time to schmooze the news (the blog effect)

July 20, 2007

  Well, it has finally come to pass that the largest special interest group in the country has a chance to take a stand against the federal government.  The Fiasco in Florida has again reared its ugly head in the news, and the polydactyl purrers at Hemingway House are again being threatened by that ever popular government Leviathan, the USDA.  Don’t these guys have beef to inspect? Why the hell are they messing with Snowball’s Descendants.  It’s time for the AARP…no, not that special interest group, dummie, the ICHC (i can haz cheeseburger) members to step up to the plate and let the government know where they stand.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20070718/od_nm/usa_hemingway_cats_dc_1;_ylt=AqeAoF10R8BllG6xhSIYQUoL1vAI

 I’ve talked about this whole deal before.  Why is it okay to steal someone else’s work and post it on the net?  Worse, why do mainstream media outlets feel its okay?  I haven’t peeked, because I already know I’m right, but it is reprehensible that what this lady has worked so long on has been stolen by a couple of jerk off bloggers and posted on the web. These two clowns are why the phrase Spare the rod and spoil the child used to hold sway  on parenting methods.  The reviewers should have been fired, not published.  By the way, Harry Potter does not get swallowed by a giant white whale while smuggling hashish out of turkey.

http://www.eonline.com/news/article/index.jsp?uuid=fa85329c-22d2-401d-8625-b526f2ead532&entry=index&sid=rss_topstories&utm_source=eonline&utm_medium=rssfeeds&utm_campaign=rss_topstories

who hasn’t felt like doing that.  I like to think of this story as the criminy effect.  If you’ve never thought of doing this I’ll send you a gift certificate to your favorite restaurant.  I will need affidavits from at least 231 close friends or reletives that can verify your claim.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20070717/od_nm/germany_computer1_dc_1;_ylt=AqpXqizjXLFVXEViUUghUPAL1vAI

so lets tax smokers only to pay for childrens health care.  Hey, great Idea, and then we’ll tax fags to pay for M-16s, and women to pay for hooker testing in Vegas, and blacks to pay for slavery reperations.  What a government we have…what annoys me about this one is many of you are saying “let’s do it, I don’t smoke”

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/19827784/

  File this one under the internet should not be regulated.  Of course sexual predators give that comment 100% support, but maybe parents won’t after reading this story.  Child exploitation is big business on the web, and actually going after the kids is getting even bigger.

http://www.cnn.com/2007/US/07/19/sexual.photos.ap/index.html

  I bet Fox News hated reporting this one, but the left has to be feeling pretty froggie.   It claims that Hillary and Barack beat every republican candidate.  Sorry pauliacs, if Ron can’t beat Hillary he should go back to texas.

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,289970,00.html

and thats the news from me.    Pakistan is doing what I said it would.  So is Iraq, so is pretty much everything else.  The news continues to be morbid on the domestic violence front.  I leave it alone because I like to joke, and there just isn’t anything funny about it.  We teach children to keep their hands to themselves, but apparently its a lesson to soon forgotten by adults.

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Not really news, but fun anyway

July 10, 2007

here are some stories that probably affect you not in the least.  That’s what’s known as good news, even if it’s not so good news for those it happened to.

http://www.mail.com/newsarticle.aspx?catId=1&articleId=1131088

i like this one for its irony.  Some would say that Mexico is America’s sinkhole.

http://www.mail.com/newsarticle.aspx?catId=3&articleId=1131217

aww those frisky Canadians.  Canada’s imperialistic intentions raise there ugly head in this delightful article about the arctic, and a rock.  The Danes and whatever you call greenland people do not think it’s funny, and the U.S. isn’t all for it either.  A private message to the canadian President.  Don’t get pimp slapped.  We’re almost odne in our other two wars, and I’ve long advocated an attack on you.  My reasoning?  You’re closest.

http://www.mail.com/NewsArticle.aspx?catId=2&articleId=1131128&newssiteid=1

astronaut chat looks familiar.  I don’t know about you, but when I wish to talk to someone I just walk up and pepper spray them.  Carrying a hammer is also useful, and nothing quite like a ginsu for a conversation starter.

http://www.mail.com/NewsArticle.aspx?catId=2&articleId=1130720&newssiteid=1

you don’t have a snowballs chance in Buenos Aires.  What a day this must of been for the kids. anyone under 94 hasn’t seen this there.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20070709/od_nm/pamplona_women1_dc_1;_ylt=AuVfgWUzDajUY0a2nMjiiYUL1vAI

equal rights in Pamplona.  In america, Running with the cows is known as “buffet style dining”

http://www.mail.com/NewsArticle.aspx?catId=3&articleId=1131177&newssiteid=1

how nice…prosecutors can be so understanding.  22 years in prison, DNA clears him, and the prosecutor in a generous move decides not to retry the guy.  I hope he ends up owning New Jersey

http://www.cnn.com/2007/US/07/09/hemingway.cats.ap/index.html

I can haz 6 toes?  The folks at icanhazcheeseburger may have been scooped here… Ernest Hemingways house gets to keep its cats…USDA defeated.  This may well be the only cat story I ever reference.  (CNN hard at it again)

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,288724,00.html

cure smoking , and drinking, and gambling…the addiction pill.  varenicline has proven effective against smoking, and now maybe drinking.  I wonder if it cures being addicted to bad relationships…that sucker would really sell..its from pfizer, I saw no mention of crapping your pants.   (foxnews)

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/19650857/site/newsweek/

this isn’t news.  this has been going on for a long time, from mcdonalds glasses with lead in the paint to color crayons, the chinese have never been real concerned about consumer safety.  This isn’t fun news, this is I told you so.  (msnbc)