A note from Ron Paul August 22

Yep, he wrote us a note.  For or against, it is a damn fine read.  He talks about taxes, happy warriors, togetherness, and  monetary policy.  You can see why his followers are so taken by him.  He doesn’t really spell it out, so I thought I would.

Lets start with happy warriors.  Anyone who has ever written a post that contradicted Dr. Paul knows what a hoot this is.  He has some of the most rabid people on the planet supporting him.  they will attack your children, your dead parents, your dog…anything to get an edge.  Ron needs to write a negative blog about himself and see the responses he gets from the pauliac tribesmen.

   The tax thing.  He doesn’t want to replace the IRS with a new tax.  He claims our problem is inflation and an unsound monetary policy that keeps us on a rollercoaster of financial uncertainty.  Here’s what he leaves out.  He wants the states to tax the holy living hell out of us.  He doesn’t want a big federal government, he wants huge monolithic state governments, just like the constitution envisions.  You wouldn’t be taxed less under a Ron Paul regime, you would merely be taxed by someone else.

Freedom brings us all together.  Again, he would be right.  Except his position does not create freedom.  Freedom is not a derivative of the state.  It is, according to his theological ethos I would assume, god granted.  Yet he wants the state to control everything that the fed now controls.  Ron Paul doesn’t envision a nation where abortion isn’t legislated.  He pictures a country where abortion is controlled by the state.   I’m sorry.  His policies would not make me a freer person.  Heres an example of what I mean.  My dog loves going for walks with me.  It’s because she behaves for me and I don’t have to put her on a leash.  She hates going for walks with any of the kids.  In fact they don’t go for walks they go for drags.  She loves the kiddoes, but she hates the leash.  IT DOESN’T APPEAR TO MATTER TO HER WHO IS HOLDING IT.   Ron Paul doesn’t offer you a chance to lose the leash.  He offers you the opportunity to have someone else hold it.  That isn’t freedom.

Unconstitutional government has created…  the guy is always half right.  He doesn’t mention that unconstitutional government has also granted us stability that there is no way the 50 states legislating themselves ever will.  He merely wishes to change the problems we face.  50 powerful little pigs trying to get all the slop for themselves will create a nation that feeds on itself.  At least under the current method we are feeding on others. 

   I’m not trying to change any minds here.  I’m just pointing out the fact that while it sure looks rosie when he says it, the reality could well be an entirely different thing.

Your Tax Dollars at Work

   I’m curious as to whether this would happen under the constitutional government envisioned by Ron Paul.  I’d also like to know where all of the candidates stand on this issue, and would seriously hope that all of them would state there views publically and for the record.  I know Ron Paul is for smaller government, but is he also for smaller members? I also know that the federal government sends millions of our tax dollars to the states every year for law enforcement.  With good reason.  Heinous crimes like the one in this link are perpetrated every day in our society, and I don’t think we have even scratched the surface of this problem.

   If we can afford to spend Billions on the war in Iraq, The war on poverty, the war on drugs, the war on whatever the hell we want, then I think we should start a new war.  The war on masturbation.  I think this fine officer could be the New Whack-off Czar, in the newly formed Chicken-chokers Enforcement Agency.

   I’m serious.  All you spank monkeys better watch your ass.  We’re coming for you.  Ron Paul is going to nip this shit in the bud when he becomes president.  I envision a new constitutional amendment just for you self-lusting pervoids.   We’re going to put you in the newspaper and let your poor old grandma read about you in between her self-love sessions, and when we catch her she’s going in a cell with you.

I’m ashamed of this article, but I just couldn’t help myself.  You  bone beaters better organize.

I didn’t mention women in this article because women don’t masturbate.

Yesterdays Ron Paul post… pro/con

  I am posting this link to yesterdays post because Stanky was kind enough to come over and add explanations of Ron Paul’s issue stance.  He has a decidedly different view than I do, and I think it adds to the informational value of the post.

I do not agree with his position on several of these, but have to admit that his opinion on them is every bit as sensible as mine, even if we have a divergence of the minds on what Ron Pauls intentions are.   I’m not going to go through and repost this, so to get his take read his comments.  They are well formulated, thoughtful, and illuminating.

Thanks again stanky

https://criminyjicket.wordpress.com/2007/07/25/ron-pauls-issuesfrom-his-campaign-site-in-his-own-words/ 

Ron Paul’s issues…from his campaign site, in his own words

I’ll do these by the numbers.  So many have no real idea what he stands for, and one of my commenters wondered if knowing would change anything.  let me know if this changes your opinion of Ron Paul

1.  debt and taxes –  I think my issue here is that someone who wants free trade shouldn’t complain because other nations “buy a piece of the rock” so to speak.  I have read where he supports a consumption tax, but from my own reading, I have never seen him support that without constitutional strings attached.  He does want lower taxes…remember that for later.

2.  American Independence and sovereignty-  he is against U.S. troops being tried for war crimes by an International Criminal Court, he is against GATT NAFTA the WTO, and Cafta…so what free trade is he for?

in this one he also talks down the NAFTA superhighway which is planned along current I-69.  He also is trying to get funding to extend I-69 through Houston.  What the hey, if there is a NAFTA Superhighway he might as well be in on it.

this one is mystifying.  I don’t understand his stance on free trade at all?  Is he talking free international trade with no guidelines or restrictions? what about regulations determining the viability of the products being imported?  He is thin on this one.  He says this as a closing line:

“We must withdraw from any organizations and trade deals that infringe upon the freedom and independence of the United States of America”_Ron Paul (name added by author)

well, you have to give up something in any trade deal Ron.  What is allowed.  He is very vague on his webpage.

3. war and foreign policy.  No war without congressional declaration.  No foreign aid. no isolationism.  Open trade, travel, communication, and diplomacy that pretty well sums it up.  What it doesn’t say is often times diplomacy hinges on foreign aid.  In other words, sometimes governments buy friends in the interest of the greater good.  I agree with the only declared wars line, but the rest of it is  simply from lollipops, gumdrops, and rainbow land.  do not isolate but do not intervene.  Do not give aid or intervene, but use diplomacy. open trade in a nation that heavily regulates its industry with nations that don’t? can you say burgeoning trade deficits, bunkie?  I’m sorry, other than declared wars, this whole block is irrational.  They really need to keep him on his meds.

4. life and liberty _this is the abortion one, folks.  He is against abortion.  No question.  He wants life to be considered to begin at conception.  He has authored legislation that will stop the federal government from intervening in state decisions to defend life…limiting Roe v. Wade.  He does not obfuscate like the pauliacs.  He comes right out and says what he wants , with utter clarity.  In a related issue there is also a lot of bold speak using clipped excerpts that show he supports stem cell research.  This is false.  He supports SOME stem cell research.  He does not and has never supported in any of his speeches embryonic stem cell research, the type scientists and medical experts believe to be the most valuable.  He is against federal funding for any of them.  Here’s a link before you go telling me how dumb I am.

http://www.vote-smart.org/speech_detail.php?sc_id=178619&keyword=&phrase=&contain=

5.  Border security and immigration reform –  he has six bullet points…the most important thing, paying for it isn’t mentioned.  They include (I’ll give a link to the full text at the bottom of this article)  Physically secure our borders and coastlines (and I assume ports), enforce visa rules, no amnesty, no welfare for illegal aliens, end birthright citizenship, pass true immigration reform.  ok  Can we say huge Federal Government Bureaucracy? I’m talking massive expenditures just to secure the perimeter. then we need enough law enforcement types to deport 10 to 20 million people,  We need screeners everywhere to ensure sick illegal immigrants don’t get treated at hospitals or receive government services,  we need to change the constitution for our constitutional conservative, (I believe thats a 2/3rds vote which is never going to happen on this issue), and then we need to establish what I can only assume is a draconian immigration policy, because he complains about there being to many.  This would make the iraq war funding look like someone broke into a piggy bank.

6. privacy and personal liberty – self explanatory.  He wants utmost privacy, and no federal ID card.  He seems to want to abolish SSN as well, or at least curtail there usage.  My problem here is quite simply since the constitution does not gaurantee privacy, why is this one of his issues?

7.  Property rights and eminent domain –  This is one that everybody likes i’m sure, but think of what our highway system would be like if when interstates were being built in the 50’s, 60’s, and 70’s  eminent domain were not part of law?  Here is the fifth amendment…read the last line carefully

Main Index > Cases and Codes > U.S. Constitution > Fifth Amendment

U.S. Constitution: Fifth Amendment

Fifth Amendment – Rights of Persons

Amendment Text | Annotations  

No person shall be held to answer for a capital, or otherwise infamous crime, unless on a presentment or indictment of a Grand Jury, except in cases arising in the land or naval forces, or in the Militia, when in actual service in time of War or public danger; nor shall any person be subject for the same offence to be twice put in jeopardy of life or limb; nor shall be compelled in any criminal case to be a witness against himself, nor be deprived of life, liberty, or property, without due process of law; nor shall private property be taken for public use, without just compensation

I’m sorry…thats twice on his own campaign blog where the strongest voice for freedom and the only true constitutional government supporter bucks the constitution.  I didn’t write any of this stuff.  He did, or his staff did with his consent.  I’m not for the NAFTA superhighway, but understand that eminent domain and regulations to protect wetlands etc are crucial to the viability of our nation and our planet.

Ok, that’s all of it…now here is the link in case you think I’m lying.

http://www.ronpaul2008.com/issues/

now you know what Ron Paul is about on the issues he found to be important enough to post on his campaign webpage…go read it, and let me know how you feel about him.  I’ll even delete your comment without posting it if you ask.   My curiousity is killing me.

The Ron Paul Fascination

    Well, nothing like a long day of work and coming home to the blog to find more Ron Paul in the comments box.  I suppose if I didn’t want to read what his followers have to say I wouldn’t post about him.  What I do know is he a fascinating politician with a background that is almost impossible to track down.  You can find the easy stuff, anyone can.  The harder things like his writings while not in congress are harder to track.  It’s not just me saying it anymore either.

    I found the URL for this article waiting for me when I crawled into my online cave.  One of my readers thought I would enjoy it, and they totally underestimated the article.  I generally just skim these things, but this was more than political drivel.  It was a look at the man from outside the beltway.  It was a look at his followers, and at his nemesis’. 

   A lot of whats in here we already know.  Ron Paul wants you to be able to purchase a gun at 7/11, he doesn’t want you to be able to access abortions, and his stance on gay rights has never changed though he has softened his rhetoric.  It goes deeper though.  It explains how he won his elections to represent a small texas district against overwhelming conservative odds.  It explains why his constituents continue to vote for him, yet leaves out the things he’s tried to do for his district.  The author of this piece doesn’t seem like a fan, nor does he seem like an enemy.  What he appears to be is that most difficult to find human on the planet.  An unbiased journalist.

   What I really like is how sure Ron Paul is that he won’t win.  I had no idea that he originally intended only a four state campaign.  Lots of little tidbits like that.  Like I said, you’ve read a lot of hear, but this guy has grammar skills and punctuation and everything.

If you love Ron Paul….read this.  If you hate Ron Paul….read this.  If you are a fan of good journalism….read this.  none of you will change your mind, but you won’t leave this article disappointed.

time to schmooze the news (the blog effect)

  Well, it has finally come to pass that the largest special interest group in the country has a chance to take a stand against the federal government.  The Fiasco in Florida has again reared its ugly head in the news, and the polydactyl purrers at Hemingway House are again being threatened by that ever popular government Leviathan, the USDA.  Don’t these guys have beef to inspect? Why the hell are they messing with Snowball’s Descendants.  It’s time for the AARP…no, not that special interest group, dummie, the ICHC (i can haz cheeseburger) members to step up to the plate and let the government know where they stand.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20070718/od_nm/usa_hemingway_cats_dc_1;_ylt=AqeAoF10R8BllG6xhSIYQUoL1vAI

 I’ve talked about this whole deal before.  Why is it okay to steal someone else’s work and post it on the net?  Worse, why do mainstream media outlets feel its okay?  I haven’t peeked, because I already know I’m right, but it is reprehensible that what this lady has worked so long on has been stolen by a couple of jerk off bloggers and posted on the web. These two clowns are why the phrase Spare the rod and spoil the child used to hold sway  on parenting methods.  The reviewers should have been fired, not published.  By the way, Harry Potter does not get swallowed by a giant white whale while smuggling hashish out of turkey.

http://www.eonline.com/news/article/index.jsp?uuid=fa85329c-22d2-401d-8625-b526f2ead532&entry=index&sid=rss_topstories&utm_source=eonline&utm_medium=rssfeeds&utm_campaign=rss_topstories

who hasn’t felt like doing that.  I like to think of this story as the criminy effect.  If you’ve never thought of doing this I’ll send you a gift certificate to your favorite restaurant.  I will need affidavits from at least 231 close friends or reletives that can verify your claim.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20070717/od_nm/germany_computer1_dc_1;_ylt=AqpXqizjXLFVXEViUUghUPAL1vAI

so lets tax smokers only to pay for childrens health care.  Hey, great Idea, and then we’ll tax fags to pay for M-16s, and women to pay for hooker testing in Vegas, and blacks to pay for slavery reperations.  What a government we have…what annoys me about this one is many of you are saying “let’s do it, I don’t smoke”

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/19827784/

  File this one under the internet should not be regulated.  Of course sexual predators give that comment 100% support, but maybe parents won’t after reading this story.  Child exploitation is big business on the web, and actually going after the kids is getting even bigger.

http://www.cnn.com/2007/US/07/19/sexual.photos.ap/index.html

  I bet Fox News hated reporting this one, but the left has to be feeling pretty froggie.   It claims that Hillary and Barack beat every republican candidate.  Sorry pauliacs, if Ron can’t beat Hillary he should go back to texas.

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,289970,00.html

and thats the news from me.    Pakistan is doing what I said it would.  So is Iraq, so is pretty much everything else.  The news continues to be morbid on the domestic violence front.  I leave it alone because I like to joke, and there just isn’t anything funny about it.  We teach children to keep their hands to themselves, but apparently its a lesson to soon forgotten by adults.

Sometimes fair isn’t fair

  Fair.  My pops said fair is a place you go to ride a ferris wheel.  My pops can oversimplifiy anything, which certainly helped limit confusion as to where he stood.

   I’ve been embroiled in a discussion over the last couple of days about how numbers are the objective way to run a country.  Everything should be dictated to us based on math,  I think he’s an economist, and has spent to much time with his slide rule.  I’d tell you where it is so you could go read it, but to be honest I’ve sorta just been trying to drive him insane, and if it works I’ll clue y’all in.

   He keeps saying things like “what could be fairer than that?”  Well, sorry homie, but fair don’t get it done.  Fair is a myth.  There is nothing in life that is fair.  One of my favorite “fairness doctrines” of his is his tax idea.  No matter how much you make, you should pay the same 19% of your income.  This is fair.  Yes, to people making a reasonable amount of money, this is fair.  I think Ron Paul is a flat taxer as well.  Speaking of whom…if you go to vote smart .org you can read everything this sucker has said on the floor of the house since before 9/11. Aw hell, here’s the link.  It also has other public interviews and speeches, so you pauliacs can read something other than the schleppy speeches Lew Rockwell is spoon feeding you.

anyway.  Why flat tax isn’t fair.  Let’s start with an obvious model.  Bill Gates and say someone living on the minimum wage. 2080 times call it 7 bucks an hour = 14,560…less call it 20% =round it to $11,700.00.  Thats to live on…for a year.

Now I know you’re saying well, Bill Gates earned his money, and shouldn’t have to pay more.  But that’s not fair is it?  Bill Gates has a lot more access to services  than the person who is taking home 11K, now doesn’t he…therefore he should pay more. A lot more.  He also has a lot more access to all the places and things America has to offer.  The american dream just simply is not there for everybody.  You can in your elitist way say that it’s their own fault, but if you didn’t grow up in Cabrini Green you really don’t know whether one of its inhabitants is blameless or not.

Don’t get me wrong.  I don’t like what our government did by creating a dependancy on government handouts, but government did do it.  They have also run a lot of jobs out of America leaving even more Americans in the ever lengthening shadow of poverty.  It’s easy to sit in a position of advantage and look at those not in that position with a cynical eye.  That’s ok.  Look down on whoever you want.  but pay your FAIR share. 

  As far as the rich fleeing the country if you tax them fairly?  Let them…freeze their assets as they run.  The elite have fleeced America with the aid of their government cronies. I see no reason not to make them pay it back.  (I just want to see if that pisses off a guy I know) .

Authors note: these are not necessarily my views.  Fair just makes me a little irate, since in politics nobody seems to know what fair really is.  I do not live in Cabrini Green, do not take government handouts, and get paid a reasonably fair wage.  I should probably just be selfish, but can’t look at the weakest members of our society, and contemplate how to enrich myself off them.  It’s kind of sick that anyone can.  Interestingly enough, I still think Darwin had some good theories.

todays events

  These are not necessarily in any order.  Order is the ruination of mankind, and any little thing I can do in my own personal existence to advance the cause of chaos I do.  in other words I’m to lazy to put them in order.

1.  My daughter returned from her trip to the amusement park with her friends.  She brought me a gorilla.  it is 6″ high.  She said as she gave it to me.  Here’s your $100.00 gorilla.  Now I don’t owe you anything.  I call that daughter math.

2.  I have returned roscoes sheila to its rightful owner.  Mollie is upset from hell, but Roscoe seems to be taking it just fine.  Apparently he’s one of those “i got mine” fella’s.  Anyway, we’re going to get him a permanent mate this weekend since he didn’t eat this one.

3.  diet soda appears to be a stronger issue than i thought it would be.  At least to some people who obviously have dead taste buds, and a lack of full length mirrors.

4.  a buddy from work brought me a whole sack of homegrown tomatoes.  My yard does not face the right direction to plant them.  Is there anything better than a nice beefsteak tomato, thin sliced purple onion, and mayo sandwich on 12 grain bread?  Washed down with anything but a diet soda?

5.  It’s payday.  I only vote for Ron Paul on wednesday.  I like to imagine what my tax dollars are spent on.  This week I’m buying new knobs for the ladies senatorial washroom doors.  I hope them skanks wash their hands after.  The remainder of it Nancy Pelosi is going to siphon into a private slush fund and buy a half a bra with it.

6.  Khaled Abdul-Fattah Dawoud Mahmoud al-Mashhadani is really tom johnson, a truck driver from des moines.  he has no links to al qaeda but was arrested on July 4th .  It took two weeks for the Bush administration to beat him into agreeing to say he was khaled so that they can continue to link al qaeda to the war in Iraq. *my conspiracy theory for the day.

7.  I had to cut and paste that name…can you imagine having to spell that in kindergarten?  It’s no wonder these clowns grow up to be terrorists.  No, not Tom Johnson. you must be a pauliac.

8.   I filled the car with petrol.  I could’ve bought a hooker and a bag of weed.  Life blows.

9.  My boss was in a mood.  When I asked him what he would like me to accomplish today he said” go see how many more people you can piss off enough that they call me and complain about you.”  I got to 7 before he asked me nicely to cease and desist.

10.  on the way to work i saw one of those morris the cat looking cats that had been smooshed by a car…beside it was a sign that said I can beez cheeseburger.  (this was for the mullets that keep coming here from the i canhazcheeseburger schlepfest.  Never let it be said that I don’t try to please my readers.  

11.  Here are some things you should never do on a blog.  Talk politics. Talk religion. Talk diet soda. Talk cats. Talk animal sex.  Poke fun of stuff.

12.  If those are true this blog doesn’t exist, and you have been drinking way to much if you think you are reading this.

13.  My son has decided to joiin the Marines.  My first instinct having been one was to yell “I forbid it.”  “What came out of my mouth was “don’t sign anything unless I am there.”  Being a dad can suck sometimes.

14.  I finally asked you know who to marry me.

15.  Ok, that last one was hilarious.

the term is blithering idiots

  and i have spent my day inundated with them.  A veritable cornucopia of nitwits, knaves, and thieves is what I have spent my day with.

so I came here.  It should be so much better.

What did Uncle Sam do for you this week?  Well, for whatever reason he thinks he did $427.00 worth for me.  I’m trying to calculate what that is.  There wasn’t a quarter pound of decent bud in the mailbox from congress, and I know those burnouts get the good stuff.  George didn’t send me tickets to see cirque du soleil and a gift card for Ruth chris.  The roads suck, the schools suck, the health care sucks, and anything the government touches sucks so what the hell are they doing with my money?  I didn’t include the state, the medicare, the local, or any of the other gimmee your moneys, just the federal.  It’s hard not to want Ron Paul for president to be honest.  Just for the alleged tax decrease.

then I went to the bank.  What is in the mind of young women?  Do they really think flirting with someone old enough to be their dad is professional behaviour?  And why the hell do they try to count when they lack a talent for the art, and the damn number comes right up on their little cash register anyway?  Here’s a tip to CSR’s.  Be polite.  Do your job.  Shut the hell up.  I’m not interested in anything you have to say.  If I want conversation I’ll wander over to O’malley’s and buy a round.

   Bills bills  bills.  I really don’t mind this.  I do it every couple of months whether they send a reminder or not. I don’t have any truly extraneous ones, except of course  from rentasasquatch.com.  As sex toys go they aren’t bad, and they make a decent maid if you don’t want fine detail work accomplished. 

The dumb kid question of the day: Dad, can I have $200.00?  the dumb dad question of the day “for what?”   “I need some shoes”     “No”  The reason my question was dumb is because unless he found a way to stop world hunger with $200.00 he wasn’t getting it.  He has set a new standard in lazy this summer, and I’m a little worn with it.  Hookers and politicians show more ambition to work than this child that thinks he’s a man.  His excuse is a good one.  “I don’t want to work. I’m 17.  It’s my last summer off.”  I’d fall for it, but if i do he’ll end up saying “I’m 27, it’s my last summer off” someday.

    Roscoe pulled an okie doke on me.  I couldn’t find him when I got home.  My first thought was “oh no, my porn.”  Er, erotica.  Then I remembered its online, and i went phew.  Then I started looking.  I checked the places I hoped he’d be first.  He wasn’t on a plate on the table with greens, he wasn’t in the freezer, and he wasn’t in a pan on the stove.  Hopes dashed, I continued to seek the furbag for about 20 minutes.  When I left this morning I hung the towel on the hook on the bathroom door as always.  Gravity, as always dashed my wishes, and Roscoe decided under that towel was a great place for a nice quiet nap.  He has to nap during the day.  If he doesn’t he will fail to wake me up every hour on the hour just to see what’s up.  At least I hope thats why he slams his head into my resting place.  He could be testing the structural integrity.  One of these days it will collapse and i will become a love toy for a lagomorph.

The neighbor.  I despise him like I despise sweaty testicles, pauliacs, and chihuahua’s.  His ignorant bald  lazy ass has something to say everytime I drive up.  Today it was your dog was barking with a scowl on his face, and an insolent tone in his voice.  I finally decided to hell with it.  I walked around the fence and I proceeded to beat the holy living shit out of him.  Once I finally beat him onto the ground I commenced kicking him in every vital organ i could think of…ok, I didn’t, but while he yammered on about the trauma caused by my dogs five minutes of barking I did visualize that scenario.

I ended up just ignoring his dumb ass and walked into the house.  I haven’t mentioned work.  The reason for that is i might not maintain anything that resembles sanity if i write about it.

so how was your day?

What is a Pauliac? (quiz)

  Pauliac: paw-lee-ack  A zealous follower of Ron Paul, manifesting itself primarily on the internet, but can also be found scattered across the Northern Mexico Territory of Texas, and in small enclave’s scattered across North America.

How To Tell If You Are A Pauliac

Each yes answer is worth one point.  Scoring is at the bottom.

1.  Have you voted more than once in the same online poll?

2.  Does your reading comprehension decrease when you read something negative about Ron Paul?

3.  Have you caught yourself saying “but the other candidates are worse” in lieu of an actual point in an argument about Ron Paul?

4.  Do you own more than 7 handguns and belong to a militia?

5.  Do you think racism is blown out of proportion, and not really relevant in todays society?

6.  Have you ever drooled more than a quart while on one of your famous tirades about the magnificence of Ron Paul?

7.  Do you think libertarian means “the complete destruction of the federal government” in favor of a totalitarian regime led my the miniscule marvel?

8.  Have most of your friends stopped talking to you, and do your neighbors drive around the block rather than have to wave to your crazy ass?

9.  Do you believe taxes should be like the earth….flat?

10.  Have you ever when locked in your bathroom reading Ron Paul Today with your pants around your ankles thought, “man he is such a hunk?”

11.  in your Ron Paul loving lexicon, is liberal defined as “gay” and is conservative defined as “fascist?”

12.  Do you think criminyjicket is the wisest blogger on the face of the earth?

if you answered yes to 12 questions you are utterly confused, and not allowed to vote because you are currently incarcerated in a penal or mental institution.

if you answered yes to 11 questions you are not only a pauliac, but are also being sought by the law in at least four states, and by unwed mothers in at least three others.

if you answered yes to between 6-10 questions you are a garden variety Pauliac.  There is no hope for you.  You will spend the next 1.5 years walking in the shadow of his vainglorious personage, utterly convinced he has a chance.  You will spend the 4 years after that saying “things would have been different if Ron Paul hadn’t been ignored by the media.

if you answered yes to between 3 and-5 questions you are a pauliac, but you’ll get over it when you realize that he is just another politician.

if you answered yes to 2 questions, and neither of them was number 12, you are a liberal.  You just haven’t figured out yet that Ron Paul Hates You.

if you answered yes to only one question and it was not number 12, you are a centrist.  Once it all sorts itself out you will vote for the democratic candidate that wins the primary.

if you answered yes to only one question and it was number 12, you are either a blood relative, incredibly bright, or are sucking up to me in hopes of suckering me out of something later.