Well. having decided the available nutjobs are no more fair than I, an exploratory committe is being formed to decide whether it would be feasible for me to make an ass out of myself in public by running for president. I shall have to devise a platform for thesoon to be formed Grape Party. I chose that name in hopes of scoring the wino vote.
I’ve decided that since its an exploratory committe we shall begin the Exploration at O’malley’s Pub and Eatery, where everyone will be drunk enough to say what a great idea…you got my vote. If I buy a round I mean. Cheap assed irish.
I shall also endeavor to stop using phrases like cheap assed irish, tight assed catholics, moronic assed neo-cons, gotdam liberals, and so forth, and so on, ad infinitum. I don’t mean them anyway, but they do get a reaction.
After the pub we shall stop off at the Pink Pussycat Bordello where I’m wildly popular in the Leather Room. In keeping with the traditions established by the big two parties, we’re going to start by preaching to the choir. It’s a good bet we’ll get 25% support out of the 10 or 12 people that like me, and at least 10% of my blood relatives.
Lacking any money or ability in the political arena all donations of cash, food, transportation (no unicycles please), aluminum cans, or labor will be accepted. This is your chance to become part of the process, and shoot pool and cop a buzz at the same time.
In closing, let me just say. Vote Grape.