lets do the news

  first the really important story…It’s a human interest story from the Grape Gazette.

Roscoe, fluffy and mollie seem to be hitting it off.  In fact I’m almost certain there may be a little inter-species lesbian thing going on if you know what I mean.  Roscoe is happy because someone speaks his language, mollie is happy because she has someone to snuggle with, and If I’m not mistaken the two of them being happy means FLUFFY IS A FREAK.

Maybe the rat bastards won’t kill me and grill me after all.

   the new intelligence estimate is out.  I’m willing to bet half of the readers here could’ve done as well.  Why do they always play politics with our security?  you would think on this at least they would all speak with one voice.  they can’t though.  You can’t be the most important if you agree with someone else.   Here’s the link…you shouldn’t bother…nothing new here

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20070717/ap_on_go_ca_st_pe/us_terror_threat_39;_ylt=AjjTS5Ima.DS.aCafPZKAGsL1vAI

  Pakistan is trying to take the lead in the death by suicide bombing category from Iraq.  Man what a mess they are, and our assistant secretary of state is calling for more military action from Pervez .  Man, we do have some seriously militaristic type s running our country.  Unfortunately, the ruling party in the congress (the democrats) have no balls, so it will continue.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20070717/ap_on_re_as/pakistan_74;_ylt=AjbIywqw550DxJcms7ct2jyWwvIE

I don’t know about you, but I love poker.  I’m a huge 7 card stud fan, but the game of choice has become texas hold ’em.  Probably because any idiot can figure it out.  It’s preschool poker, but its big time money.  The world series of poker main event final table is playing, and the winner is going home over $8M richer.  Only Lee Watkinsoon is recognizeable, and the players come from all over the globe.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/19777938/

Harry Potter book available in its entirity online.  ok, this is really cool.   First….read the blue box on the left with the guys picture on it.  Then read the story.  Then go, well what the hell does that ….

http://redtape.msnbc.com/2007/07/pirates-say-the.html

In keeping with the Bush Administrations policy of attacking anyone anytime, parachutists jumped on the fremont prison in colorado.  I think its about time we attacked colorado.  whats interesting is these guys, when asked for identification gave the guards a paper that said they were defense department employees…that may not seem like much to you civilians, buut any former military man or woman reading this is going HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,289551,00.html

A pro wrestling story just for MDVP..its the chris benoit thing, and it lays out a pretty good run on how it all went down…Yes, he had steroids in his system

http://www.cnn.com/2007/US/07/17/wrestler.murder/index.html

  I told you text messaging was from hell.  This story is one you gotta see…then tell your kids to watch it.

http://www.cnn.com/video/#/video/us/2007/07/17/snow.texting.and.driving.cnn

Obama girl vs. giuliani girl…this is pretty dumb, but I’ve never linked to booty on my blog so here yuh go

http://www.cnn.com/video/#/video/offbeat/2007/07/16/moos.obama.rudy.affl

maybe the first step toward proving me right, Iran and the U.s will hold direct talks about Iraq in Baghdad.  The pauliacs will hate this, and Ron Paul must be shuffking his scare mongering feet a little too.

http://www.cnn.com/2007/POLITICS/07/17/us.iran.iraq.ap/index.html

ok, that does it for the news…lots of murders, a dude burned his wife to death, Michael Vick indicted for dog fighting (what an asswit he is), those nurses accused of spreading HIV in children in libya are getting their death sentences commuted to life in prison, etc. etc.  It just oges on.  I think next time I do the news I’ll only do the good stuff.  Which means this post would’ve been one paragraph long

A Love(lust) Story

   I couldn’t put my finger on it, but there was something tense going on last night.   Like something was about to happen, and how I handled it would be a watershed moment in a new relationship. Even mollie could tell something was strange, based on the nervous way she was wandering about the house.  I could not get her to calm down, and everytime someone came to the door she would bark.  Mollie almost never barks when I’m home, so it was giving me a little case of the nerves.

    I decided to lie down on the couch, and watch some TV.  I was taking my shoes off and the phone rang.  I answered, even though I didn’t recognize the number.  Usually, thats a no no. I generally have no desire to speak to people I don’t know, and never give my number out to strangers.  The call wasn’t important, but Roscoe took that opportunity to come over and give my ankle its evening hug.  Except this time the little pervert sank his teeth into my shinbone, and began humping my ankle like a 5 pound furry jackhammer.

    Needless to say I was stunned with the ferocity of his attack.  I’d heard the expression “fuck like bunnies,” but always assumed that had to do with their exceptional rate of procreation.  This wasn’t a ferocious form of hug either.  He was obviously humping, and a former girlfriend explained to me once that animals in the wild often bite the neck of the creature they are mating with.   Yeah, she was a bit of a freak. The teeny tiny hard rabbit penis was also a clue.

   Anyway, I peeled the furry little ankle raper off my leg, and flipped em onto the couch.  Roscoe started pacing, and occassionally stopped to place his front paws up on the couch and stare at my feet with that “yeah, I got me some of that” look.  disconcerting it was, but not scary or anything.  I’d never had my ankle violated before, but he is after all a fucking bunny, and can easily be transformed into glove linings and a bowl of stew.

     I reached up and turned off the lamp, the little lagomorph Lothario struck again.  This time he leapt onto the couch, and began ravaging my shin.  I snatched him off and placed him back on the floor.  Rabbits are not cats.  You can’t bounce them off the wall just because they deserve it.  Rabbits are fragile.  I don’t care how hopped up on honey nut cheerios and testosterone they are.  We repeated ths sequence three times before I’d had enough of his amorous advances.

    I rose from my perch on the couch, and did that which I have never done to him before.  I locked him in his cage.  Normally it is there for him to go crap in, and to eat and drink in.  I felt 4 sexual assaults we’re enough to warrant some form of incarceration (pretty much just like our judicial system in that regard).  I returned to the ocuch and spent the next hour listening to him stomp around his cage, and growl like some miniature bobcat or something.  Apparently horniness makes rabbits act rabid.

    I’m not sure what got into him.  Whether it was a full moon (again, former girlfriends have been affected much like Mr. Roscoe was acting by the phases of the moon), he was just randy, or if the yogurt treats I gave him work like an aphrodisiac.  What I do know is if that little shit whistles at me when I walk in the door his ass is staying in solitary confinement until hell freezes over.