Ron Paul and supporters: How to broaden your base

   The tragedy is that after 8 months, and a lot of rhetoric, Ron Paul finds himself in a statistical deadheat with me.  Figure in the margin of error (which is always at least 3%) and his 2% is statistically the same as my 0%.  What is needed is a new outlook, and a new direction.  Here are some ideas.  Several of them pertain to expanding awareness on the net.  The reason for this is that it appears to be the only place his supporters ever go.  I’ve seen one Ron Paul bumper sticker, and that was on a car that had a driver doing 45 in the fast lane.

1.  Buy Ron Paul a cat.  I canhazcheeseburger folk are as rabid as ron paul bloggers.  Plus, there are one helluva lot more of them.

2.  Start all posts pertaining to Ron Paul with the words breasts, lust, sex, blowjob, orgy, or menage a trois.  Nothing is expanding interest so far based on poll numbers, and this will ensure a new group of people see your writing.

3.  Change his name to Ron Clinton.  That woman(bill clinton did not have sex with her either) is doing way better than Paul, and has given the American public every reason not to trust her.  It has to be the name.

4.  Photo shop some pictures of him with a babe.  Fred Thompson isn’t even in the race and he is kicking Ron Paul’s ass.  The hottie wife can’t be hurting him in the polls.

5.  get him some xanax.  I like him, but face it.  He was so strident in the last debate you’d swear someone had expanded the constitution to include protection for gays and gummy bear sex.

6.STFU.  You never say anything anyway, and your insane attack pauliac rhetoric is turning off the electorate.  He has some good ideas with some real dumbasses projecting them to the world.

7.  Drink less.  No, really.  It’s obviously a problem based on the drunken comments I get about how much his movement has grown.  I’m sorry…he has been at no more than 2% since day one.  Thats not growth. 

8.  Release a work out video…good god, the mans neck looks like a roll of dimes.  No sex appeal, no charisma.  Buying suits at the childrens section at JCPenney’s isn’t going to get the churchlady vote.

9.  Something new.  I’m sure you’re tired of hearing this, but we know Ron Paul.  We knew everything he had to say within 15 minutes….now what?  This is a contest, dingbats.  You are losing because it looks like you’re snoozing.

10.  hire me as campaign manager.   No forget that.  I’m not taking a pay cut, and getting my ass kicked by a mormon named Mitt, and a NYC italian that looks amazingly like Mussolini isn’t an attractive career move.

Stay mad.  Stay really mad, and never try to put forth a coherent thought when you comment toward the opposition, or even the undecided.   You guys are so pissed off even your moms won’t talk to you anymore.  I know…it’s because you are right and everyone else is wrong, but telling us that all the time just makes us want to kick your ass.

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I just washed my utopia and I can’t do a thing with it

     I’ve had some nasty things done to me in the ol blog world.   From having my blog hijacked, to being called everything in the book by my Ron Paul fanatics.   I even had one tell me I had just written the dumbest thing he had ever read on a blog.  I was offended until i found out he was a 30 year old libertarian and had only been reading for 2 weeks. Today though is a day that shall live (at least for me) in infamy.

Last weekend I found a blog full of truly reprehensible heathens, and overwhelmed by an incomprehensible sensation of pity, I spoke to them.  Practically treated them like equals, even though it became abundantly clear at the onset that this blog was obviously staffed by an eclectic mix of short bus rejects.

   Though they were apparently afflicted by more neurosis than the staff of the White House, I stll felt that it was my civic duty to attempt to improve their lot in life.  Which I did, by allowing them to bask in the glow of my brilliance while they continued to toil away slavishly at their what can only be described as “intellectually malfeasant” blog.

   Today I received my comeuppance.  In the best tradition of no good deed shall go unpunished these blog slugs somehow paid someone to create pictures with words on them for their little corner of blog hell.  These pictures are of cats.  These pictures are linked to posts, one of which is cleverly titled 6 a.m. Hateful, and written by me.  Yeah.  They linked my blog to a cat.  Not even a good cat coated in cornbread and served with potatoes and gravy.  A furry ornery little fourlegged version of satan is what they linked my pristinely virtuous literary masterpiece to.

  We’re these not obviously the human versions of a gene pool picostimus I would be on them like Doug Heffernan on a chicken…like the pope on an alter boy…like linsey lohan on a crack pipe.  Instead I shall rise above because picking on the mentally handicapped is not acceptable behaviour.  Also because they are far superior to me technologically, and this kind of thing would almost certainly keep happening if i were to declare a blog war. 

Payback is a bitch they tell me, and ms. Bagel has one coming.  The rest of them of course shall be tossed in under the guilt by association clause. 

Bunch of icanhazcheeseburger wannabe’s.

very funny

  

Ron Paul in the spotlight

   An ABC news story about Ron Paul?  Whoa baby.  That oughtta get the genital juices flowing.  I fear a run on 6 packs, gun racks, and tighty whities.  It’s not much of an article.  They mainly rehash his wikipedia bio and talk about how I’mpressive his $3 million in campaign cash is.  They even say that his followers say that he could be a serious underdog candidate.  Oh man, thats about the kind of glowing reference I’d give my ex.  “her mom says she is nice,” and “when she isn’t demanding that you do everything her way, she might have real potential” her preacher stated.

   Really though, that’s who Ron Paul is.  He’s the ex.  Ex-libertarian, ex-doctor,  ex-communicated republican.  He continues to turn in the big 2% poll numbers, and if nothing else his followers don’t lack for persistence.  They will annoy the hell out of anyone that will listen about how this is the right man for our country.  Never mind that between his religious beliefs, and his political positions, even his followers can’t quite figure out what to call him.  I’m sticking with no hoper, until he can spin out a double digit number in any forum other than the net.  You have to leave your computer to vote, so his following here doesn’t count really.

The Ron Paul ultimatum

  My favorite line is “go read what he wrote about….”  Do you really think that everyone that does not support Ron Paul is to ignorant to have taken the time to track his policy decisions, to read his speeches from the floor of the house, and to check out his campaign site?  Is everyone that doesn’t support Ron Paul to stupid to formulate an opinion based on that research?

   It just may be that we have read him.  It could be that we just don’t totally agree with him.  Is that so hard to believe?  Maybe I think abortion is a personal choice.  Maybe I believe people should have to go through rigorous checks before they are allowed to purchase an M-60 machine gun.  Maybe I think the gold standard is an idiotic and outdated method of running a monetary system, and just maybe, and I know this is a stretch,  I think state government running my life would be worse for me than the fed doing it.

   He has a lot of ideas, but doesn’t explain how he will pay for them with his new small government.   He wants to protect our coastlines and our borders, but doesn’t explain how he will do so without creating a gigantic federal bureaucracy to accomplish the task. 

He has a lot of obfuscations and dodges for why he doesn’t vote on issues that are of grave concern to the american populace.  He wraps himself in the constitution like it is the holy grail of federal politics, but then on his own campaign site he advocates gutting the 5th and the fourteenth amendments.

 I’m sorry.  I respect your opinions and your desire to follow this man who on many levels I agree with. unfortunately, I am of the opinion that he advocates a lot of things he can’t make happen.  Ron Paul is quite likely a very good person.  He is also a major league anachronism.   A man who talks about change after 20 years inside the beltway.  He is not the saviour of our country.  He is just another small piece of the problem, albeit a fairly original one.

lets do the news

  first the really important story…It’s a human interest story from the Grape Gazette.

Roscoe, fluffy and mollie seem to be hitting it off.  In fact I’m almost certain there may be a little inter-species lesbian thing going on if you know what I mean.  Roscoe is happy because someone speaks his language, mollie is happy because she has someone to snuggle with, and If I’m not mistaken the two of them being happy means FLUFFY IS A FREAK.

Maybe the rat bastards won’t kill me and grill me after all.

   the new intelligence estimate is out.  I’m willing to bet half of the readers here could’ve done as well.  Why do they always play politics with our security?  you would think on this at least they would all speak with one voice.  they can’t though.  You can’t be the most important if you agree with someone else.   Here’s the link…you shouldn’t bother…nothing new here

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20070717/ap_on_go_ca_st_pe/us_terror_threat_39;_ylt=AjjTS5Ima.DS.aCafPZKAGsL1vAI

  Pakistan is trying to take the lead in the death by suicide bombing category from Iraq.  Man what a mess they are, and our assistant secretary of state is calling for more military action from Pervez .  Man, we do have some seriously militaristic type s running our country.  Unfortunately, the ruling party in the congress (the democrats) have no balls, so it will continue.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20070717/ap_on_re_as/pakistan_74;_ylt=AjbIywqw550DxJcms7ct2jyWwvIE

I don’t know about you, but I love poker.  I’m a huge 7 card stud fan, but the game of choice has become texas hold ’em.  Probably because any idiot can figure it out.  It’s preschool poker, but its big time money.  The world series of poker main event final table is playing, and the winner is going home over $8M richer.  Only Lee Watkinsoon is recognizeable, and the players come from all over the globe.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/19777938/

Harry Potter book available in its entirity online.  ok, this is really cool.   First….read the blue box on the left with the guys picture on it.  Then read the story.  Then go, well what the hell does that ….

http://redtape.msnbc.com/2007/07/pirates-say-the.html

In keeping with the Bush Administrations policy of attacking anyone anytime, parachutists jumped on the fremont prison in colorado.  I think its about time we attacked colorado.  whats interesting is these guys, when asked for identification gave the guards a paper that said they were defense department employees…that may not seem like much to you civilians, buut any former military man or woman reading this is going HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,289551,00.html

A pro wrestling story just for MDVP..its the chris benoit thing, and it lays out a pretty good run on how it all went down…Yes, he had steroids in his system

http://www.cnn.com/2007/US/07/17/wrestler.murder/index.html

  I told you text messaging was from hell.  This story is one you gotta see…then tell your kids to watch it.

http://www.cnn.com/video/#/video/us/2007/07/17/snow.texting.and.driving.cnn

Obama girl vs. giuliani girl…this is pretty dumb, but I’ve never linked to booty on my blog so here yuh go

http://www.cnn.com/video/#/video/offbeat/2007/07/16/moos.obama.rudy.affl

maybe the first step toward proving me right, Iran and the U.s will hold direct talks about Iraq in Baghdad.  The pauliacs will hate this, and Ron Paul must be shuffking his scare mongering feet a little too.

http://www.cnn.com/2007/POLITICS/07/17/us.iran.iraq.ap/index.html

ok, that does it for the news…lots of murders, a dude burned his wife to death, Michael Vick indicted for dog fighting (what an asswit he is), those nurses accused of spreading HIV in children in libya are getting their death sentences commuted to life in prison, etc. etc.  It just oges on.  I think next time I do the news I’ll only do the good stuff.  Which means this post would’ve been one paragraph long

the troops support Ron Paul?

  The numbers are in.  They have been crunched, and it appears the military supports Ron Paul. The numbers do not tell us why, but it stands to reason that people who choose to bein the military tend toward patriotic views, and Ron has that market fairly well cornered now that John McCain has done his typical step-on-the-dick campaign for president.

  So what do the numbers tell us?  I’m going to round way up (thats in favor of Ron Paul, pauliacs…climb out of my rectum.  We’re going to call it 30,000 dollars the troops gave paul.  If we just count the troops in Iraq, thats about 20 cents per head.  Not exactly an overwhelming number is it folks?  How much you bet I can find you 100 blogs right now crowing about it like it was manna from heaven?  whoops, thats not the whole military though, and this counts veterans…woof…that blows…lets see….call it 2.8 million in the active and reserve, and lowball it at the same number of vets equals 5.6 million.  Well folks…thats substantially less than a penny a piece.  Damn, No wonder the blog is blowing up about this.

the irrepressive pauliacs are at it again.  Don’t laugh at them.  They get way defensive

Sunday is for random thoughts #6

1.  Everyone who has ever accused me of being self destructive was pissed off at me for putting me before them.

2. old people brag about wisdom because everything else is going to hell on them.

3. fashion tip: go down to the dock…look at what the hookers are wearing…and don’t wear that.

4.  more fashion:  I wonder which guys are walking through walmart, see the lingerie, and thinks  “my girlfriend/wife/boyfriend would so love that”

5.  If I tell roscoe (see previous post) that max “linked” to him maybe he’ll take it sexually and go after HER ankle.

6.  It’s unfair I had to work today, even if yesterdays slothfulness caused it.  God didn’t have to work on Sunday, and he has proven to be nearly worthless.

7. Starbucks closed it’s store in the forbidden city because people thought it “marred” a historical site…only approximately 13,000 more to go. Woohoo.

8.  I wonder why running students over with tanks in Tianamen Square didn’t “mar”  that historical site.

9.  If we could harness the hot air coming from the mouths of politicians and turn it into an energy source, we would never need fossil fuels again.

10.  I bet humans taste better than they look.  Except Salma Hayek.

11.  for the first time i was “hit” more by search engines than referrers.  I wonder if that means I’m now hated everywhere.

12.  My uncle glen died today.  Being in your forties seems to make this occur a lot more.  That makes 7 in two years.

13. I’ve decided to start wearing a kilt.  I look great in knee socks, and it will facilitate my efforts to revitalize the lost art of mooning.

14.  Vote Grape!!!!  I’ve decided the official wine for my campaign will be anything with a screw on lid… no cheap funky tasting corks for my supporters.

15.  I once rode a rodeo bull.  Well, sort of. It was open the gate fall off as i recall.  Drinking does not help one make good choices, btw

16.  It also does not make you charming.  It does make you more tolerable to other drunks though.

17.  A good diet, regular sleep schedule, and a low stress existence increases your chances of being able to wear a diaper, and be abused in a nursing home for several years instead of only a couple.

18. To give away to good home.  one rabbit.  He is vicious, perverted, and cranky as hell.  Tranquilizer gun and 12 darts included.  Call anytime after 6.

19.  Pauliacs make me laugh a lot, but some of his followers are kind of bright.  Which leaves you wondering what the hell is Tsoldrin smoking, anyways?

20.  Someday you will look back on the time you spent reading the criminy infestation, and wonder why the hell you didn’t spend more time clipping your nails.

21.  Have a good week.  Make a difference.  Eat something thats bad for you.  Avoid assholes (my readership will decline),and smile more than you did this week.Treat someone you like to an ice cream.  tell someone you don;t like the truth about how you feel about them and why.  Wait for the swelling to go down and then tell them again.  Persistence is always respected.

ps  I went to Susan the astrologer nutbags blog.  She pegged me on the love thing…missed by several miles on everything else.  Another hack.