Mail Call

September 18, 2007

  The reason I get an e-mail box is because it is required to sign up on websites.  It is rarely used.  The reason it is rarely used is because I don’t use it…except rarely.  I’ll open it once in a blue moon unless someone says “hey,  I sent you an e-mail.”  I open it seldomly for the simple reason that I am in  an advanced stage of “youth erosion,” and refuse to do anything that requires energy and isn’t mandatory to sustain life.

   So today I got a text message that said “I sent you an e-mail. ”  It was from a company doing business with a company I’m doing some consulting for.  Thusly, about 4 hours after I arrived home from work I rushed to my E-mail.  It was a missive explaining the piping that will be used on the project, and was very important to my finishing my work on the project.  I shall deal with it next Tuesday.

   Below it was a note from one of my esteemed readers.  It read;

Are you dead?  Was it painful? *hopeful look*

   Now normally I don’t answer e-mails unless I like the person…a lot.

This one however deserved a reply.

“yes.”  “and yes.”  “Now please quit emailing me.”

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More road rage stories

August 17, 2007

    There was a great road rage incident today out by the airport.  I wasn’t in it, but had the good fortune of being right behind it.  It’s kind of a funny road.  It’s a T with a split in it, and it carries 3 lanes of traffic that split again about 1/2 a block north.  The cars come together there all the time, but I’ve yet to be stopped by an accident.  On the way to work two cars did the swerve thing, and came close enough together that they both ended stalled right in the middle of the road.  This incredibly stout woman in the passenger seat of the one car screams out the window “you should learn how to drive.”  In the other car is a runtish man of about 90 that can probably see just a  little between the top of the steering wheel and the dashboard.  The litte guy had moxie though, and he yelled back ” you should learn to shut your coc&$ucker.”

   Well I was just tickled as shit.  The mornings have been rough lately, and entertainment on the way to work is a good thing.  I’ve been scowling a lot lately, and a nice little altercation between inept motorists was just what the doctor ordered.

It gets better.   This woman gets beet red, and lumbers out of her car.  She struggles to achieve a totally erect position, but I have to tell you she was as imposing as a grizzly when she did.   So I’m thinking “this is to good to be true…I’m going to get to watch a little old man get the supreme crap kicked out of him by a semiambulatory behemoth of a woman.”  So,  I shut the car off, and I pull a Dew out of the cooler.  Then this crazy wench does the strangest thing…

   She reaches in between the two largest breasts  I’ve ever seen.  I’m almost sure they had their own gravity and were orbiting around her.  She pulls out this gargantuan crucifix and starts praying for the dude.

  If she prayed for him to start his car up and drive away while calling her a “loony B1tch” her prayers were answered.  I’m not so much for the praying, but if divine intervention placed me right there, right then, I’ll happily kiss gods ass for at least a month of sundays.


music…i don’t do that

July 10, 2007

well, I like music, but I get bored snotless when people talk about it.  What could be more dysfunctional than spending all your time talking about your Ipod playlist?  I know, y’all now think I’m a heathen commie, and thats cool.  I’ve never been able to do a music post, but i found this site that adds perspective to music as it relates to life.  It’s sorta funny, and worth a look.

there, I have now done a post relating in some small way to music.  Feel free to shoot my boring ass.


When you want something

July 10, 2007

You tend to pull out the big guns.   You know what your big guns are, and you know how you’ll use them if the need arises.  It’s not unnatural or abnormal to do this.   A normal person will do what he has to to get what he wants.  Naturally there are societal pressures brought to bear that make most people limit the usage of their big guns. 

    Whats funny to me is how many really heinous things are lawful.  How many horrid things normal people can do to each other that never even approach unlawful behaviour.  Children are used all the time for bad purposes.  Got a divorce case? Break out the kids.  Make them hate mommy or daddy, or god forbid use them to make daddy stay with mommy , or vice versa.  It’s a rotten thing to do, and children, all children, deserve a better form of love than this behaviour implies.

    That to me is probably the ultimate legal big gun.  Tarring and feathering should be reinstated as a lawful punishment for people that would use their children in this way.  there are many, many, others.  Use your friends, your influence, your job, your talent, to get the reaction from someone that you desire.  It’s often without any wrongful intent, and I’m not talking about that.  When you use these things to bring harm to another though you have crossed an ethical line that may not be addressed by the law. Fortunately there is a little thing called karma that will balance it out in the end.  As for me, the normal things that normal people do, suck, and so do the normal people that do them.

author’s note: this is apropo of nothing.  if you think I am talking about you you are likely wrong.  I do not interject myself into the affairs of others, and therefore this can’t be about you.