The Weekend in Review

September 4, 2007

  So did everybody have a good holiday weekend?  Well, I know not everybody, but if most of you did, good on yuh.

How about those Michigan Wolverines?  I was so tickled I couldn’t quit smiling all weekend.  Being a dyed in the wool Badgers fan, seeing the always overrated Wolverines get dumped on their head by Appalachian State was better than a good heroin binge.  The badgers beat Washington state (boohoo PNW), and Notre Dame got monkey stomped by Georgia Tech.  All in all it was a perfect day in college football.

    I went to a Mexican wedding with the chango’s from work, and other than the Cerveza (sol) tasting like warm horse piss it was a really good time.  I taught a whole passel of senorita’s how to eat the worm out of a Mezcal bottle without drinking the whole damn thing, and the food was spectacular.  I was asked to show my “green-go card” several times, and managed to extricate myself from the fiesta before I got inebriated enough to start calling everybody Pancho Villa.

   George Bush may not be the best president we ever had, but he did something really intelligent last night.  Merely by sneaking out of town to go to Anwar, he showed the world that the American Press is to be trusted about as much as Al Jazeera.  So much for investigative journalism.  They were only a half a planet wrong as to where the president was.  Nice job ABC, CNN, FOX, et al.  too funny.

   The menagerie is driving me nuts.  This morning Mollie woke me up before the sun.  This is a no no on non-work days, and had it not been for the pitiful whine she was sounding I would have ignored her and went back to sleep.  When I turned the light on the reason for her whining became all to clear.   General Tso was latched onto her tail, and showed no intention of letting go.  I squeezed the little ratbag’s head till she released her, and went back to sleep.  I start hearing this crunching sound.  I had watched a movie last night prior to going to bed, and had inadvertantly left the case open.  Bad Idea.  Roscoe the asshole…i mean wonder bunny was in their taste testing the DVD cases.  I reached over and closed the door on his head, and then shut it proper when he withdrew.  It’s not like I don’t spend 20 bucks a week to feed the little bastard.  I go back to sleep.  Whilst sleeping I must have gotten warm, because I stuck my foot out from under the blanket, whereupon General Tso, still angry over his ignominious removal from Mollies assfeathers, leaped to the attack.  Kittens have razor sharp claws, and my foot looks like it would if Ron Popeil spent an hour testing his knives on it.

    The kids on the other hand have been easy to get along with.  No fighting, not even a good argument.  Apparently the supplemants (thorazine) I’ve been adding to their food is helping.

Oh yeah, I went on a date with a woman a little less than half my age.  I wouldn’t have, but she was buying, and I learned at a very young age to never pass up free food.  It went ok, and while I doubt I’d put me through it again this wasn’t her fault.  She was polite, charming, intelligent, and named after cheese.  It was all I could do not to beat that into the ground.

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Sunday is for random thoughts #9

August 5, 2007

It’s sunday again.   Time for more random thoughts from the thoughtless.  If you are easily offended hit the out button.  My blog has been caterized, and I’m decidedly cranky.

1.  our schools are in disarray, our infrastructure is crumbling,  and we have over 500 varieties of beer to choose from.  I don’t see a problem here.

2.  I feel that tarring and feathering should be part of the criminal code, and this is when it should be used.

3.   Roscoe chewed through the wires on my cable box.  This was either a suicide attempt or a murder attempt.  Either way it was poorly executed, since we are both still alive.

4.  I would like a bagel with everything so i can go put it under the tire of my car and run over it.  It’s like hanging someone in effigy.  It packs no punch, but you get to feel like an idiot.

5.  If whites and blacks can’t agree that dogfighting is bad, what hope have we of agreeing on anything?  I think blacks only find dogfighting to be ok when its a famous black person.  Kind of like the whole O.J. and murder thing.   It kind of bothers me that this has been made racial.

6.  Give me a hammer, a paring knife, a roll of duct tape, and a fifth of anything with a spanish sounding name, and I’ll make McGuyver look dull normal.

7.  I’m not pleased with the way random thoughts is going today, but at least my Tourettes Syndrome appears to be in remission.

8.  19 million people in Bangladesh and India think Al Gore is a dumbass, and I’m smart as hell…more global wetting issues.

9.   sex is overrated and underutilized.

10.  that being said, you may disrobe now.

11.  While it may seem cute, buying your newborn a shirt that says “now that I’m safe I’m pro-choice” is a fashion no-no.

12.  I’m to sexy…well, I’m not but this is:

my son taught me how to do that.  It has come to my attention that being blog illiterate is not safe.  If only for self defense I need to know how to do more than just type blithering idiocy.  That clip was bastardized from the world of warcraft.  All I can say is that is not a proper form of birth control, but probably works in the abstinence category.  I’ll credit this later…he didn’t get me the URL.

13.   Locking your pets out of your room almost gaurantees a decent 3 hours of sleep.  At which time they will decide they miss you and start fighting like children.  I’m not sure why one of them isn’t already dead.  Dog? Rabbit?  I want some gotdam blood.

14.  Dale Jr. won the pole at pocono, Wisconsin is ranked 7th in the preseason poll, some steroid infused monstrosity hit his 755th home ron, and A-rod got to 500 faster than anyone ever has.  Oh, yeah, some hockey for Janie. Edmonton is going to pay Dustin Penner 21.25 million over 5 years.  Dustin is a 29 goal scorer.  call it 30 and 21 million for argument.  Thats $140,000 per goal.  10 dollar hookers definitely got into the wrong line of work.   

15.  Blogs I read everyday at least once are listed in the blogroll.  The one blog I refuse to miss on sunday, is Anita’s.  She prays.

16.  I’d send y’all over to Ration Reality, but on sunday mornings they read chicken bones, beat up small fur bearing creatures with tire irons, and sacrifice virgins to Loki.

ok, thats enough of this.  Hope your weeks went well, and if they didn’t their will be better times than these.

  


observations

July 26, 2007

Chavez, Castro, Assad, Ahmadinejad, and Jong Il.  Yeah, I know the leaders of venezuela, cuba, syria, iran, and north korea…did you watch the debate?  Hillary’s list of the five leaders went as follows “chavez, castro, the leaders of Iran, Syria, and North Korea.”  I’m not sure I have the nations in the right order, but that is essentially what she said.  ummmmm…maybe it means nothing, but then again…

Her position was right on that issue, and that idjit freshman senator from Illinois better have someone teach him something about how the international stage works, or if he is elected he will look dumber than Jimmy Carter did.

I don’t care what anyone else thinks.  Accepting food into our country without it being checked is as close to negligent government  as you can get.  Will it take a botulism epidemic, or even worse before we start limiting what these “free trade” pirates are allowed to do?  It’s unconscionable of our government not to protect the food supply.

Nuclear power is cheap, clean, effective, and makes a hell of a mess when it goes kablooey.

I’ll say it one more time.  Al Gore has missed the boat.  The problem is Global Wetting

If you are an American, and believe that all people be treated equally under the law, then The John Birch Society should really piss you off.  If it doesn’t you are either so far gone to the right that free thought is no longer in your vocabulary, or you know nothing about them and their history.

F@#k Ward Churchill.  He is a pathetically inept college professor who got caught cheating, and was fired.  I don’t really care what he said about 9/11.  He is your common everyday assmonkey, and I would have no problem fustigating him.

look it up.  It was yesterdays word of the day at work.

  The more hispanic immigrants I come into contact with the more I like them.  I still have a bit of a problem with our government taking the easy way out and shooting for amnesty.  Here is something I can live with.  Charge them for their crime at a felony level, and let them carry that gorilla on their back.  That’s what is done to Americans, and if they wish to be Americans then that is the correct thing to do.  Oopsie, but then they can’t vote in federal elections.  Bummer for the politicians.  Bet my idea is a non-starter.

The more I see of Ron Paul the more I like him.  He would make a great grandpa.  I still would rather eat mucous eggrolls than have him for a president.

If you can’t run with the wildebeests then stay your ass on the porch.

a daddism..I used to cry because I had no shoes, until I met a man that had no feet.  I had shoes and feet, I wanted a bicycle.  i bought my own.  To hell with his podiatrist whimsy.

Well, it would appear that Ms. Lohan is either incredibly stupid, or has a bit of an addiction issue.  Bet she blames daddy when “i’m innocent” wears out.

All men are not created equal.   If you don’t take my word for it, ask the ladies.

Rasmusson is out, and the Tour De Farce has been quite the little nest of cheating vipers.  If you told a professional bicyclist that sucking cow urine through a pigs intestine would make them better they would be lining up to try it.

Barry Bonds either has or will break the home run record, and he used steroids or other performance  enhancing drugs to do it.  Bud Selig’s refusal to be there when it occurs though is the cowards way out.  He allowed it  to go on under his watch, and did nothing to keep this situation from happening and he should have his old rickety ass their to congratulate mister bonds for setting the record under Mr. Seligs version of baseball.  I no longer watch the sport myself…nor follow it, hence not knowing if numbnuts has broken the record or not.  Go Hank Aaron.

I think that will do.  I’m bored, and you quit halfway down.  All my readers haveADD or intellect, and there is no way any of you made it this far.  If you did I do not wish to know.