campaign 2008 begins today

September 4, 2007

   Who knew.  You mean all this politicking was the pre-race race?  Nice to know we’re finally going to get down to business.  So how did your favorite candidate spend the first day of the race?

    Hillary did what any smart politician would do.  She broke out the big gun.  She took Bill to Iowa with her, and if anyone out there doesn’t think Bill Clinton could beat every assclown currently in the race, your dull normal credentials must be outstanding.

   John Edwards received the endorsement of two labor unions…the united mine workers and the united steel workers.  I’m a member of the United Steel Workers, and will end my political contribution to the union tomorrow. I will do everything I can to ensure that as few USW employees vote for this braindead piece of human waste as possible.

Ron Paul capped his big 3rd place finish in his home state with an announcement that his fans ruled the meeting, that he raised $100,000, and that as always Ron Paul was the only popular person there.  Sometimes making the stroking gesture with your hand is enough, but at times like this you just need to say…what the hell ever.  You have to love the spin control that this no hoper campaign has going on.  It is rumored that at this time he is laying in a fetal position with his own fecal matter smeared all over his dessicated ancient carcass, sucking his thumb and moaning.

Duncan Hunter  won in Texas.  According to the Ron Paul crybabies he cheated by campaigning there, and actually beating his holiness Pope Ron Pius the I.  Naturally Duncan will use this as an excuse to remain in a race he clearly has no hope of finishing better than 23rd in.

    Barack Obama spent the day attacking Hillary for being experienced.  I suppose if your experience level is still in the Lego’s phase, thats what you do.  I’m not trying to make it racial or anything, but isn’t there a black democrat with a brain that he doesn’t take out and play with available?

I’m not sure what the rest of them did, but one can hope they hung out with their families and acted like normal people for the last time in what could be 9 years.

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