let’s schmooze the news

July 31, 2007

Haven’t done this in a week or so.  I’ve been to busy writing about inane crap to contemplate writing about the truly banal baloney…

well the iraqi parliament is leaving on their August hiatus.   Like our congress, their vacation is far more important to them than their people are.  What I really like is the almost afterthought at the bottom.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20070730/ap_on_re_mi_ea/iraq_070717170945;_ylt=As1_FH88czmBIiJTb0db0qEL1vAI

So much for honor amongst thieves.  Michael Vicks co-conspirator is singing like a canary.  It looks bad for Michael, but we shouldn’t rush to judgement.  We should casually walk to it, as casually as he abused these dogs.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20070730/ap_on_sp_fo_ne/fbn_vick_co_defendant_13;_ylt=AlEhndC_3dAjmmzF21oPQmsL1vAI

The Elect Billary campaign is insulted by the fashion article about ms. hillary’s cleavage.  Like its a bad thing.  Trust me hillary, you want me looking at your breasts and not listening to your words. Oh who am i kidding…I’m a nancy’s jugs guy anyway.  Hillary couldn’t get my vote if she did a cirque du soleil act naked with the swedish bikini team.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20070730/od_nm/usa_politics_clinton1_dc_1;_ylt=AmXrK7.vCfiU5OVwy8saCTcL1vAI

There is a wind blowing in from Iowa, and it’s going to save us all.  Smells like asswind to me, but if the DOW hits 17,000 like they suggest they need to turn their attention to a problem with global ramifications…roscoe’s attitude.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20070730/od_nm/stocks1_dc_1;_ylt=AjmBUZPXC5AmeeLzH.QwWKYL1vAI

your asshole is on my facebook.  Just go read it.  sexual predators are to easy a target, and I’m not in the mood for ez.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/20041040/

Well grease me up with butter and beat me with a horsewhip…a feel good news story on criminyjickets.  This one just made me smile.  No clues for you.  duh, look at the link before you go if you’re that curious.

http://www.cnn.com/2007/POLITICS/07/30/lawmaker.raid.ap/index.html

I bet it doesn’t pass, but here’s another honest government bill.  The only thing I don’t like is it doesn’t say the lawmakers name will be publicized with his earmark, and I think that would be a deterrant.  It does make it tougher to keep an unrelated earmark in a bill though.

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,291429,00.html

You go Rosie.  I still think you’re a pig, but this was class all the way.

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,291363,00.html

HoBama?  I like it.  Their little fued is going to distance them from the rest of the candidates, and just a coupleweeks after I said they would be the ticket for the dems, Newt Gingrich agreed.  We should maybe do the butter/horsewhip thing again here.

http://www.update08.foxnews.com/

ok, that doesn’t even scratch the surface, but I’m hiking slagcaster moulds up steps tomorrow, and I wish to go lie down and hate the idea of that for awhile.  I didn’t mention the depths of human depravity stories I found.  Lots of murder and death today.   lot of  dead children.  Sorta ruins the mood.


just some Ideas

June 27, 2007

1  Now that she’s free, Paris Hilton should announce on Larry King Live that she will follow in the footsteps of Mother Teresa, but with a twist.  Her mission shall be to give driving lessons to itinerant millionaires.

2.  Rosie O’donnel should sign with MSNBC.   She should host a talk show on conservative christian values that could compete with the 700 club on daytime TV.  I’ll be at work.

3.   Now that a massive forest fire is threatening the ritzy Lake Tahoe area, I think they should start talking about how forest fires are natural and healthy for the environment more.  Let this one burn for awhile.  The area has an infestation of multimillion dollar homes that need to be removed anyway.

4.  As much as I hate to agree with the militiamen…Ron Paul IS being ignored by the media.  He would get more press if he’d just listen to me and get a boobjob.

5.  Anyone notice how there have been an awful lot of riots in Europe over the last few years?  If thats what being more civilized is all about I’ll pass.  They should act more like us.

6.  In telling the tale of Roscoe’s love affair with my foot I received several anecdotes from others that lead me to believe that not only are rabbits liberals, but they are Bill Clinton liberals.

7.  Tom Cruise wants to make a movie about Adolf Hitler.  Now, considering he is a scientologist, I think he should attend the premiere.  Maybe in Jerusalem? or Tel Aviv?

8.  I think someone should slip Alli into the next congressional luncheons main course.  It may turn the Potomac orange, but I think it would be worth it when you consider all the useless crap it would purge.

author’s note:  This is a work of at best dubious humor.  I do not now, nor have I ever advocated committing felonies against the leadership of the united states.

I’ve recommended they be exiled, but that’s as far as I go.  I’m not a Ron Paul follower for gosh sakes.

9.  While I hate to pile on, Dick Cheney should get off the high horse he is on, and obey the presidential directive.  Instead he is accusing the democrats of playing politics, and they are.  Just once Dickhead, er, I mean Dickless, no thats not it either.  Uh just plain dick…just once, be the bigger buttmunch, and cave.

10.  I need Ted Kennedy to tell me what the right thing to do is?  Get outta town.  We Talking Ted, I got drunk and drove my car into the water at Chappaquiddick killing a young woman, and have never had to pay any price for this crime Ted Kennedy?  Why the hell do those Idiots in massachusetts vote for this murderer?  He is the proof beyond any other except that rascist former KKK clown Robert Byrd that our system is fatally flawed.  Both democrats.  A racist and a drunken murderer…and they call conservatives bad people.  thats nervy.


how about a little beach erosion money for West Virginia?

June 24, 2007

    Ok, that takes care of the Ron Paul folks.  Lets do the liberals.  While watching the elections I saw a lot of discourse about Earmarks.   No you little spank monkeys…thats not what you get when your lover chews on your lobe.  Its something our elected representatives do when they wish to pull a little pirate action on the public coffers.  They specify the funds for a specific project, and without saying who is requesting the funds publically;  insert it into an appropriations bill.  The bill is voted on, and a list of special projects longer than your mother-in-laws list of complaints about you is passed or rejected.  No vote on the specific project, just a vote on the overall package.

    Now here’s the fun part.  The democrats were gonna clean up congress.  So , just as a guess….who do you think is the shining beacon of hope for ending earmarks.  Why Robert Byrd of course.  You know, the 264 year old senator from West Virginia who during the ocurse of his illustrious career has brought home more pork than the big bad wolf.  Putting this guy in charge of appropriations is like putting Captain Jack Sparrow in charge of the rum cabinet.

     So to my lovable, if a bit profane leftie friends, a question….What exactly does the left have against ending earmarks?