Keeping score

September 6, 2007

   Carla wasn’t sure how long she’d known, but sitting across from Dale she was aware that she did.  Something about being in the room alone with him, or maybe it was the intensity in his eyes.   The news was playing in the background, and Jerry had taken the plates into the kitchen to wash.  She was alone.  With him, and she knew what he had done.

“13,” he said.

“what?”

“13.”

“I don’t understand.”  

“That’s how many.  People we’ve killed…I mean.”  He said the last part lamely, almost as if he was ashamed.

Her mind raced back over the stories she’d seen in the paper, and heard about on TV.   the bodies found all over the state.  The cold recitations of the condition of the victims, spoken or written about by people who didn’t know them, and were to jaded to even realize the damage their words must have done to the loved ones of the victims.  the cheerleader outside of Charlotte, hanging upside down between two trees under a banner that said “Rah-Rah.”

There was the preacher in Bern, hanging from the pulpit by a brass cross that had been hammered through his throat, and the farmer near Jacksonville found face up in the feeding trough, his mouth gagged, and hands bound to the fence rail decrying the fact that he’d been alive when he was put there.

    The horror etched across her face becoming more apparent as the list ran through her mind, and then her face crumbling in the horror of that one word.

“we’ve.”  He had said we’ve.

“Jerry.” she mumbled, already knowing the answer.

“of course Jerry.”

“But why,” she said.  She didn’t really want to know, but couldn’t think of a way not to ask.  How do you not ask?

“Everybody needs a hobby. ”  His voice was devoid of emotion, and she looked up to see him staring intently at her.

Pointing toward the kitchen, Dale smiled and said almost cheerfully “14. ”  Then, With the slightest hint of regret he pointed at her, and said

“15”

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Did not

July 26, 2007

   That’s my favorite comeback of the day.  A man in his thirties used that to rebut an argument.  I was impressed.  The reason there was no 6 a. m. hateful this morning was because I wasn’t up at 6 a.m.  I wasn’t even up at 6:30.  The power got knocked out, which killed my alarm colck.  It has this little compartment in the bottom where I could put a battery if I were so inclined.  My lack of interest in being the “always prepared boy scout” type stems from my desire to never be to dependable.  Dependability is a flaw most often taken advantage of by those who have no right to do so.

   So for the first time in about a week I was late for work.  I wouldn’t have been.  I was out the door at the usual time, but alas, my karma was shit city this morning, and I made the wrong choice as to the route I should take.  I chose the possible to achieve mach speed freeway route.  7 other people also chose this route, and I’m sure because it was raining and foggy failed to maintain there forward progression.  This failure was achieved according to the bass brain on the radio by slamming into each other, and thereby shutting down all of the westbound lanes of I-70.

   Even this would not have created my unbearable lateness of being.  What stumped me was the asswit in the green G35 that thought it would be cool to also block the shoulder so those behind him could not exit the freeway.  After waiting for 8 minutes for him to change his mind I walked up to his car and tapping gently on the window with a pipe wrench requested in a civil yet incredibly creative profane way that he either remove his vehicle or I would commence performing structural modification to the vehicle.

   I thought for a moment he was going to get out and slap me across the face with his doeskin driving gloves and challenge me to a duel, but somewhere deep in the recesses of his occipital lobe I assume it occurred to him that pansy gloves are no match for an irate pipe wrench, and he proceeded to move his piece of shit infiniti before I turned it into a yugo.  Judging by the horns honking around me I could quite easily have been elected mayor of this shitpit had the vote been taken at 7:02 this morning.   As I maneuvered past the posterchild for roadrage insensitivity he flipped me off. I waved and smiled.  I’m not an unnice person after all.

   Ever notice that when you’re late every redlight in the world is just waiting for your arrival?  I got stopped by a redlight at an intersection where the last car to use the crossing street was probably called “horse.” I got skipped at the redlight to get back on the freeway,meaning I had to sit through it twice, and then got nailed by one at the airport that was being manually controlled by the oldest living member of the human race in a policemans uniform.  I thought about going after him with my pipe wrench, but my father taught me at a very young age that a club is useless in a gunfight.   He was old, but he was packing, so I just sat there and ineffectually wore out my entire litany of cusswords, including the appendix labelled  “I stole this phrase from…” while I waited for the old bastards prune juice to kick in and give him the rush that was needed for him to raise his right hand 8″ and hit the switch that again allowed me to continue on my merry way.

   I intentionally left out the part where I called my boss and informed him I would be late as I was enjoying a liesurely sabbatical at the I-70 parking lot.   I was regaled with peals of laughter as I explained the pridicament, and it was a little ignominious.  His parting words were to the affect of “don’t worry about it.  You don’t obey any of the other rules no reason you should obey this one.”  It’s nice to be appreciated.  I sincerely believe that your job is only as safe as your relationship with your immediate supervisor.  This means I will never be fired.  I add joy to his life.  I’m quite sure tormenting me ranks right behind beer, and sex with whatever species is handy, in his hierarchy of needs.

   Anyway, I arrived at work 3 minutes late, 7 if you include my “nature calls” moment.  Well, not really calls.  My colon doesn’t call.  It demands.  When I walked into the office my boss looked up and stated with a big old smile “lets see now, late, unshaven, sleeves rolled up, shirt untucked.  Hell I could ring up enough points to fire you before break.”  I replied  “you could fire me for 3 uniform violations and an I don’t give a fuck, but what I need is a 3500 psi powerwasher, and the most powerful HVLP pump money can buy.”   Bosses are like women.  When you hit the top of the shit list send them shopping.  He was in a good mood all day.  Spent almost 8k, and had a target for his mirthful musings.


this week for me.

July 20, 2007

  What an interesting week its been. I’ve changed cars almost as often as socks, I’ve lowered myself to the level of a nitwit economist, I continue to distill a high level of either antipathy or apathy amongst my readers, and I’ve been called names again.  Hell, I even called a couple.  Work has been somewhat of a hoot, and the kids are grounded for intransigence above and beyond the call of duty.

   The much ballyhooed return of MDVP.  Not a moment to soon either.  I was annoying the hell out of some people while I awaited the return of the ultimate compassionate conservative.

Antisocialist has been added to the blogroll.  Another of those I don’t always agree with, but if I agree with anyone some of the time I find that to be an amazing achievement.  He does an incredible job of sourcing his articles, and has some excellent posts on his blog.

  I’ve also added a screed apart.  He writes some intriguing stuff about the shape our society is in.  He even uses charts and pictures so I don’t have to work to hard for it.

anita of whacked out, tormented stories without endings fame has a journal as well.  She intentionally hid this from me so that her friends wouldn’t know she reads my blog. she is a smart person.

   Other than that I’ve found the usual intolerant nonsense for the most part.  I think I’ll do a blog soon giving links to places that will make you piss your pants laughing.  Amazingly they aren’t all pauliac blogs.  I met an economist who flat rails against the use of knowledge, instead offering numbers as a reasonable option.  The problem is all his math is flawed. I actually like people like this.  You can go to there blogs, say anything you wish, and have a good argument.  You can even change your point several times (i know because I did this with the economist) and they won’t even notice.  They are so busy trying to convert you they have no clue what you are saying.  Blogging is a gas.  Of course reading these blogs is like watching two monkeys bang a football.  It’s all wasted effort.

The rum is chilling, the lime is sliced, the coke is new and therefore fizzy, and it is almost time for cuba libres’…

and the Harry potter book is 7 hours away


The Hiatus has ended

July 20, 2007

    Hiatus is defined as ” boozing it up, and consorting with loose women” in the criminy dictionary.  I am happy to report that MDVP over at forestopine has returned from his wining and wenching, and has produced a genuine work of art for his first post back.  If you haven’t had the opportunity to enjoy his style and wit you should really have a go of it.  You Ron Paul fans will be delighted to know that he has even showed some interest in your nitwit of choice.  I can’t always agree with the man, but I sure do like his writing.


watch me pull a barrel of oil out of this hat

July 14, 2007

  George you retard.  what are you thinking.  This camelbanger Maliki says we can leave whenever we want.  Pay attention here big fella. WE WANT.  They’re ready for doom.  They know that no matter how long we stay they are doomed to die horrible deaths on the shifting sands of the Muddle East (not a typo).  We can’t win this, they can’t survive this, so let’s quit putting off the inevitable.  I know it bites to be wrong.  I hate it to.  Yet when you have the temerity to think you can pull down the only powerful secular leader in a region full of oil and extremism, you kind of have to expect to fail.  Going in was a mistake.  Staying in once the leader they chose says you may go is, dare I say it? Anti-American.

     Ron Paul declares that the U.S. will not declare war on Iran, but will rather trick them into a confrontation.  I like Ron’s position on many things, but realize that he is a waste of time.  He has the ability to ensure a democrat wins the presidency, but his myopic libertarian stance is sure to make him unelectable.  I read an interesting peice on libertarians that all political junkies should read.  Duck, here comes the LINK.  Do not judge a book by its cover.  This post is well written, factual, and the title and name of the blog just add a little humor.

wag the dog.  Here is a tip for some of you that just like international intrigue.  It’s not real factual stuff.  I’ve been reading it for awhile.  It’s amazing how the internet can have an impact on what is at best a minor issue.  type Iranian oil bourse in your browser, and enjoy the tale.

the blog is doing well.  I likely post to often, but it’s mine, I’ll play with it if i want.  I first used that argument when i was 13 and was in the bathroom and…nevermind.  I found a new site I like. the pic caught my eye, and then what the blogger was doing piqued my interest.  It’s well done, and fun so what the hell.  Go look at the pic if you do nothing else.

 Since I haven’t dug up many new decent blogs let me pitch a couple things i’ve found on some old ones.

  Anita is at it again with her unfinished stories.  what a concept.  Let the reader torture themselves about how it ends.  I really liked this one.

MDVP is on hiatus over at forest opine while he works on his islamo-magnum-opus.  A fun thing to do while he is away is to read his hiatus post backwards.  It will make Al Gore appear in hologram in your bathroom.

  If you ever wander past celluloid blonde, and you scroll like 86 feet down to the bottom, there is a little tab marked Random Blonde.  You won’t like everything you find there, and some of you may not like it at all.  I personally highly recommend it for its variety, brevity, and creativity.  the pictures are great, the storytelling emotional, and the blurbs sometimes outrageous.  Take the post apocalyptic you quiz while you’re there.

  Roscoe the wonder bunny has a new collar and leash.  i have belled the bunny.  It’s my version of the sexual predator registry.  now when he wants a little ankle time I’ll here him coming.

That takes care of this week in my world.  Oh yeah, 6 a.m. hateful has been well received.  I’m not doing it on the weekends because who wants to hear that crap on their days off.


I killed A millwright today

July 11, 2007

  I wasn’t going to do it, but the opportunity presented itself.  He was standing on the catwalk over kettle 8, talking to me over his shoulder.

he is a whiner, and a snitch, and a wiseass, and it suddenly occurred to me that one little shove….

he barely squeaked as he hit 8000 gallons of molten lead and disappeared.

I would have stayed and admired my handywork, but it was lunchtime, and I had lasagna.

The afternoon was beautiful.  Sun shining, a light breeze, and no whining.


I don’t know what to call it, but it ends abruptly

July 7, 2007

    I like the stupid internet.  It makes things easier, and when you don’t have an overabundance of time easier is better.  If you don’t believe me move to an area that has 4 seasons, and see how much harder winter is than the rest.  Even mundane tasks like starting the car can become insurmountable obstacles.  It’s also, as entertainment values go, at least as good a deal as a hooker down on washington and oriental.  Not the high dollar ones maybe, but the meth-fest types the truck drivers like.

   There are of course several things I don’t do.  I can no longer include pics because i did a pic.  i think its the last, unless i can catch roscoe in full roar having his way with a rump roast or something.  That might get posted.  I don’t youtube.  Not for any specific reason, other than it gives me great pleasure to avoid socially iconic fads.  The youtube of today will be something else tomorrow because technowonks need it better.  I’m waiting for the ultimate site.  I don’t know what it’ll be called, but omnipotenttube is just dumb so i hope they avoid it.

    I do seek to broaden my horizons.  I remember seeing Romeo and Juliet when I was young, and thinking geez, with a little sex they could make a movie out of this.  Wrong take on Shakespeare maybe, so I took a look.  Anything he ever wrote can be read online for zero dinero.  What a treat that is.  I read I think three things “a midsummer nights dream, Hamlet, and Othello.  I also read about a dozen sonnets.  I learned that I was wrong.  Sex could in no way fix the works of this master playwright, poet, and author.  Drawing and quartering at a very young age would have saved me a couple of hours worth of wherefores and harks and such.  I despise his work.  Not with any passion.  With the same disdain that I would apply toward catshit I stepped in.  I know, y’all love him.  thats whats great about the net.  You can find it if you like it, and if you don’t know  whether you do or not you can check it out for zip, bubkus, nada.

   I also like to check out all of the new techno gadgets I will never want, need or own.  they’re cool to look at, and you can keep yourself up nights with your head covered up when you think of all the horrible shit these people could be doing with the abilities they have at their disposal.

   and look at all the people.  I meet people here i would never meet in my daily life.  I work at a place yanked out of cannery row, and the people on my block are a mixture of one flew over the cuckoo’s nest, and get shorty; with a distinct Deliverance flavor thrown in.  It has long been my opinion that its better to be hated by people you don’t know and this is a greeat place for that too.  I occassionally read about me, laugh like hell, and return to my regularly scheduled programming.

Which isn’t ALWAYS porn.  108,000,000 sites for it listed on google, and while many of those are probably like my search engine results, you would still be long dead before you could ever click on all of them.  Don’t get me wrong.  I’m a big fan of the female form.  But you can also type in erotica, and get 28,000,000 options.  They would be tossing dirt on my dessicated husk long before I ever got to 10,000,000.  in other words…its here…whatever you like…in massive quantities.

did i mention the people? holy cow.  I shant (stolen from shakespeare, the worthless fuck) even mention the ones I think should be drowned in the shallow end of the gene pool from whence( yeah, got him again) they came.  They all know who they are, and you don’t want to know them anyway.  Besides, you might like some of them and then you might be offended enough to cyberwhip my ass (another distinct benefit right there).  There are quite a few good ones.  Funny ones, creative ones, wierd ones, serious ones…anything you like its here.

    this is boring the shit out of me, but I’m gonna post it anyway.  Gonna stop right here in the middle.  Know why? Its the net.  So I can, and you can’t stop me.  You also can’t get me to youtube, myspace or buy an apple.  Autonomy rocks.