we hold these truths to be self evident

January 26, 2008

   I’ve been wandering into Ration Reality  playing pissoff the assclown for the last couple of days.  For those of you who have never been, ‘they’re an eclectic bunch of turtle herders that aren’t real gentle on sacred cows.  When they’re done picking on fat people they start in on whatever else is within striking distance.  If it is likely to offend it is probably there, but the site is more than that.  It’s also gauranteed to make you laugh, cringe, or lose IQ points.  I personally enjoy the hell out of it.

     Pissing off the ass clown was really quite simple on this occassion.   Basically I started with a comment about bitchslapping that garrulous old fuck McCain, and moved on to a quite simple claim that we are making a mistake in the middle east, and a short, basic explanation as to why.  My mirth knew no bounds as this troglodytic miscreant started spewing the bush party line.

   Are there really people left out there that think the war in Iraq serves a valid purpose?  That it makes us stronger freer or safer?  Apparently one, but if there are more of you I’d like to hear what you have to say.  I think you’re a fucking idiot, but I love hearing what people opposed to my opinion are thinking.

while you’re at it, I mentioned about 8 months ago that inflation waso ut of control, recession was just around the bend, and Pakistan was the most important powder keg on the planet when it comes to our security.  Your opposing viewpoint on these issues is also welcome.

  


Ron Paul Rising and other news

August 9, 2007

  I’ve been wondering around checking out The Ron Paul reaction.  What I’m not seeing is anyone saying he has no hope anymore.  The word longshot comes up a lot, but in the National journals poll he has risen to 6th, and if anyone really believes that Sam Brownback has a better shot of winning this thing than Ron Paul, they must have strong Christian Coalition connections.  He still has that 2% albatross around his neck, and he doesn’t get considered in any of the big polls.

woohoo…the Oprah marriage questionnaire….you can tell around 12 or so they said, hey this is all about money…lets add something about kids and friends so they don’t think we’re republicans.

Diet foods are making our kids fat says this study.  I say bo-lo-nee.  X-Box, nintendo, television, and laziness is what makes kids fat.  Don’t believe me? hoist that behemoth off the couch and pry the joystick from his hand.  Put him to work and see if he don’t shape up.

Well, this makes sense.  The only thing better than 12 million illegal immigrants, is 12 million unemployed illegal immigrants

The nice thing about politicians being honest, is it shows us how stupid they are.  While I agree with the theory that no one should join the military if they don’t wish, saying that his children are helping America by trying to get him elected might well be the dumbest thing Mitt has said all week.  This of course leaves him far behind Barack “dubya” Obama.

This is a great article.  60 years since Great Britain unceremoniously succumbed to the demands of Mahatma Gandhi and left India, the strife continues.  Pakistan and India…kind of a larger israel/palestinian thing.  Weren’t the Brits involved there as well.  We talk partitioning in Iraq.  Read this if you think its a good idea.

evolution has changed its story again.  Thats the beauty of science.  It just changes things as it goes along.  More skuls, more indecision.  Evolution is correct, the tree just has more branches than we thought.  Not in kentucky it doesn’t


Ron Paul should switch parties, and other schmoozed news

August 2, 2007

it was a long day.  It was a brutal day.  It had a lot of downs, and only one up.  I was not here when this happened.  I have however crossed that bridge hundreds of times, and it kind of bothers me that the end of this article is all about how there is no known link to terrorism.  Is that really where we are?  Any catastrophic incident has to be looked at in light of a possible terrorist connection?  They are now saying up to 50 cars in the river.

   Some new exercise guidlelines are out.  Basically it says if you have sex five days a week for a half hour, and sprinkle in a little weight lifting you’re good to go.  It also says physical activity is about as bad as smoking in regards to morbidity and mortality, so get your lazy asses up and go do some boinking.

   In the 70’s I remember this big deal being made about glasses from McDonalds that were made in China had to be thrown away because the paint had to much lead in it.  Well, it’s 2007, and  American companies are still putting you at risk by merchandising dangerous products bought from Chinese Vendors,  Almost a million fisher price toys.  Have your kids been putting any of them in their mouths?  Isn’t it time free trade with this country be reexamined based on risk to our population. 

here’s a good one on health insurance.  Did you know that in many states  you can make as much as 82K plus a year, and still receive federally funded health insurance?  Bet that pisses off those of you making 50K a year and paying for your own.  This includes adults with no children, but the program is called SCHIP and is intended for children.  I pay for my won and my kids, but I think I’ll go get me some poor people money from the government.  what the hell.

Britney Spears is now making death threats.  She threatened to kill two photographers.  That she intended to do it by making them smell her thong is only a rumor, but I’m pretty sure that would work.  Dumb young women are becoming an infestation in the entertainment world.  Isn’t there some way we can keep them from procreating?

so now we need more secret wiretapping?  The democrats are balking, but how much you bet it goes through, even though their base is dead set against it.  Get a clue on the left, you are as marginalized by the people you elected as are the people on the right.

Either Obama has caught a serious case of dumbass disease, or he has decided to move way the hell to the right.  Somewhere right of Dick Cheney, actually.  He is now threatening to invade Pakistan.  Someone needs to tell him to shutup and fast.

Less people get their political news from you tube, myspace, AND blogs than from any other source.  Over 60% of Republicans and Democrats say they would consider voting for an Independent candidate, and over 50% of each think an independent would be good for the country.  Are you listening Ron Paul?  Maybe its time to take down those faded and fake republican colors and run as a libertarian?  You say you are one, and the country seems to be ready.  Yeah right.

and thats it… i lugged 458 X 80 = 36,640 lbs during todays little 12 hour stint of hell, and my shoulders just now cried nuff.


the week sans pictures

July 22, 2007

   Well, my daughter came home from Brown county.  They went horseback riding, and she greeted me with “dad you just have to get me that horse.”  When I responded that their was no way in hell I was getting a horse she said “well Kelsey’s cat had kittens….can I have one of those?”  Girls think they are so smart, but following on the heels of the $100 gorilla trick I wasn’t falling for it.  NO CATS.  Unless they are on a plate smothered in hollandaise sauce is a hard and fast rule in my house.

   I have decided on a Toyota Carolla as my car of the future, and the future is now.  My reasoning is its relatively inexpensive, has four doors, and  should last at least twenty years. By which time I have every intention of being part of the bar at O’malleys.

   Mollie and I dined on tostitos and cheese sauce with jalapenos and Rotel.  In a few short hours we should be lying in virtual agony staring miserably at each other.  I will teach her to quit eating my food even if it kills me.  What kind of friggin dog eats dried, rolled, pressed, salted corn for christsake?

i found some funny stuff.  In fact this one had me rollin.  I’ve been to the blog before, and it tends to be quite amusing.  This one was absolutely delightful though.

and then there is this one.  I like her wit, sarcasm, and wry biting editorializing on all things human.  Some very funny real life kinda stuff here.

   I see pakistan is making the news regularly now.  Wolf “asswind” Blitzer was trying to goad their foreign minister into saying something bad about the relationship with the U.S. Government.  He failed, mainly because the foreign minister blamed our media for the relationship problem.  It was pretty funny.  Wolf Blitzer couldn’t get a 6 year old to say “I want ice cream.”  He then tried to hammer on the Iraqi Deputy prime minister about their parliament going on break.  The DPM patiently explained to the nimrod that their parliament is kind of like our congress and does whatever idiotic thing pops into their collective ADD hampered brains.  I saw it live, but you can probably find the clips by typing “Hippo assfeathers and other idiotic things” into your browser window.  If that doesn’t work try “shitferbrains” or “CNN’s talking sphincter muscle.” 

I’m sure these will work because someone got to Criminy’s house of inanity by typing in “the journey of a tampon.”  Other great or near great search engine hits this week are “penguin javelin” (i think they were looking for D. Peace), gump &co khomeini (no idea), i have to pee so so badly ( i know why, i just don’t understand WHY?), and this just in “diet tampons.” Try one…wash it down with a diet soda for the apex in culinary disgust.

  I wrote a post on how Ron Paul could become President.  It included likely things like him taking barack Obama as a running mate.  The pauliacs seemed to think it all made sense, which pleased me because I thought I had at least two bats loose from the belfry whilst I wrote it.  To prove my theory was utterly preposterous, Ron came in with another rousing 2% poll number today.  I swear, that campaign is on fire.  He’s no John McCain, but maybe if they toss some petrochemicals on it they can be.  BTW, they crowed about how much better than McCain (who IS virtually dead) Dr. Paul was doing….McCain got 20 %.  Which means you won’t hear about this poll anywhere but here, because they only report well fabricated good news.

   I wonder if i can get the Toyota in a nice periwinkle?  Laugh trogs, I have a purple beretta.  Anything is possible if you set your mind to it.

Contrary to what you are reading all over the blog, President dipshits latest executive orders don’t mean any more than the others.  You can protest the war, they’ll torture whoever they damn well feel like, and people in topeka will continue to dream about living someplace nice like Guam.  These were not earth shattering changes in policy.  They were legalistic manifesto’s with maybe some historical significance.  Hard to blame him.  How would you like to be him in a history book 20 years from now.

In sports the National Felony League continues its meteoric rise to the top of the sports infamy list with that humane society poster child Mikey Vick.  He’s like the 40th football player arrested this year.  My only problem with the hue and cry on this is that people seem surprised.  People are being payed millions to play a game, are spoiled rotten, worshipped by agents, fans, and sport monkeys on ESPN, and then we wonder why they act like a bunch of rotten kids.

  In the NBA, an official has been caught betting on games he refereed.  Like a true American instead of taking his lumps he is talking about naming names.  Like the whole world doesn’t know organized professional athletics aren’t crooked as hell?  This doesn’t even belong on the news.  I want the names from the hooker book…Larry Flynt says he may release all 30 at once, and we’ll be stunned.  Yeah, I’m gonna be stunned because some pathetically disgusting politician is getting his crotch rocket juiced by a hooker.  That’ll happen. 

   Last but not least, for the last time Dick Cheney is not satan.  Satan is a girl scout compared to this guy.  I kind of like   him.  He’s like the chancre sore you appreciate when your great aunt edna the mouth kisser visits.


lets do the news

July 17, 2007

  first the really important story…It’s a human interest story from the Grape Gazette.

Roscoe, fluffy and mollie seem to be hitting it off.  In fact I’m almost certain there may be a little inter-species lesbian thing going on if you know what I mean.  Roscoe is happy because someone speaks his language, mollie is happy because she has someone to snuggle with, and If I’m not mistaken the two of them being happy means FLUFFY IS A FREAK.

Maybe the rat bastards won’t kill me and grill me after all.

   the new intelligence estimate is out.  I’m willing to bet half of the readers here could’ve done as well.  Why do they always play politics with our security?  you would think on this at least they would all speak with one voice.  they can’t though.  You can’t be the most important if you agree with someone else.   Here’s the link…you shouldn’t bother…nothing new here

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20070717/ap_on_go_ca_st_pe/us_terror_threat_39;_ylt=AjjTS5Ima.DS.aCafPZKAGsL1vAI

  Pakistan is trying to take the lead in the death by suicide bombing category from Iraq.  Man what a mess they are, and our assistant secretary of state is calling for more military action from Pervez .  Man, we do have some seriously militaristic type s running our country.  Unfortunately, the ruling party in the congress (the democrats) have no balls, so it will continue.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20070717/ap_on_re_as/pakistan_74;_ylt=AjbIywqw550DxJcms7ct2jyWwvIE

I don’t know about you, but I love poker.  I’m a huge 7 card stud fan, but the game of choice has become texas hold ’em.  Probably because any idiot can figure it out.  It’s preschool poker, but its big time money.  The world series of poker main event final table is playing, and the winner is going home over $8M richer.  Only Lee Watkinsoon is recognizeable, and the players come from all over the globe.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/19777938/

Harry Potter book available in its entirity online.  ok, this is really cool.   First….read the blue box on the left with the guys picture on it.  Then read the story.  Then go, well what the hell does that ….

http://redtape.msnbc.com/2007/07/pirates-say-the.html

In keeping with the Bush Administrations policy of attacking anyone anytime, parachutists jumped on the fremont prison in colorado.  I think its about time we attacked colorado.  whats interesting is these guys, when asked for identification gave the guards a paper that said they were defense department employees…that may not seem like much to you civilians, buut any former military man or woman reading this is going HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,289551,00.html

A pro wrestling story just for MDVP..its the chris benoit thing, and it lays out a pretty good run on how it all went down…Yes, he had steroids in his system

http://www.cnn.com/2007/US/07/17/wrestler.murder/index.html

  I told you text messaging was from hell.  This story is one you gotta see…then tell your kids to watch it.

http://www.cnn.com/video/#/video/us/2007/07/17/snow.texting.and.driving.cnn

Obama girl vs. giuliani girl…this is pretty dumb, but I’ve never linked to booty on my blog so here yuh go

http://www.cnn.com/video/#/video/offbeat/2007/07/16/moos.obama.rudy.affl

maybe the first step toward proving me right, Iran and the U.s will hold direct talks about Iraq in Baghdad.  The pauliacs will hate this, and Ron Paul must be shuffking his scare mongering feet a little too.

http://www.cnn.com/2007/POLITICS/07/17/us.iran.iraq.ap/index.html

ok, that does it for the news…lots of murders, a dude burned his wife to death, Michael Vick indicted for dog fighting (what an asswit he is), those nurses accused of spreading HIV in children in libya are getting their death sentences commuted to life in prison, etc. etc.  It just oges on.  I think next time I do the news I’ll only do the good stuff.  Which means this post would’ve been one paragraph long


the hue and cry

July 15, 2007

   Well the sunday of work more or less killed my random thoughts mood so I’ll try to whip that out later.  Right now I’m more thinking about the insanity I keep hearing on the news.  Shall we?

   Ok, Pauliacs, enough is probably enough, and you guys have really blown this one out of proportion.  I agree that he did not say that the government was planning bogus terrorist attacks.  It seems maybe I’m the only non-pauliac saying it, but thats no reason for you folks to blow a valve or something.  Cardiac care is important, and the old blood pressure is going through the moon on you guys .   Why don’t you discuss the rest of that insipidly stupid interview?  Or was that not your take on it?  I am up to my ears with the whole Ron Paul is the only candidate interested in liberty.  Lets look at his record.  He is interested in doing nothing.  Ever.  That’s what his interest is.  His voting record smacks of abject cowardice, and his hiding behind the constitution, a document that is to hard to change to gaurantee liberty for anyone let alone everyone, continues to wither with the populace.  Quit whining because he got misquoted.  Libertarians are notorious for misquoting anyone that doesn’t agree with them, and this year is no exception.

   Maliki said we could leave anytime we wanted, but today one of his aids translated that to “we want you to stay as long as you want and train our troops.”  Nice.  Wonder which cloak and dagger clown the white house sent to Put Maliki in his place?  If anyone thought he wasn’t our trained lap dog, this should change your mind on that.  Our seating an “elected” government in Iraq is maybe the dirtiest thing we have done over there.  They are making no headway, or effort, to reach the benchmarks established by “us” again.  Is Iraq now the 51st state or something?    Bring home the troops…let the humanitarian disaster begin.

   It’s not Iran, it’s Pakistan dummies.  While its possible the pauliacs are right, and George Bush really is dumb enough to enter open conflict with Iran, the good bet from a security stand point is Pakistan…here’s why.

Israel showed at Osirak that they are not going to let a muslim country have nukes.  They won’t let Iran either if it comes down to it.  They only listen to us if their security is not directly threatened, and Israel has always felt that a middle east nation with the bomb is a direct threat to their existence…which it is.  They have the bomb, so it’s a little hypocritical to say others shouldn’t, but I’m kind of an Israel fan so I don’t mind a little hypocrisy.

Pakistan has the bomb.  Several attempts have been made on Musharrafs life.  The al qaeda #2 has given us the three warnings notification required by the Quran.  Osama showed up on a video tape.  Whether he is alive or dead is an academic question. All the portents are there, and al qaeda has called for holy war against the pakistani government.

If we are going to invest ourselves in open conflict anywhere it really needs to be there.  Thats the threat.  We can defuse the Iranian issue with diplomacy, and a slow but coming withdrawal from Iraq.  Al Qaeda and the Taliban have proven they can’t be talked to, and its time to finish the little mess we made there.  Sorry pauliacs and messiah…you’re gnashing of teeth and rending of flesh over your projected Gulf of Tonkin incident makes no sense in the big picture.  Of course, Bush has proven he isn’t a big picture guy.

   These pesky muslims really have us chasing our tail don’t they?  We never learn from our mistakes, and this is proof of it.  When you get a snake by the neck you choke it until it is dead, dead, dead, you don’t let it go to see if it will bite you again.


Things of interest

July 11, 2007

  The whole Pakistan thing just gets worse.  Al Queda’s number 2 called for a holy war against the Musharraf regime.

We really need to pay more attention to this.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20070711/ap_on_re_as/pakistan_radical_mosque_190;_ylt=As6fUpke5gO3.QoPFX3LF.8L1vAI

this one really bothers me.  Elephants have enough issues (they’re large, its hard to find nice shoes, mice freak them out) without humans killing them for the hell of it and a little bit of ivory.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/afp/20070710/sc_afp/kenyatanzaniawildlife_070710162807

  Dear george bush, you frigging maniac.  The Iraqi government has given you a way out, and you appear to dumb to take it.  Take a read of this, and try to get your priorities straight.  Oh wait, you know this.  So if Al Qaeda was the original enemy, and they are as  strong as they were, and are raising hell in afghanistan and pakistan….uhhhh….why not let the Iraqi’s deal with their own political crapfest, and get back on point.  You really look dumb here, bud.

http://www.mail.com/newsarticle.aspx?catId=&articleId=1133989

I only do this one because my readers are mostly to young to remember Jim Morrison.  He was the incredibly talentless, drug addicted leader of The Doors, who chicks thought was hot so they made millions which they then spent on drugs until dipstick here died of an OD.   (MSNBC and I…wasting your time)

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/19714635/

These stories show up more and more often.  I’m not sure if it’s acase of me paying more attention, man is somehow affecting their habitat, or if McDonalds is about to launch a new weight watchers Calamari sandwich.  (CNN, keeping up with the koneses…and the yahoo’s…and the googles)

http://www.cnn.com/2007/TECH/science/07/11/big.squid.ap/index.html

  So the John Conyers led fiasco is begun.  Lets pick on the women first.  Women who set no policy, but since we can’t get the fish we want, lets threaten these former employees with contempt of congress.  Which is funny, because if theire is any group of people in America thats worth being contemptuous toward, it’s these analbrains.  It is just more you did it so we’re going to do it.  Every time there is a power shift we do this instead of moving forward. (Fox wasting your time, congress wasting your money, and me wasting my breath)

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,289003,00.html

the “Well That Was Dumb, but it’s Still Trivial” award goes here.  I don’t want to laugh, but holy jumpin jesus gonzales perez christo this was dumb

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,288918,00.html