Ron Paul and supporters: How to broaden your base

   The tragedy is that after 8 months, and a lot of rhetoric, Ron Paul finds himself in a statistical deadheat with me.  Figure in the margin of error (which is always at least 3%) and his 2% is statistically the same as my 0%.  What is needed is a new outlook, and a new direction.  Here are some ideas.  Several of them pertain to expanding awareness on the net.  The reason for this is that it appears to be the only place his supporters ever go.  I’ve seen one Ron Paul bumper sticker, and that was on a car that had a driver doing 45 in the fast lane.

1.  Buy Ron Paul a cat.  I canhazcheeseburger folk are as rabid as ron paul bloggers.  Plus, there are one helluva lot more of them.

2.  Start all posts pertaining to Ron Paul with the words breasts, lust, sex, blowjob, orgy, or menage a trois.  Nothing is expanding interest so far based on poll numbers, and this will ensure a new group of people see your writing.

3.  Change his name to Ron Clinton.  That woman(bill clinton did not have sex with her either) is doing way better than Paul, and has given the American public every reason not to trust her.  It has to be the name.

4.  Photo shop some pictures of him with a babe.  Fred Thompson isn’t even in the race and he is kicking Ron Paul’s ass.  The hottie wife can’t be hurting him in the polls.

5.  get him some xanax.  I like him, but face it.  He was so strident in the last debate you’d swear someone had expanded the constitution to include protection for gays and gummy bear sex.

6.STFU.  You never say anything anyway, and your insane attack pauliac rhetoric is turning off the electorate.  He has some good ideas with some real dumbasses projecting them to the world.

7.  Drink less.  No, really.  It’s obviously a problem based on the drunken comments I get about how much his movement has grown.  I’m sorry…he has been at no more than 2% since day one.  Thats not growth. 

8.  Release a work out video…good god, the mans neck looks like a roll of dimes.  No sex appeal, no charisma.  Buying suits at the childrens section at JCPenney’s isn’t going to get the churchlady vote.

9.  Something new.  I’m sure you’re tired of hearing this, but we know Ron Paul.  We knew everything he had to say within 15 minutes….now what?  This is a contest, dingbats.  You are losing because it looks like you’re snoozing.

10.  hire me as campaign manager.   No forget that.  I’m not taking a pay cut, and getting my ass kicked by a mormon named Mitt, and a NYC italian that looks amazingly like Mussolini isn’t an attractive career move.

Stay mad.  Stay really mad, and never try to put forth a coherent thought when you comment toward the opposition, or even the undecided.   You guys are so pissed off even your moms won’t talk to you anymore.  I know…it’s because you are right and everyone else is wrong, but telling us that all the time just makes us want to kick your ass.

I just washed my utopia and I can’t do a thing with it

     I’ve had some nasty things done to me in the ol blog world.   From having my blog hijacked, to being called everything in the book by my Ron Paul fanatics.   I even had one tell me I had just written the dumbest thing he had ever read on a blog.  I was offended until i found out he was a 30 year old libertarian and had only been reading for 2 weeks. Today though is a day that shall live (at least for me) in infamy.

Last weekend I found a blog full of truly reprehensible heathens, and overwhelmed by an incomprehensible sensation of pity, I spoke to them.  Practically treated them like equals, even though it became abundantly clear at the onset that this blog was obviously staffed by an eclectic mix of short bus rejects.

   Though they were apparently afflicted by more neurosis than the staff of the White House, I stll felt that it was my civic duty to attempt to improve their lot in life.  Which I did, by allowing them to bask in the glow of my brilliance while they continued to toil away slavishly at their what can only be described as “intellectually malfeasant” blog.

   Today I received my comeuppance.  In the best tradition of no good deed shall go unpunished these blog slugs somehow paid someone to create pictures with words on them for their little corner of blog hell.  These pictures are of cats.  These pictures are linked to posts, one of which is cleverly titled 6 a.m. Hateful, and written by me.  Yeah.  They linked my blog to a cat.  Not even a good cat coated in cornbread and served with potatoes and gravy.  A furry ornery little fourlegged version of satan is what they linked my pristinely virtuous literary masterpiece to.

  We’re these not obviously the human versions of a gene pool picostimus I would be on them like Doug Heffernan on a chicken…like the pope on an alter boy…like linsey lohan on a crack pipe.  Instead I shall rise above because picking on the mentally handicapped is not acceptable behaviour.  Also because they are far superior to me technologically, and this kind of thing would almost certainly keep happening if i were to declare a blog war. 

Payback is a bitch they tell me, and ms. Bagel has one coming.  The rest of them of course shall be tossed in under the guilt by association clause. 

Bunch of icanhazcheeseburger wannabe’s.

very funny

  

Ron Paul in the spotlight

   An ABC news story about Ron Paul?  Whoa baby.  That oughtta get the genital juices flowing.  I fear a run on 6 packs, gun racks, and tighty whities.  It’s not much of an article.  They mainly rehash his wikipedia bio and talk about how I’mpressive his $3 million in campaign cash is.  They even say that his followers say that he could be a serious underdog candidate.  Oh man, thats about the kind of glowing reference I’d give my ex.  “her mom says she is nice,” and “when she isn’t demanding that you do everything her way, she might have real potential” her preacher stated.

   Really though, that’s who Ron Paul is.  He’s the ex.  Ex-libertarian, ex-doctor,  ex-communicated republican.  He continues to turn in the big 2% poll numbers, and if nothing else his followers don’t lack for persistence.  They will annoy the hell out of anyone that will listen about how this is the right man for our country.  Never mind that between his religious beliefs, and his political positions, even his followers can’t quite figure out what to call him.  I’m sticking with no hoper, until he can spin out a double digit number in any forum other than the net.  You have to leave your computer to vote, so his following here doesn’t count really.

The Ron Paul ultimatum

  My favorite line is “go read what he wrote about….”  Do you really think that everyone that does not support Ron Paul is to ignorant to have taken the time to track his policy decisions, to read his speeches from the floor of the house, and to check out his campaign site?  Is everyone that doesn’t support Ron Paul to stupid to formulate an opinion based on that research?

   It just may be that we have read him.  It could be that we just don’t totally agree with him.  Is that so hard to believe?  Maybe I think abortion is a personal choice.  Maybe I believe people should have to go through rigorous checks before they are allowed to purchase an M-60 machine gun.  Maybe I think the gold standard is an idiotic and outdated method of running a monetary system, and just maybe, and I know this is a stretch,  I think state government running my life would be worse for me than the fed doing it.

   He has a lot of ideas, but doesn’t explain how he will pay for them with his new small government.   He wants to protect our coastlines and our borders, but doesn’t explain how he will do so without creating a gigantic federal bureaucracy to accomplish the task. 

He has a lot of obfuscations and dodges for why he doesn’t vote on issues that are of grave concern to the american populace.  He wraps himself in the constitution like it is the holy grail of federal politics, but then on his own campaign site he advocates gutting the 5th and the fourteenth amendments.

 I’m sorry.  I respect your opinions and your desire to follow this man who on many levels I agree with. unfortunately, I am of the opinion that he advocates a lot of things he can’t make happen.  Ron Paul is quite likely a very good person.  He is also a major league anachronism.   A man who talks about change after 20 years inside the beltway.  He is not the saviour of our country.  He is just another small piece of the problem, albeit a fairly original one.

lets do the news

  first the really important story…It’s a human interest story from the Grape Gazette.

Roscoe, fluffy and mollie seem to be hitting it off.  In fact I’m almost certain there may be a little inter-species lesbian thing going on if you know what I mean.  Roscoe is happy because someone speaks his language, mollie is happy because she has someone to snuggle with, and If I’m not mistaken the two of them being happy means FLUFFY IS A FREAK.

Maybe the rat bastards won’t kill me and grill me after all.

   the new intelligence estimate is out.  I’m willing to bet half of the readers here could’ve done as well.  Why do they always play politics with our security?  you would think on this at least they would all speak with one voice.  they can’t though.  You can’t be the most important if you agree with someone else.   Here’s the link…you shouldn’t bother…nothing new here

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20070717/ap_on_go_ca_st_pe/us_terror_threat_39;_ylt=AjjTS5Ima.DS.aCafPZKAGsL1vAI

  Pakistan is trying to take the lead in the death by suicide bombing category from Iraq.  Man what a mess they are, and our assistant secretary of state is calling for more military action from Pervez .  Man, we do have some seriously militaristic type s running our country.  Unfortunately, the ruling party in the congress (the democrats) have no balls, so it will continue.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20070717/ap_on_re_as/pakistan_74;_ylt=AjbIywqw550DxJcms7ct2jyWwvIE

I don’t know about you, but I love poker.  I’m a huge 7 card stud fan, but the game of choice has become texas hold ’em.  Probably because any idiot can figure it out.  It’s preschool poker, but its big time money.  The world series of poker main event final table is playing, and the winner is going home over $8M richer.  Only Lee Watkinsoon is recognizeable, and the players come from all over the globe.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/19777938/

Harry Potter book available in its entirity online.  ok, this is really cool.   First….read the blue box on the left with the guys picture on it.  Then read the story.  Then go, well what the hell does that ….

http://redtape.msnbc.com/2007/07/pirates-say-the.html

In keeping with the Bush Administrations policy of attacking anyone anytime, parachutists jumped on the fremont prison in colorado.  I think its about time we attacked colorado.  whats interesting is these guys, when asked for identification gave the guards a paper that said they were defense department employees…that may not seem like much to you civilians, buut any former military man or woman reading this is going HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,289551,00.html

A pro wrestling story just for MDVP..its the chris benoit thing, and it lays out a pretty good run on how it all went down…Yes, he had steroids in his system

http://www.cnn.com/2007/US/07/17/wrestler.murder/index.html

  I told you text messaging was from hell.  This story is one you gotta see…then tell your kids to watch it.

http://www.cnn.com/video/#/video/us/2007/07/17/snow.texting.and.driving.cnn

Obama girl vs. giuliani girl…this is pretty dumb, but I’ve never linked to booty on my blog so here yuh go

http://www.cnn.com/video/#/video/offbeat/2007/07/16/moos.obama.rudy.affl

maybe the first step toward proving me right, Iran and the U.s will hold direct talks about Iraq in Baghdad.  The pauliacs will hate this, and Ron Paul must be shuffking his scare mongering feet a little too.

http://www.cnn.com/2007/POLITICS/07/17/us.iran.iraq.ap/index.html

ok, that does it for the news…lots of murders, a dude burned his wife to death, Michael Vick indicted for dog fighting (what an asswit he is), those nurses accused of spreading HIV in children in libya are getting their death sentences commuted to life in prison, etc. etc.  It just oges on.  I think next time I do the news I’ll only do the good stuff.  Which means this post would’ve been one paragraph long

the troops support Ron Paul?

  The numbers are in.  They have been crunched, and it appears the military supports Ron Paul. The numbers do not tell us why, but it stands to reason that people who choose to bein the military tend toward patriotic views, and Ron has that market fairly well cornered now that John McCain has done his typical step-on-the-dick campaign for president.

  So what do the numbers tell us?  I’m going to round way up (thats in favor of Ron Paul, pauliacs…climb out of my rectum.  We’re going to call it 30,000 dollars the troops gave paul.  If we just count the troops in Iraq, thats about 20 cents per head.  Not exactly an overwhelming number is it folks?  How much you bet I can find you 100 blogs right now crowing about it like it was manna from heaven?  whoops, thats not the whole military though, and this counts veterans…woof…that blows…lets see….call it 2.8 million in the active and reserve, and lowball it at the same number of vets equals 5.6 million.  Well folks…thats substantially less than a penny a piece.  Damn, No wonder the blog is blowing up about this.

the irrepressive pauliacs are at it again.  Don’t laugh at them.  They get way defensive

Sunday is for random thoughts #6

1.  Everyone who has ever accused me of being self destructive was pissed off at me for putting me before them.

2. old people brag about wisdom because everything else is going to hell on them.

3. fashion tip: go down to the dock…look at what the hookers are wearing…and don’t wear that.

4.  more fashion:  I wonder which guys are walking through walmart, see the lingerie, and thinks  “my girlfriend/wife/boyfriend would so love that”

5.  If I tell roscoe (see previous post) that max “linked” to him maybe he’ll take it sexually and go after HER ankle.

6.  It’s unfair I had to work today, even if yesterdays slothfulness caused it.  God didn’t have to work on Sunday, and he has proven to be nearly worthless.

7. Starbucks closed it’s store in the forbidden city because people thought it “marred” a historical site…only approximately 13,000 more to go. Woohoo.

8.  I wonder why running students over with tanks in Tianamen Square didn’t “mar”  that historical site.

9.  If we could harness the hot air coming from the mouths of politicians and turn it into an energy source, we would never need fossil fuels again.

10.  I bet humans taste better than they look.  Except Salma Hayek.

11.  for the first time i was “hit” more by search engines than referrers.  I wonder if that means I’m now hated everywhere.

12.  My uncle glen died today.  Being in your forties seems to make this occur a lot more.  That makes 7 in two years.

13. I’ve decided to start wearing a kilt.  I look great in knee socks, and it will facilitate my efforts to revitalize the lost art of mooning.

14.  Vote Grape!!!!  I’ve decided the official wine for my campaign will be anything with a screw on lid… no cheap funky tasting corks for my supporters.

15.  I once rode a rodeo bull.  Well, sort of. It was open the gate fall off as i recall.  Drinking does not help one make good choices, btw

16.  It also does not make you charming.  It does make you more tolerable to other drunks though.

17.  A good diet, regular sleep schedule, and a low stress existence increases your chances of being able to wear a diaper, and be abused in a nursing home for several years instead of only a couple.

18. To give away to good home.  one rabbit.  He is vicious, perverted, and cranky as hell.  Tranquilizer gun and 12 darts included.  Call anytime after 6.

19.  Pauliacs make me laugh a lot, but some of his followers are kind of bright.  Which leaves you wondering what the hell is Tsoldrin smoking, anyways?

20.  Someday you will look back on the time you spent reading the criminy infestation, and wonder why the hell you didn’t spend more time clipping your nails.

21.  Have a good week.  Make a difference.  Eat something thats bad for you.  Avoid assholes (my readership will decline),and smile more than you did this week.Treat someone you like to an ice cream.  tell someone you don;t like the truth about how you feel about them and why.  Wait for the swelling to go down and then tell them again.  Persistence is always respected.

ps  I went to Susan the astrologer nutbags blog.  She pegged me on the love thing…missed by several miles on everything else.  Another hack.

the hue and cry

   Well the sunday of work more or less killed my random thoughts mood so I’ll try to whip that out later.  Right now I’m more thinking about the insanity I keep hearing on the news.  Shall we?

   Ok, Pauliacs, enough is probably enough, and you guys have really blown this one out of proportion.  I agree that he did not say that the government was planning bogus terrorist attacks.  It seems maybe I’m the only non-pauliac saying it, but thats no reason for you folks to blow a valve or something.  Cardiac care is important, and the old blood pressure is going through the moon on you guys .   Why don’t you discuss the rest of that insipidly stupid interview?  Or was that not your take on it?  I am up to my ears with the whole Ron Paul is the only candidate interested in liberty.  Lets look at his record.  He is interested in doing nothing.  Ever.  That’s what his interest is.  His voting record smacks of abject cowardice, and his hiding behind the constitution, a document that is to hard to change to gaurantee liberty for anyone let alone everyone, continues to wither with the populace.  Quit whining because he got misquoted.  Libertarians are notorious for misquoting anyone that doesn’t agree with them, and this year is no exception.

   Maliki said we could leave anytime we wanted, but today one of his aids translated that to “we want you to stay as long as you want and train our troops.”  Nice.  Wonder which cloak and dagger clown the white house sent to Put Maliki in his place?  If anyone thought he wasn’t our trained lap dog, this should change your mind on that.  Our seating an “elected” government in Iraq is maybe the dirtiest thing we have done over there.  They are making no headway, or effort, to reach the benchmarks established by “us” again.  Is Iraq now the 51st state or something?    Bring home the troops…let the humanitarian disaster begin.

   It’s not Iran, it’s Pakistan dummies.  While its possible the pauliacs are right, and George Bush really is dumb enough to enter open conflict with Iran, the good bet from a security stand point is Pakistan…here’s why.

Israel showed at Osirak that they are not going to let a muslim country have nukes.  They won’t let Iran either if it comes down to it.  They only listen to us if their security is not directly threatened, and Israel has always felt that a middle east nation with the bomb is a direct threat to their existence…which it is.  They have the bomb, so it’s a little hypocritical to say others shouldn’t, but I’m kind of an Israel fan so I don’t mind a little hypocrisy.

Pakistan has the bomb.  Several attempts have been made on Musharrafs life.  The al qaeda #2 has given us the three warnings notification required by the Quran.  Osama showed up on a video tape.  Whether he is alive or dead is an academic question. All the portents are there, and al qaeda has called for holy war against the pakistani government.

If we are going to invest ourselves in open conflict anywhere it really needs to be there.  Thats the threat.  We can defuse the Iranian issue with diplomacy, and a slow but coming withdrawal from Iraq.  Al Qaeda and the Taliban have proven they can’t be talked to, and its time to finish the little mess we made there.  Sorry pauliacs and messiah…you’re gnashing of teeth and rending of flesh over your projected Gulf of Tonkin incident makes no sense in the big picture.  Of course, Bush has proven he isn’t a big picture guy.

   These pesky muslims really have us chasing our tail don’t they?  We never learn from our mistakes, and this is proof of it.  When you get a snake by the neck you choke it until it is dead, dead, dead, you don’t let it go to see if it will bite you again.

watch me pull a barrel of oil out of this hat

  George you retard.  what are you thinking.  This camelbanger Maliki says we can leave whenever we want.  Pay attention here big fella. WE WANT.  They’re ready for doom.  They know that no matter how long we stay they are doomed to die horrible deaths on the shifting sands of the Muddle East (not a typo).  We can’t win this, they can’t survive this, so let’s quit putting off the inevitable.  I know it bites to be wrong.  I hate it to.  Yet when you have the temerity to think you can pull down the only powerful secular leader in a region full of oil and extremism, you kind of have to expect to fail.  Going in was a mistake.  Staying in once the leader they chose says you may go is, dare I say it? Anti-American.

     Ron Paul declares that the U.S. will not declare war on Iran, but will rather trick them into a confrontation.  I like Ron’s position on many things, but realize that he is a waste of time.  He has the ability to ensure a democrat wins the presidency, but his myopic libertarian stance is sure to make him unelectable.  I read an interesting peice on libertarians that all political junkies should read.  Duck, here comes the LINK.  Do not judge a book by its cover.  This post is well written, factual, and the title and name of the blog just add a little humor.

wag the dog.  Here is a tip for some of you that just like international intrigue.  It’s not real factual stuff.  I’ve been reading it for awhile.  It’s amazing how the internet can have an impact on what is at best a minor issue.  type Iranian oil bourse in your browser, and enjoy the tale.

the blog is doing well.  I likely post to often, but it’s mine, I’ll play with it if i want.  I first used that argument when i was 13 and was in the bathroom and…nevermind.  I found a new site I like. the pic caught my eye, and then what the blogger was doing piqued my interest.  It’s well done, and fun so what the hell.  Go look at the pic if you do nothing else.

 Since I haven’t dug up many new decent blogs let me pitch a couple things i’ve found on some old ones.

  Anita is at it again with her unfinished stories.  what a concept.  Let the reader torture themselves about how it ends.  I really liked this one.

MDVP is on hiatus over at forest opine while he works on his islamo-magnum-opus.  A fun thing to do while he is away is to read his hiatus post backwards.  It will make Al Gore appear in hologram in your bathroom.

  If you ever wander past celluloid blonde, and you scroll like 86 feet down to the bottom, there is a little tab marked Random Blonde.  You won’t like everything you find there, and some of you may not like it at all.  I personally highly recommend it for its variety, brevity, and creativity.  the pictures are great, the storytelling emotional, and the blurbs sometimes outrageous.  Take the post apocalyptic you quiz while you’re there.

  Roscoe the wonder bunny has a new collar and leash.  i have belled the bunny.  It’s my version of the sexual predator registry.  now when he wants a little ankle time I’ll here him coming.

That takes care of this week in my world.  Oh yeah, 6 a.m. hateful has been well received.  I’m not doing it on the weekends because who wants to hear that crap on their days off.

Ron Paul Did Not Warn of Staged Terror Attacks

  The way the question was asked allows that misconception to leap onto the pages of blogs everywhere.  What Ron Paul did was not address that point at all.  The interviewer should be basted with liquidated lard and beaten with rubber truncheons for his incredibly bad interview style, but Ron isn’t guilty of that offense.  He did spazz out and warn of an Impending “Gulf of Tonkin” style incident involving Iran. 

Iran is problematic.  Their president is a former member of the student group that kidnapped American Embassy employees in 1979.  They slapped the Carter administration around for over a year while playing “gunpoint” politics on a world stage made possible by liberalisms almost kneejerk reaction to coddle any group of psychopaths.  Their desire to let extremists suckle at their bosom has long propped up terrorist organizations, and now it appears the libertarian movement has joined the crowd. 

  So, what we have is a candidate for president lending cover to an islamic-extremist government.  He can say he is against our government interjecting itself in foreign matters, but he appears to be doing exactly that.  There is little doubt, even in the extreme left wing media that Iran is investing itself heavily in the war in Iraq.  They have long sought to attain oil rich areas of Iraq, and in fact fought a war over disputed territories with the former Hussein regime.  They failed against Saddam, and now are salivating all over themselves in anticipation of an American withdrawal.

    Ahmadinejad is no fool.  Ron Paul might be.  He is aiding the enemy when he acts like Iran does no wrong. He is propping up his political ambitions with fear mongering rhetoric.  It is likely to backfire, because Iran has no desire to enter into open conflict with the U.S., and the Bush administration is very unlikely to initiate open hostilities with them. Ron’s claim that we are setting up a Golf of Tonkin style incident has two huge flaws politically. First, while the Gulf of Tonkin incident was overblown, the Maddox was attacked, so the initial reports of the incident did occur.  Iran is not going to openly attack a U.S. warship. They are not as stupid as the pauliacs want them to be.  They are just psychotic, a much more dangerous animal, it’s true, but easier to understand. Second, the U.S. has to attack Iran for Ron Paul not to look like a raving spank monkey, and they just aren’t going to.

   So for all you pauliacs that want to do the semantic arguments about that interview, go snuggle up to your conspiracy theories, and watch as your fearless leaders drags his candidacy into oblivion with this nonsense.