cynicism is the mixture of intellect and experience. i am a cynic. Not a particularly intelligent one, but one that knows squarely where he fits in the greater scheme of things. I’m a single father of three, and write mainly because I can. I can also pick my nose with my feet, but that particular hobby has hygiene issues. I like politics, and reading, pets and my kids. Everything else is liked or disliked on a case by case basis. Happiness beats misery, and it pays the same, so laugh it off.
since I never do posts involving the word random except on sunday, thursday is now sunday. I have spoken, so let it be done.
1.I am left handed, but incredibly I am not left footed.
2. I grew up in a junkyard.
3. I am younger than methuselah, but older than Linsey Lohan.
4. I am virtually impossible to startle, this being true, people are constantly trying to scare the shit out of me.
5. i refuse to beat my kids. I think wrestling is just as efficient, as is throwing hard heavy objects at them
6. I have 3 of them. I did not name them Larry, Curly and Moe. It just seemed wrong to name them after the seven dwarf’s.
7. I like to fly, but landing is an experience I would prefer to leave to people afraid of parachutes.
8. I have never eaten wallaby testicles. (adds this to things possible for a middle aged male to accomplish prior to death)
9. Love dogs, think cats sail nice when you kick them.
10. If given the choice between picking on liberals or having sex with someone the liberals should commence being pissy.
11. I am only omnivorous because if I don’t eat any vegerables my defecation looks like I’ve overdosed on Alli.
12. I have never been in a car accident that was my fault. Its hard to pin the blame on someone that was asleep.
13. I’m the third of 7 children. I talk to them during weddings funerals and holidays.
14. If you think everything tastes like chicken you should try cunnilingus.
15. I’ve had my nose broken 7 times. This may haver something to do with having a big mouth and the common sense of a blue bottle housefly.
16. I have a casual at best relationship with sentence structure, grammar, and punctuation. Other than that I don’t write worth a shit.
17. I have never paid more than $300.00 for a bowl of soup. (don’t ask)
18. the longest relationship with a woman I have ever been in was 11 years. The last 5 of which the word Bitch appeared over her head in neon everytime I looked at her.
19. I have a pair of shoes that I have had a relationship with longer than that.
20. I am incredibly easy to amuse.
21. I have never been pissed off at someone online. Just can’t work up the emotion to be mad at someone who I have never met, and whose opinion means nothing to me. THIS IS NOT A CHALLENGE. CHRIST YOU PEOPLE ARE COMPETITIVE.
22. My I don’t give a fuck glands are huge.
23. Jeans and a T-shirt, unless coerced.
25. No matter how often I claim otherwise I have never had sex with another species. i know. i’m boring. Tough shit.
26. I piss people off. A lot. I’m good with it.
as far as what this blog is about? whatever interests me then. If its fun I’ll point you toward it. The world needs more fun. If its stupid, I’ll make fun of it, and if its creative I’ll rave about it. There will be a lot of things that will not intereest you. With any luck I will still make you chuckle, or some variation thereof. Time to time I’ll dribble fiction, occassionally I’ll take non=fiction issues seriously. Mostly, I’ll just do what I do. which is ramble.