There ought to be clowns

January 21, 2008

       It’s really all my life needs to become a circus.  Well, that and large piles of elephant shit, a big tent, and several midgets on motorcycles.  No, not naked midgets.  That would make life an orgy, and who has the time.

      My sabbatical from this August establishment of alleged writers began with me starting a consulting business; which unlike most had a meteoric birth.   Being buried beneath that and my day job left little time, but I knew with the onslaught of winters misery time would again become available to come here and bore the piss out of people that by their mere presence at this page would appear to be suffering from a level of malaise they may never recover from.

    As luck would have it,  the onset of winter coincided with my sticking my hand where it didn’t belong, thereby crushing several bones and making my fingers look like a bloody bowl of ramen noodles.  I’m now back to nine fingers working as well as I can hope, and a frankenstein finger that will never again be what it once was.  I split that one in two, and owe a Nepalese hand specialist for it’s continued existence.  Too bad really.  It would of made a hell of a necklace.

      I really didn’t return becaust I wished to write anything of salient value, but rather to check in on the miniscule herd of people that read here regularly.   My curiosity is an overwhelming force sometimes, and the question of whether  Max is eating ketchup sandwiches on the picket line has finally overcome me.   Also whether Anita has tempted fate to often and been consumed by a creature from another plane of existence.  Or have the good folks over at ration reality been imprisoned,  waterboarded and shipped off to Poland for further questioning?  Enquiring minds wish to know, or at least my beaten nearly comatose by bad living brain does.

   The rest of my readers seem normal, and I expect they’re all doing well.  I’m not certain of it, but uberfrau, practical reasoning, udreamofJanie et al have probably survived my absence quite well, and are currently thriving in whichever nook they’ve habitated these last several months.

   As for me the menagerie drives me nuts.  The constant bickering between Mollie and General Tso for my attention has me nearly at wits end, and if Roscoe humps the toilet he’ll have made a clean sweep of my ever so humble abode.  add to my fourlegged friends two sons that have received their drivers licenses since last I wrote here, and a daughter that has been bequeathed with more brains than I but the same vicious conversation style and my life is just one big happy…uh….circus.


Ron Paul on Bill O’Reilly discussing the Middle East

September 11, 2007

It's really hard to add to this. Does it really sound like good policy? I'm inclined to agree with Bill here. That doesn't mean I'm against a redeployment of forces (preferably to Tehran), but getting out of the middle east would be suicidal. Ron does stick to his beliefs though. A reasonably sound piece of journalism here. No attacks particularly, and Ron was allowed to present his facts.

Sunday is for random thoughts

September 5, 2007

1.  anyone who thinks we’re not heading into an inflationary cycle hasn’t been grocery shopping lately.

2.  I only have one minor issue with Islamic Fundamentalists….they want me dead.

3.  Which is exactly the same problem I have with my Ex’s.

4.  The best way to ensure yourself a place in the kingdom of heaven is to kill your cat, and get a rabbit.

5.  Booze and drugs are just like people.  It takes years to build up a tolerance..

6.  the law and society are wrong.  Some people need their asses kicked.

7.  Don Quixote tilted at windmills…I talk to Pauliacs.

8.  a two day weekend isn’t long enough.  There is barely time to get drunk and recover from the hangover.

9.  On its two year anniversary, let me just say that Katrina is what happens to people who decide to live below sea level on the coast.  It is not the governments fault, nor my responsibility to rebuild this monument to the stupidity of some people.

10.   I would think Larry the Cable Guy were funnier if I hadn’t known so damn many of them in my life.

11.   fags and abortion, abortion and fags.  The morning news shows were back to normal. 

12.  At least twice a day I have the desire to choke someone until they turn blue, and those little bubbles start popping on their lips.  you know what I mean.  You don’t?  Then you are way to fucking tolerant.

13.  Approaching 3 moths blogging, and what I’ve learned is that the breakdown of totally incomprehensible fuckwits is about the same as in the population.  I think the difference is I don’t have to look at them while they try to sound out the words. None of them read me…more than once.

14.  I didn’t kill any millwrights today.  I wanted to, but I hate prison food.

15.  I can’t decide whether Bill Brady is dumber than Jack Reacher, but I’m working on it.

16.  I wonder if Mohammed ever fucked a sheep.

A note from Ron Paul August 22

August 22, 2007

Yep, he wrote us a note.  For or against, it is a damn fine read.  He talks about taxes, happy warriors, togetherness, and  monetary policy.  You can see why his followers are so taken by him.  He doesn’t really spell it out, so I thought I would.

Lets start with happy warriors.  Anyone who has ever written a post that contradicted Dr. Paul knows what a hoot this is.  He has some of the most rabid people on the planet supporting him.  they will attack your children, your dead parents, your dog…anything to get an edge.  Ron needs to write a negative blog about himself and see the responses he gets from the pauliac tribesmen.

   The tax thing.  He doesn’t want to replace the IRS with a new tax.  He claims our problem is inflation and an unsound monetary policy that keeps us on a rollercoaster of financial uncertainty.  Here’s what he leaves out.  He wants the states to tax the holy living hell out of us.  He doesn’t want a big federal government, he wants huge monolithic state governments, just like the constitution envisions.  You wouldn’t be taxed less under a Ron Paul regime, you would merely be taxed by someone else.

Freedom brings us all together.  Again, he would be right.  Except his position does not create freedom.  Freedom is not a derivative of the state.  It is, according to his theological ethos I would assume, god granted.  Yet he wants the state to control everything that the fed now controls.  Ron Paul doesn’t envision a nation where abortion isn’t legislated.  He pictures a country where abortion is controlled by the state.   I’m sorry.  His policies would not make me a freer person.  Heres an example of what I mean.  My dog loves going for walks with me.  It’s because she behaves for me and I don’t have to put her on a leash.  She hates going for walks with any of the kids.  In fact they don’t go for walks they go for drags.  She loves the kiddoes, but she hates the leash.  IT DOESN’T APPEAR TO MATTER TO HER WHO IS HOLDING IT.   Ron Paul doesn’t offer you a chance to lose the leash.  He offers you the opportunity to have someone else hold it.  That isn’t freedom.

Unconstitutional government has created…  the guy is always half right.  He doesn’t mention that unconstitutional government has also granted us stability that there is no way the 50 states legislating themselves ever will.  He merely wishes to change the problems we face.  50 powerful little pigs trying to get all the slop for themselves will create a nation that feeds on itself.  At least under the current method we are feeding on others. 

   I’m not trying to change any minds here.  I’m just pointing out the fact that while it sure looks rosie when he says it, the reality could well be an entirely different thing.

random thoughts # I forget

August 20, 2007

1.  It is easier to make a case for post birth abortion.

2.  I knew a kid that had sex with a pony when I was growing up.  He wasn’t real popular, but I’m not sure how the horses felt about him.

3.    When football season starts this blogging on sunday shit is over.

4.   I like greg the robber better than jerry the killer, but haven’t spoken to either in years.

5.    It only seems like I don’t care about anything.  It’s just that I care about so many things I can only care about each a little.

6.  Yeah, i like that one.

7.  I went to the love tag again.  When I need amusement I always end up there.  I have a tip for them.  If you REALLY love someone, you don’t stop.  It sucks, but there it is. 

8.  If you filled Yankee stadium, and then took an ax, a bat, a gun, a knife, a plastic baggie or a stale cheeto to each and every one of them rendering them into nothing more than organic matter; it would be equivalent to the number of people that will be murdered in America this year. (approx.)

9.  ex’s are like this really bad dream with creepy music and dour looking spinsters wearing long  sleeved dresses with cameo clasps occassionally stopping as they wander the incredibly white halls of the sanitarium to scream filth laced obscenities at invisible demons.

10.  Well, mine are.  Kind of.  they never shutup and they won’t go completely away, and its just creepy.  Ok, I’m done with that, but my head won’t stop moving side to side with my lips etching an overdone grimace across my visage.

11.  If your children tell you they hate you they mean it.  This is good.  You are doing your job, and with any luck they will keep hating you, and move away so you can move somewhere fun like Maui.

12.  Civility is not dead.  It is however undergoing defibrillation and has been treated for shock.

13.  Ron Paul is the new Charlie Waddell who once explained libertarianism as  “people who want government to ruin your life, but not theirs.”  May he rest in pieces.  Charlie had an unfortunate accident while working on a saw mill in South Dakota.

14.  For the first time in my life I can honestly say that I’m glad I’m not in Jamaica.

15.  Artificial life is likely just over the horizon.  I think if they have intellect they will find a way to kill us all…and I can’t say as I blame them.

16.  The fed has sent relief to Texas in hopes of getting a jump on Dean.  If it misses they’ll be blamed for wasting money.

thats it for this.  Have good weeks, be kind to your fellow homo sapiens, and if you can’t do that at least amuse yourself while tormenting them.


August 18, 2007

  I finished reading Deathly Hallows.  I know its heretical to complain about “the great she,” but am I the only one that thinks she was looking at her watch toward the end?  She seemed to tie up a lot of loose ends in a really quick hurry.  Might of had a date.  Book was ok.  Better than the others in the overall.

I have not finished painting the baghouse.  It’s large, and I’m small.  I’ll win, but its kicking the shit out of me doing so.  I’ve been working that grinder so much this week I’m stuck on vibrate mode.  Probably a good time to get laid.

Messing with the painter(s) being all the rage at work, i have declared myself an industrial coatings specialist.  It shall take several weeks for them to learn to pronounce each of those, and that will allow me to again take the upper hand in at work word wars.  friggin changos de turdbiters.

I’m doing a tune up on the kids car tomorrow, and changing his front brakes.  Working on cars makes me cuss, so if you need some new words, drop on by…the neighbors will go shopping about 10 minutes after i start.

Roscoe the wonder bunny is shedding his long fur.  He is doing this from front to back.  For a visual perspective, imagine going on a diet and losing weight top to bottom.  In a related story, he appears to dislike being laughed at.

Ever go through one of them stretches where you couldn’t get laid if you were an egg?  You haven’t?  Yeah….well….ummmm…me either

I’m a pretty good cook.  Tonight I made lasagna, and it was really quite good.  Easy to.  Peel back plastic.  Nuke for 6 minutes.  voila. 

I was a little alarmed when I turned on The Daily Show.  I don’t watch often, because he isn’t very funny.  WOW….John Stewart looks ollllld…45 must be the new 60.

It’s a little unfortunate that so many feel the sanctity of life is more important pre-birth than post.  I found this at Sobiop’s, and found it to be incredibly scathing.  I like the way this human convey’s a thought so I stuck em on my blogroll.

This one needs some raving lunatic spray.  His posts are always lucid and well written, but his commenters are not.  Which adds a little spice.  I added him to my blogroll out of sympathy.  I think his blog only gets a few million hits a day, so I thought i’d try to help him out.

  Now this one is a new blog.  I found him when he responded to one of my 7 minute thinker posts with a 4 page dissertation on chinese trade policy complete with links.  I thought the effort showed moxie, and while it’s still quite possible that he’s a bonafide Pauliac, he appears to be a high functioning pauliac and thats good by me.  His comments were incredibly well written and if he knows half as much about anything as he does about trade policy he should be read by all…good luck Barry.

   I’ve been reading this one for awhile, and his absence from the blogroll is an oversight.  Intelligent, aware, and occassionally witty life forms are rare, and he is one.  A blogger thant makes you think.  this is original.

Why I’m ok with Hate Speech

August 17, 2007

    I know, I know, now you don’t like me.  If you don’t, you’re not the sort of person I wish to know anyway, so, “darn it.”

     I am ok with it.  Hate speech I mean.  The first amendment grants the right, and I’m afraid that when we start limiting hate speech we set an awful precendent.  Also, hate crimes being punished more severely than other crimes is absolutely unamerican.

     Part of growing older is hopefully becoming wiser.  I haven’t hated anyone or anything in a long time, and I’ve had some run of the mill heinous shit happen to me in my lifetime.  Nothing others haven’t gone through and survived.  No being dipped into a vat of sulphuric acid by Columbian Drug lords high on crack and bored out of their skulls or anything.

     This absence of malice does not however keep me from picking on hillbillies, republicans, liberals, and almost every other socially defineable group at one time or another.  For delivery purposes sometimes it sounds absolutely hateful.  I could be punished I suppose, and if you happen to know a leggy blonde about so tall with legs up to here let her know I’ve been a bad boy if you would please.

   I’m rambling.  Surprised?  Not if you’ve been here before you aren’t.  What I’m working my way around to is hate speech is a good thing.  It’s honest, heartfelt, emotion, vociferously delivered in a manner that allows the rest of us to know just what a sorry assed human the speaker is.  

     An example of this would be poor old George.  The hate speech directed at him is as voluminous and colorful as that directed at any president since Truman.  It’s not only vitriolic, but as often as not totally untrue, but fortunately protected by the first Amendment.  Same goes for the trash falling out of Baracks mouth lately.  This is obviously a man in search of a crusade that can make him seem like the rest of the big kids.  All it’s shown is that he is bigoted against mass quantities of the human race, and probably is justified in his feelings.  To deny him the right to express it would be as wrong as shutting down Daily Kos or White Noise Insanity.  They have almost nothing of value to impart to the conversation, but at least they allow us to know who they are.

   Just so you don’t think I’m picking on liberals,  I read Ann Coulters column today, and while clever, informative, and well written as always, it was just more hate speech spewing from the mouth of an overpublicized pundit.  Same goes for the nonsense coming out of O’reilly, Hannity, and the list continues almost forever.

   The reason we need hate speech should be obvious.  Our nation would stop communicating altogether if we were not allowed charachter assassination and verbal evisceration.  Republicans bashing gays, and gays bashing neo-cons.  Liberals screaming vitriolic antiwar rhetoric into microphones and besmirching the military, and the military vilifying the lefties.  Capitol hill would be the quietest place on the planet.  Quieter than an integrated prison, which would be silent as a church mouse.

   You see, the truth is we’re not all that gifted individually.  Check out the blogworld.  How often do you find a post you are really consumed by?   Almost never.  Hateful is usually more interesting than the sycophantic bullshit, but both forms of insidous stupidity are easy to remove from your daily reading.  I for one wish to hell I had a blogroll for work.  Just put on the people worth listening to, and be able to not even notice the braindead trogs that are so common.  I don’t, so what I do is not converse with those I find repugnant, and that’s the option we all have.

What we do, is hate…either publically or in little private enclaves, we hate each other, and its a beautiful thing.  Because that notwithstanding, as a society we remain incredibly successful.  All the things that make human beings better than shit tossing monkeys (now the animal lovers hate me) continue to flourish in the midst of all this ire.  As we age, for the most part, the hate will go away for most of us.  What will be left is maybe a little guilt, and a lot of wisdom about how the rest of society thinks.  So if you have it to say, say it.  You can start with me.  I’d prefer you do it intelligently, but if all you can come up with is honkie, or cracker, or whitey, or whatever the hell…run with it.  i don’t mind at all.

Iowa Straw Poll: Winners and Losers

August 12, 2007

  Well, the numbers are in, and it was an underwhelming event for a lot of people.  I’m going to make everyone happy, and everyone mad with this one. 

winner: Mitt Romney.  He took over 31% of the vote in an 11 horse race. Obviously the front runner.

Loser:    Mitt Romney…right…Giuliani and McCain had withdrawn,  and Fred Thompson isn’t in yet.  He took 31% against a field thinner than last Years Preakness.

Winner:  Ron Paul took 9.1% of the vote.  This wasn’t a New Hampshire picnic poll.  This was the IOWA STRAW POLL. This is a campaign that is probably running somewhere between stoked And euphoric right now.  His wife is going to be ok, so Dr. Ron ad a real good day.  Congrats Pauliacs.

Loser: Ron Paul.  Holy cripes, what are you thinking.  He finished behind “I’m one nut shy of being a fruitcake Tom Tancredo,” two jokers bucking for televangelist status,  and Mormon Mitt, “friend to big business, politics as usual, but I look great in this suit” Mitt.  This isn’t half as impressive as a three legged cow that can jump rope.This was about as damning a shot across the bow of the Ron Paul no organizational skills whatever campaign juggernaut.  To many buffoons talking about stealing bus rides, and diebold voting machines, and not staying on message.

Winner:  Mike Huckabee pulled over 18 percent with a serious conservative christian platform.  He can obviously inspire the base, and he beat Brownback.  This was a two horse race for Mike, and he beat the horse he had to beat.  He’ll be around for awhile.

Loser:  Mike Huckabee.  He can convince the base, but the far right base is smaller than squirrel testicles.  This guy couldn’t beat larry Flynt in a race for the white House.

Winner: Sam Brownback  His wife loves him, jesus loves him, and he probably has a dog that loves him.

Loser: Sam brownback.  This is horror story stuff.  Turn out the lights when you follow the rest of ’em out the door.

Winner: Tom Tancredo 4th…you’re kidding right.  Great job getting out the vote Tom.

Loser:  Tom Tancredo took 13.1% of the vote.  There are a lot of whacko’s in Iowa.    The guy belongs in a straitjacket and should seriously consider some electroshock therapy.  13.1?  thats just incredible.  Are there really that many deaf, mute blind people in Iowa?  Who knew.

The Field:  By guys…go home, have sex, get fat and contemplate how it feels to be beaten in the most mediocre field of candidates the Republican Party has ever fielded.

Republican party:  Wow, did you get a poor turnout.  you wanted 38,000, claim 30,000, and had about 14,000 vote.  Niiiiiiiiice.  Would you like to concede now or should we have the Democratic candidates tie their frontal lobes behind their backs for the rest of this  trouncing?

Sunday is for random thoughts #10

August 11, 2007

1. Someone once said that integrity is what you do when no one else is looking.  What in the hell does masturbating have to do with integrity?

2.  I am not anti-religion.  I am anti-stupid.  It is unfortunate, but not of my doing,  that the two look so much alike.

3.  If neither a borrower nor a lender be had been adhered to, we wouldn’t be facing a recession, and so many of you wouldn’t be losing your homes.  Pardon me while I chuckle.

4.  Based on news reports the thing average Americans do best is kill other average Americans.

5.  I love good poetry.  I think most poets should be beaten viciously and regularly to dissuade them from the art.

6.  Rudyard Kipling did more to bring about the end of the British Empire than anyone save Mahatma Gandhi.

7.  The far right advocates a social structure that almost exactly mirrors that envisioned by the Koran.

8.  The far left advocates a social structure that almost exactly mirrors Fast Times At Ridgemont High.

9.  The centrist advocate a social structure that …well, I don’t know.  they’re too chickenshit to forward an agenda.

10.  I advocate disorderly conduct in almost all social situations.  I’m also good with temperate use of almost all drugs and alcohol.  Reality should be rationed(smirk) and overuse should be severely punished.

11.  I used to believe that most people were just stupid, and that it was ok, as long as I didn’t have to listen to them.  All blogging has accomplished is to provide empirical evidence supporting my assertions.

12.   no chain is so easy to jerk as that of a zealot.

13.    I gave up booze, drugs, and a life of crime for my children.  You’d think they could moderate their taste in shoes.

14.  Not only is Barack black enough, he is ignorant enough, duplicitous enough, and egotistical enough to become George Bush….er…president.

15.   Without a ballot being cast the Ron Paul faithful cried foul in court.  I hope he does really well, and they feel really stupid.

on honesty

August 10, 2007

The woody muncher that screamed at me at work the other day apologized today.  It was heartfelt, sincere and full of smiles and joviality.

I graciously accepted his apology, and told him to forget it. “You were trying to kiss one of your superiors asses, and expected me to bow down and kiss yours.  No big deal”