Ron Paul and supporters: How to broaden your base

   The tragedy is that after 8 months, and a lot of rhetoric, Ron Paul finds himself in a statistical deadheat with me.  Figure in the margin of error (which is always at least 3%) and his 2% is statistically the same as my 0%.  What is needed is a new outlook, and a new direction.  Here are some ideas.  Several of them pertain to expanding awareness on the net.  The reason for this is that it appears to be the only place his supporters ever go.  I’ve seen one Ron Paul bumper sticker, and that was on a car that had a driver doing 45 in the fast lane.

1.  Buy Ron Paul a cat.  I canhazcheeseburger folk are as rabid as ron paul bloggers.  Plus, there are one helluva lot more of them.

2.  Start all posts pertaining to Ron Paul with the words breasts, lust, sex, blowjob, orgy, or menage a trois.  Nothing is expanding interest so far based on poll numbers, and this will ensure a new group of people see your writing.

3.  Change his name to Ron Clinton.  That woman(bill clinton did not have sex with her either) is doing way better than Paul, and has given the American public every reason not to trust her.  It has to be the name.

4.  Photo shop some pictures of him with a babe.  Fred Thompson isn’t even in the race and he is kicking Ron Paul’s ass.  The hottie wife can’t be hurting him in the polls.

5.  get him some xanax.  I like him, but face it.  He was so strident in the last debate you’d swear someone had expanded the constitution to include protection for gays and gummy bear sex.

6.STFU.  You never say anything anyway, and your insane attack pauliac rhetoric is turning off the electorate.  He has some good ideas with some real dumbasses projecting them to the world.

7.  Drink less.  No, really.  It’s obviously a problem based on the drunken comments I get about how much his movement has grown.  I’m sorry…he has been at no more than 2% since day one.  Thats not growth. 

8.  Release a work out video…good god, the mans neck looks like a roll of dimes.  No sex appeal, no charisma.  Buying suits at the childrens section at JCPenney’s isn’t going to get the churchlady vote.

9.  Something new.  I’m sure you’re tired of hearing this, but we know Ron Paul.  We knew everything he had to say within 15 minutes….now what?  This is a contest, dingbats.  You are losing because it looks like you’re snoozing.

10.  hire me as campaign manager.   No forget that.  I’m not taking a pay cut, and getting my ass kicked by a mormon named Mitt, and a NYC italian that looks amazingly like Mussolini isn’t an attractive career move.

Stay mad.  Stay really mad, and never try to put forth a coherent thought when you comment toward the opposition, or even the undecided.   You guys are so pissed off even your moms won’t talk to you anymore.  I know…it’s because you are right and everyone else is wrong, but telling us that all the time just makes us want to kick your ass.

I’ve nothing to write about

  well, i was going to write, but it just isn’t there.  Big surprise.   My mind is on the coming bar-b-q, drinkathon, fireworks extravaganza, and keeps being invaded by random dumbness.  I have maybe 20 good ideas a day on what to write about, but I only have them when I’m not in the vicinity of anything to write with.  If a tool for communication is present i have all the creative ability of an oyster.  Which is I why I keep dropping all these pearls on the three of you.

    Does Great Britain get pissy and plot revenge on the fourth of July?

    Do liberal females support islamic radicals because Burkha’s look so comfortable?

    I know its not commonly known, but freedom of speech goes hand in hand with the freedom to STFU.

    Do personal attacks bother you?  When someone attacks my person I generally go clip my toenails. 

    Have you ever been in a bar, half drunk and thought “there is no one in this whole place that I’m going to sleep with tonight?”  

    me neither

    when your phone rings do you find yourself sneaking up on it hoping the call isn’t from you know who?

    when you get in your car do you feel sexier, or does that just happen to bald fat middleaged men driving vettes?

    How mad would you be if you found out that vegetables being healthy was just a government disinformation    campaign designed to help out farmers?

    Have you ever been talking to someone, and out of the blue you think “i’ve finally found my soulmate?

    Have you ever been right?   again, me either

     If it wasn’t for my children I would likely be rich, incredibly adventurous, and very unhappy.

     there are exactly 7,436,519 reasons why men and women should not live in the same house.  Yet they still persist in this insanity.

     they keep making gadgets that will make my life easier.  All I want is something that will bend over for me.  that I could use.  Nope, its not a feature on the Iphone so I will never own one.

     If being poor isn’t fun why are so many people poor?

     to my liberal fan base:  If George Bush is so stupid, how did he beat Al Gore and John Kerry?  I mean, if they’re the best and the brightest the liberals have to offer, how did a dumbie get the job meant for them?

      If you ever have a few minutes to kill, and your ignorant about what the fight against islamic fundamentalism is all about…type the words “sharia law” in your browser window.  No, don’t bother.  you’re funner when you don’t know what the hell you are talking about.

      I have ribs marinating, rum and tequila cooling, and my neighbors expecting our attendance at the usual 4th of july get together.  

    Thank god i have rum and tequila cooling.  Inebriation is the only thing that makes neighbors tolerable.

     My son just woke up.  Had I ever slept past noon my father would have…well…it’s why I call him father, and not dad.

    Happy fourth of july.  May the freedom we cherish be recognized as something others fought and died for.