A couple of other notes…wasn’t Missouri awfully close considering again that Barack had all the endorsements that matter their?  Is there any state left that Huckabee can win?  The answer there is decidely and resoundingly no.

   All the rancor and vitriol aside, the democratic race is shaping up to be a real slugfest.  I can’t picture Hillary Going quietly into that good night, and Barack has proven to be an astoundingly successful candidate considering he doesn’t have any experience, and his platform is still incredibly scant on detail.

  I left out Ron Paul.  Reason being is his irrelevence.  Which hasn’t changed since day one, as previously stated to many times to ocunt here.


Al Qaeda: Hiring the Handicapped

February 2, 2008

  I must preface this with a mild dose of skepticism.  While I’ve little doubt they would be willing to do anything to further their  ambitions (much like our president, both houses of congress, the supreme court, and a lits of churches, industry leaders, and almost  every woman I’ve ever dated), this one seems a bit dubious on the surface.  Read this

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080202/ap_on_re_mi_ea/iraq_080119205359;_ylt=AkEHAJPMqXo0vyOcPVe43ymWwvIE

It seems to me that if this just happened this morning, and assuming that even retards turn to jello when detonated, I find it a little hard to imagine they could already know what they claim to know.    Anyway, it seems that Al Qaeda may have come up with a new special olympics event.


The california democrat debate

February 1, 2008

   Well that went better.  Absent the murderous glares of the previous evening, and with character assassination experiencing a temporary hiatus a pair of individuals with real ideas showed up in Hollywood tonight.  Bet that’s a first.

   I agree with neither of these people on so many things I wouldn’t know where to start.  That said, I loathe neither which made tonights debate a far mor easier experience.  Not only were they mostly congenial, they both came off as people you wouldn’t mind having for a President.

   I felt Barack should have maybe kept his answers short on healthcare.  He appears far to coached to play with Hillary on a field she knows better than anyone else still in the race. I’ve already stated that I’ve decided to vote for Hillary, but I thought Barack came off very well.  Unfortunately, for a man so bent on looking forward he keeps digging back into the past for his debate points.  His continuous harangue that he has been right on Iraq all along may well be true, but is disingenuous when you really look at it.  I was right on Iraq all along as well, but Barack and I were not faced with all the data that Hillary was.  He didn’t have access to the top sectret reports, and I’m willing to wager that had he been he would have made the same vote Hillary did.

    To his credit, he comes off earnest, and personable.  These may seem mundane, but presidents have been elected on personality before.  I do think he had to knock a couple out of the park to catch Hillary before superTuesday, and barring a John McCain style dirty trick I doubt he will look real well next Wednesday.

    Hillary was on tonight.  She’s a formidable opponent in any setting, but she has seemed to really hit her stride in the debates.  Her obvious desire to keep the gloves on I thought allowed Barack a lot more leeway on Iraq than his record deserves, but other than that She seemed to control the momentum of the debate all evening.  The look on Barack’s face when she used the “it took a Clinton to clean up after BushI, and it looks like it will take a Clinton to clean up after Bush II was absolutely to die for.  He looked like he’d been punched in the gut after a long night of boozin.

   I know my commmentary is a little slender, but they didn’t say much that hasn’t already been said.  Hillary did for the first time explain her healthcare plans mandates in a debate setting.  Other than that there wasn’t anything you haven’t already heard unless you live in a refrigerator box behind Spanky’s Grog Palace in Poughkeepsie New York.


The endorsement waste of time

January 30, 2008

     The alternator went out on my car the other day.  It’s no big deal.  A couple of bolts, a couple of wires and right on top so I decided to fix it myself.   The weather was a balmy 12 degrees when I rose about 2 p.m. so I headed over to Billy Bob’s Salvage yard and Latex Pecker Emporium to get the part.

    Billy Bob is somewhat of a savant when it comes to American Politics, so when we’d finished the de riguer discussions on String Theory and Occum’s Razor the conversation turned to recent endorsements.  BB keeps up with politics on CNN, FOXNEWS, and MSNBC.  The reason he does this is becuase Billy Bob don’t like to let facts get in the way of his opinion.

    I enquired as to how he thought the latest endorsements were going to affect the campaign.  These are a few of his theories.

  Ted Kennedy’s endorsement:  This is almost sure to land Obama a larger percentage of the lardassed, drunken, white male vote, but is likely to cost him the Mary Jo Kapechne foundation endorsement.  The NEA (the teachers union, not the endowment for the arts) will likely be split since Ted Kennedy killed a teacher, but continues to fester in the no child left behind debate.

Maxine Waters for  Hillary Clinton:  This one surprised Billy Bob.  He can’t seem to understand how a woman that spent more time on her knees in the oval office during the Clinton Administration than Monica Lewinsky could possibly endorse the guys wife.  I spewed a little clarity on the issue when I explained that Maxine probably swung both ways and therefore was expecting to do a little face time when Hillary is president.

Rudy for John McCain:   Billy Bob thinks this will push John McCain to the republican nomination.  He figures McCain has now locked up the crossdressers, the adulterers, and the italian dwarves with one fell swoop.

John Edwards for ?????  :  Whoever gets this endorsements gets all the people too poor to get to the polls,   the narcissists, and the white lawyers.  Add to this allthe special interest money from revlon and Breck, and you have a prettty solid voting block

All things considered  Billy Bob thinks the endorsements are unimportant.  He’s waiting for the candidate that comes out solidly in favor of sex toys, drunken revelry, and misogyny.  White men still outnumber everyone else but white women in his opinion, and they can always kick the shit out of their wives and not let them vote.

Billy bob’s world might be fantasy, but it sure is fun  Oh yeah, the redneck cocksucker sold me the alternator for 60 bucks…fucking pirate.


what will you do with your tax rebate?

January 26, 2008

   Well, its apparently an almost done deal that over 100 million Americans are going to get a tax rebate between 300 dollars and 1200 dollars.  In addition, another 300 bucks per kid per family so if you have 1000 children it could really add up.

I’m curious as to what people will do with this cash.  It’s such a stupid Idea I can’t decide whether to cash the check and stuff the money up my ass and shoot myself so I can take it with me; or turn it into pennies and melt them down and make friendship handcuffs out of them.


Taser….it does a body good

September 19, 2007

   I think weve found the saviour of our society.

    So a loud mouth stands up and disrupts an event.  When assmuffin is appproached by the police, rather than do what any sane person would do under the circumstances (the circumstance being several armed officers approaching an unarmed human equivalent of a three toed sloth), and obey instructions, dimwit decides to play frisky.  Loudly asking what he has done he resists arrest for what seems an interminably long time.

Then it changes to a bitched up plea of “don’t taser me, as he continues to resist.

zap.

all over but the cuffing.

I have to say this was a delightful advertisement for the taser.  A bunch of wussyish squealing like a pig, and no permanent damage.  They should do this to virtually all college students.  In fact, I think everyone should be given a taser at birth and be mandated to use it liberally and injudiciously.

It just occurred to me how useful this would be against bad poets.