Ain’t We Got Fun?

My, my, my.  Isn’t this just a pickle? I like being right, but there is a limit.I’m here to tell you, I’ve never had this much fun, and I’ve been to two world fairs and a goat fucking.  Politics, finance, world order itself hang in the balance, and it gets no better than that.

In just the last month as I reckon it the federal government has injected or is on the verge of injecting over TWO Trillion (that’s trillion with a T) bucks into the financial market.  What comes after trillion? it’s million,billion, trillion….but what comes next?  Whatever it is, we’ve sunk a quarter of one of them into this mess.  In fact, I’m not even counting the fannie and freddie buyout, so probably more like 3 trillion.

Yet, amazingly, no one is to blame.   I keep stopping as I write this.  Laughter overcomes me.  A complete and utter dearth of leadership has created the situation, and suddenly we find that the two candidates aren’t really capable of leading either.  Given an incredibly devastating economic crisis just 2 months prior to the election, and McCain panics whilst Obama cowers.  The cowering isn’t exactly a surprise.  It conforms to both the voting record, and the lack of forthrightness on the part of Barack.  The panic was a little surprising.  I take it that’s what a bonafide hero does when faced with a situation beyond his understanding.  Lacking the tools to capture the essence of the crisis it is better to do be doing something useless than nothing at all.  I remember the mindset clearly from my time in the military.  I believe they teach it at The Basic Officers Course.

So what we have is a candidate willing to trounce longtime friendships as if they mean nothing, and a candidate incapable of dealing with those issues not related to beans, bullets, and bandages.  Let’s look back:

We could’ve had Hillary.  Mitt.  Guiliani.  A host of others.  All uniquely unqualifed, but gifted with the egocentricity needed to believe one capable of performing that job.   Bill probably would be nice to have around right now.  Would be nice if he hadn’t used up his term limits before he achieved wisdom.  Oh well.  What we have are these two knuckleheads.  Both of whom, coincidently, have less executive experience, and less personal appeal than the vice presidential candidate.  The hockey mom.  Not the inveterate liar and longtime defender of current social policy that has us where we are today.  Of course, I’m partial to a well turned calve.  Beats worn out political bullshit everytime.

Anyway.  I just came by to chuckle.  Spending what you don’t have got us here.  Blame whoever you want, but that’s what did it.  Your friends, neighbors, coworkers…maybe you, maybe a little me.  that’s who got us here.  Bad spending, atrocious voting.  Accepting that in a free and democratic society the government should be bailing out private enterprise.  We suck folks, and we just keep sucking.  Come the first Tuesday in November we’re going to suck again.  We chose these two to lead us to the promised land?  We’re we drinking?  Hopped up on speedballs and Latte’?  Whatever the case.  This is frigging hilarious.

awkward conciliatory and encouraging afterward:

If your job is sound, and you aren’t in hock up to your genitalia; if you spend little and conserve copiously you should come through this mess ok.  If not, well, tough shit.  You were warned.

Hey Barack….Can You Spare Some Change?

    So how about that change candidate?   I’m wondering what, other than skin color, the change isalleged to be.   So far, other than his incessant whining now that the press is treating him like everyone else he seems like every other semi-crooked politician to me.   Let’s, just off the top of our heads, look at the record.

   So far he has never won an election for federal office that didn’t include getting reporters to dig through the divorce proceedings of his opponents trying to find some dirt that will stick.  This includes the primary, and one election for federal office.   Slinging dirt doesn’t really allow one to call himself the candidate of change.

   He purchsed a home in which he realized “several hundred dollars worth of savings” in conjunction with a lot purchased by your typical everyday chicago style graft and corruption specialist.  Here again the table was set long ago by those before him and he is merely eating the vittles.

    I suppose when a couple of your top staffers come out and tell people you lied about NAFTA, and getting out of Iraq, and another admits you are not ready to be commander in chief in an interview that could be called change.  Honesty is rare in campaigns, and thiese were the first honest things to come out of his campaign.  Unfortunately, he said the NAFTA conversation didn’t happen when it actually did.  His Iraq stance is also disingenuous on its surface because common sense says if a nuclear device goes off in fallujah we will be there long past 18 months.  So again, his lying and obfuscations make this more of the same…no change here.

     His record…that anemic thing he persistently points to could have been called change had he not followed in the footsteps of JFK and Jimmy Carter.    Neither had a record of international involvement.  One botched the bay of pigs, and the other failed so miserably when the Shah was ousted in Iran that 30 years later we still can’t get that particular burr out of our rump.  Again….no change here.

  So where is the change?  great speaker? so was Reagan.  Innovator? nothing new in any of his policy statements.  Voting record?

Eureka…change…we have found you.  I don’t think we have ever had anyone as liberal as Barack Hussein (yeah…its his middle name but he isn’t a muslim and damn the muslim’s should be pissed that the man won’t even own his moniker because it sounds like an islamic name) Obama run this deep into a campaign.

   You should enjoy this time Barack.  Hillary can only hit you so hard without offending the socialists in her party.  Imagine what happens  when that paragon of togetherness John McCain starts attacking your record of political isolationism.  Do you really think you control the middle?  you can’t control the middle from the far left or the far right, but you might have a shot if you’ve always been there.  John McCain has.  Of course, if he wins we will need to redecorate the oval office.  I recommend putting the button on the top shelf.  He won’t be able to reach it there.

  

Questions on Barack

   I’m not going to make this long because othr than the hyperbolic excellence I’ve been witnessing lately Barack really doesn’t incite my interest.  A question though for all of you that say there isn’t a race issue

Would Barack be where he is if he were White?

If you said yes you are stupid or a liar, which do you prefer?

Some Observations on The Political Front

   Well, Mitt Romney has thrown in the towel.  This probably proves that on the right he was the best candidate for the job.  He knew enough to depart without pissing good money after bad, and that’s a lesson all our politicians would be well advised to partake of.  You kind of had to feel for the guy after West Virginia.  I mean, what was done there was a do over.   Put in football terms, after the Huckabee Patriots got their asses handed to them by the Romney Giant’s, They called the McClain scumsucking lying geriatric fuckwits (kind of lost my football motif their, but you get the idea) and borrowed a couple of linebackers and a running back.  The refs allowed this, and with more men on the field Huckabee beats Romney.  What kind of a halfwitted system is that?  I know in-breeding is common in Appalachia, but I had no idea the incest ran into their politics.

   The biggest problem for conservatives with Romney getting out of the race is simply he had the only chance left of beating McCain.  Romney at least won in states where a Republican could be expected to win.  I’m all but certain McCain isn’t going to win the presidency if he is counting on New Jersey, New York, Connecticut, and California to get him there.  I’d Have to say based on his moribund track record as a conservative a lot of Republicans won’t be wasting much time come November 4th.  They’re already showing this with a poll count tht is less than half that of the democrats.

   Speaking of which.  After years of trying to get out the black vote they have finally accomplished it.  Not only are they voting in droves, they are voting almost in lock step for Obama.  I think this is cool.  Everyone should participate, and all we had to do was make it color coded.  Shoot, an oreo cookie could’ve beat George Bush had we only known.  Scrape off the cream baby, if it ain’t all brown they won’t vote.  Pardon my obvious racism here, but is it unseemly to note that only guys like Hitler, Stalin,  Hussein, and Ahmadinejad enjoy an 88% popularity at the polls with people of their own race?  Before you climb that podium fuckwit, I’m not comparing him to any of them.  He is far less prepared to lead than any of them we’re upon seeking the highest office in their prospective countries.  If you’d like a comparison I’d go with Jimmy Carter.  Nice guy, incredibly intelligent, and so far out of his league that he well might have been the worst president in the 20th century.

   While it may have been her last good night in awhile, Super Tuesday was fun for a couple of reason for Hillary.  Can you imagine the joy at campaign hillary when they won Massachusetts in dare I say it….a landslide?  Apparently Ted’s powerful endorsement wasn’t exactly that.  It’s nice to see him out and about, and so pale he can’t be on the planet much longer.  I don’t mean to walk on his grave or anything, but what a grand day it will be when his expiration date is realized.

   A couple of other notes…wasn’t Missouri awfully close considering again that Barack had all the endorsements that matter their?  Is there any state left that Huckabee can win?  The answer there is decidely and resoundingly no.

   All the rancor and vitriol aside, the democratic race is shaping up to be a real slugfest.  I can’t picture Hillary Going quietly into that good night, and Barack has proven to be an astoundingly successful candidate considering he doesn’t have any experience, and his platform is still incredibly scant on detail.

  I left out Ron Paul.  Reason being is his irrelevence.  Which hasn’t changed since day one, as previously stated to many times to ocunt here.

Because She Said So, Why?

   I’ve long explored on the fantasy level a menage a trois with Ann Coulter and Laura Ingraham.  Not because I find them to be particularly exciting sexually, rather because damn the conversation would be fun afterwords.  I’m a fan of both though I generally don’t agree totally with either.  In fact, on several issues we are diametrically opposed.

On this though, there can be no doubt.  The woman is spot on.  When she proclaims John McCain to stupid to know he’s been caught lying I get just a little weepy.  It’s nice when someone agrees with you.  Even if you don’t always agree with them.  this is really quite fun….have a look

The california democrat debate

   Well that went better.  Absent the murderous glares of the previous evening, and with character assassination experiencing a temporary hiatus a pair of individuals with real ideas showed up in Hollywood tonight.  Bet that’s a first.

   I agree with neither of these people on so many things I wouldn’t know where to start.  That said, I loathe neither which made tonights debate a far mor easier experience.  Not only were they mostly congenial, they both came off as people you wouldn’t mind having for a President.

   I felt Barack should have maybe kept his answers short on healthcare.  He appears far to coached to play with Hillary on a field she knows better than anyone else still in the race. I’ve already stated that I’ve decided to vote for Hillary, but I thought Barack came off very well.  Unfortunately, for a man so bent on looking forward he keeps digging back into the past for his debate points.  His continuous harangue that he has been right on Iraq all along may well be true, but is disingenuous when you really look at it.  I was right on Iraq all along as well, but Barack and I were not faced with all the data that Hillary was.  He didn’t have access to the top sectret reports, and I’m willing to wager that had he been he would have made the same vote Hillary did.

    To his credit, he comes off earnest, and personable.  These may seem mundane, but presidents have been elected on personality before.  I do think he had to knock a couple out of the park to catch Hillary before superTuesday, and barring a John McCain style dirty trick I doubt he will look real well next Wednesday.

    Hillary was on tonight.  She’s a formidable opponent in any setting, but she has seemed to really hit her stride in the debates.  Her obvious desire to keep the gloves on I thought allowed Barack a lot more leeway on Iraq than his record deserves, but other than that She seemed to control the momentum of the debate all evening.  The look on Barack’s face when she used the “it took a Clinton to clean up after BushI, and it looks like it will take a Clinton to clean up after Bush II was absolutely to die for.  He looked like he’d been punched in the gut after a long night of boozin.

   I know my commmentary is a little slender, but they didn’t say much that hasn’t already been said.  Hillary did for the first time explain her healthcare plans mandates in a debate setting.  Other than that there wasn’t anything you haven’t already heard unless you live in a refrigerator box behind Spanky’s Grog Palace in Poughkeepsie New York.

The endorsement waste of time

     The alternator went out on my car the other day.  It’s no big deal.  A couple of bolts, a couple of wires and right on top so I decided to fix it myself.   The weather was a balmy 12 degrees when I rose about 2 p.m. so I headed over to Billy Bob’s Salvage yard and Latex Pecker Emporium to get the part.

    Billy Bob is somewhat of a savant when it comes to American Politics, so when we’d finished the de riguer discussions on String Theory and Occum’s Razor the conversation turned to recent endorsements.  BB keeps up with politics on CNN, FOXNEWS, and MSNBC.  The reason he does this is becuase Billy Bob don’t like to let facts get in the way of his opinion.

    I enquired as to how he thought the latest endorsements were going to affect the campaign.  These are a few of his theories.

  Ted Kennedy’s endorsement:  This is almost sure to land Obama a larger percentage of the lardassed, drunken, white male vote, but is likely to cost him the Mary Jo Kapechne foundation endorsement.  The NEA (the teachers union, not the endowment for the arts) will likely be split since Ted Kennedy killed a teacher, but continues to fester in the no child left behind debate.

Maxine Waters for  Hillary Clinton:  This one surprised Billy Bob.  He can’t seem to understand how a woman that spent more time on her knees in the oval office during the Clinton Administration than Monica Lewinsky could possibly endorse the guys wife.  I spewed a little clarity on the issue when I explained that Maxine probably swung both ways and therefore was expecting to do a little face time when Hillary is president.

Rudy for John McCain:   Billy Bob thinks this will push John McCain to the republican nomination.  He figures McCain has now locked up the crossdressers, the adulterers, and the italian dwarves with one fell swoop.

John Edwards for ?????  :  Whoever gets this endorsements gets all the people too poor to get to the polls,   the narcissists, and the white lawyers.  Add to this allthe special interest money from revlon and Breck, and you have a prettty solid voting block

All things considered  Billy Bob thinks the endorsements are unimportant.  He’s waiting for the candidate that comes out solidly in favor of sex toys, drunken revelry, and misogyny.  White men still outnumber everyone else but white women in his opinion, and they can always kick the shit out of their wives and not let them vote.

Billy bob’s world might be fantasy, but it sure is fun  Oh yeah, the redneck cocksucker sold me the alternator for 60 bucks…fucking pirate.

It’s not prejudice, it’s pride

     I think I probably spend to much time paying attention to things not worth the effort.  This election cycle is certainly the most important one in history.  I know this because Wolf Blitzer said so.  What’s really not important is the crap that passes as news on this campaign.  Bill Clinton had it right when he said the fighting and bickering is what the news wants to report on, and so they feed the candidates questions that lead to more bickering, and then stand piously on their pedestals crying “for shame.”

    The race issue was a given.  There is a half black guy in the race, and therefore race will be an issue, because race sells advertising and newspapers.  John McCain lying about Biff Romney’s stance on timetables in Iraq (which most americans supported a few months back) isn’t nearly as juicy as Bill Clinton saying Jesse Jackson won in ’84 and ’88 in Soputh Carolina.  This comment is true, but is delightfully newsworthy because the wonks can call it anti-black code speak.

   Now, calling Bill a racist is like calling David Duke a champion of minority rights, but reality isn’t at issue.  What’s at issue is how can we wring every bit of drama we can out of a primary that is rapidly turning into the equivalent of a chowhall food fight.  Bill isn’t a racist, and anyone that doubted black South Carolina would vote for Obama should probably hearken back to the 80’s when they twice voted for Jesse Jackson. 

   Meanwhile,  coservative groups are robocalling as fast as their 486’s can pound out the calls to tell everyone who will listen what a bad bad black hater Clinton is. 
Now why would the conservatives do that?  Is it because they believe Barack is a much easier foe than Hillary?  I do, and I’m your basic dull normal midwesterner.  The Clnton’s are a formidable opponent.  Barack on the other hand hasn’t proven that he will be.

    I remember watching him at the Convention in 2004 and thinking “there stands the first black president of the United States.  I didn’t know he was half black or I may have called him the first brown president.    I also didn’t know he would risk that possibility by running before he could walk.  He is a first term senator from Illinois.   His self proclaimed experience on the world stage was a trip to Africa as a youth, and this may or may not be enough for him to traverse the labyrinth of international issues facing America’s next president.  Awww, hell, thats a damn lie.  there is no way he is ready.

    So the phrase used in this title is being bandied about by the experts/idiots on all the news shows.  I believe it.  I don’t think blacks vote for Barack because they hate whites, though in many cases that may be the case.  You would be hard pressed to find anyone that would admit it if they did, and there is nothing wrong with racial pride anyway.  I especially like the kind of racial pride that causes blacks to lambaste the only president that really did anything for them.  Don’t tell me about LBJ.  His racism IS a matter of public record.

   I like Barack.  I think he has the best intentions, and I think he really believes he can make a difference.  The reason I won’t vote for him though isn’t my racial pride.  It’s that the chunky chick with the big butt has proven she can go to war with the scoundrels and malcontents that infest the halls of congress.  She has also proven that she knows it requires breaking eggs to make an omelette, and for better or worse that will mkae her the most entertaining president if not the most effective.  I’ve long since given up hope that any of them have a clue how to put the dirt back in the hole they’ve dug for us. 

   For those of you who say Hillary had nothing to do with the success of the Clinton Administration and therefore has no right to take credit for it I say this.  You’ve never been married if you believe that.

The Lobbying Conundrum/Canard

   I’m pretty sure there is an election going on because the politicians are bad mouthing the lobbyists.   They’re an easy target, and therefore are front and center when the nitwits give their speeches. Tonight it was Barack, but they all do it, and like lemmings headed for a cliff we follow along never bothering to contemplate what a lobbyist is.  They aren’t the modern day equivalent of the flying monkeys in the Wizard of Oz.

    All a lobbyist is is someone paid to get some face time with our congressional representatives to ensure that our particular special interest isn’t ignored when it comes time to dole out the cash  our government so egregiously squanders.  Believe it or not each of you probably has a lobbyist working for you.  If you’re old, the AARP has your back.  If you have a union job the AFL/CIO is working every day to ensure that your voice is heard.  If you like chasing down Vicodin with nyquil the pharmaceutical companies have trained monkeys in suits trying to keep the good times rolling for you.

     Everyone is represented.  Every splinter of our society has someone taking care of them in one way or another on capital hill.  The truth is lobbyists are to politicians what candy is to children, and they no more want to see the system changed than do you or I when you think about it.  I’m almost certain my congressman can’t fit all his constituents into his busy schedule what with working on his golf game and all.  I’m glad someone has his ear.  Maybe what we should do is expect our elected representatives to listen to our lobbyists, and then do what is best for the country.  Our lobbyists aren’t the problem.  Our politicians are.  Without their tacit and sometimes overt agreement, the corruption and wholesale fleecing of the populace couldn’t occur.

we hold these truths to be self evident

   I’ve been wandering into Ration Reality  playing pissoff the assclown for the last couple of days.  For those of you who have never been, ‘they’re an eclectic bunch of turtle herders that aren’t real gentle on sacred cows.  When they’re done picking on fat people they start in on whatever else is within striking distance.  If it is likely to offend it is probably there, but the site is more than that.  It’s also gauranteed to make you laugh, cringe, or lose IQ points.  I personally enjoy the hell out of it.

     Pissing off the ass clown was really quite simple on this occassion.   Basically I started with a comment about bitchslapping that garrulous old fuck McCain, and moved on to a quite simple claim that we are making a mistake in the middle east, and a short, basic explanation as to why.  My mirth knew no bounds as this troglodytic miscreant started spewing the bush party line.

   Are there really people left out there that think the war in Iraq serves a valid purpose?  That it makes us stronger freer or safer?  Apparently one, but if there are more of you I’d like to hear what you have to say.  I think you’re a fucking idiot, but I love hearing what people opposed to my opinion are thinking.

while you’re at it, I mentioned about 8 months ago that inflation waso ut of control, recession was just around the bend, and Pakistan was the most important powder keg on the planet when it comes to our security.  Your opposing viewpoint on these issues is also welcome.